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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Rather than letting them out on the road. I reckon all BMW AUDI and Jag XF drivers should be charged an upfront tax of say £1000 a year, to help compensate the victims of them all driving like utter and complete ring pieces.

I has the joy of driving from Peterborough to South Kent and back yesterday, if there was any undertaking, aggressive driving, tailgating, sitting in 3rd lane and refusing to move, cutting on close, or generally being a ham dusted dolt, the drive was piloting a BMW - normally 3 series, An AUDI - normally A3 or A4 or Jag XF.

I know not all of the above are driven by the crusty gussets of the world, but it seems most are.
 

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I don't really see much of this in my travels up here - apart from tailgating, which I'd say 90% or more of the population habitually do.

So, I think you should just change the recipient of these fines to all Southerners.
 

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I don't really see much of this in my travels up here - apart from tailgating, which I'd say 90% or more of the population habitually do.

So, I think you should just change the recipient of these fines to all Southerners.
When I become President (none of that PM toss), you can be my transport minister. Drivers of newer Audis are mostly bell ends but Jag drivers round these parts tend to waft around minding their own business.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Rather than letting them out on the road. I reckon all BMW AUDI and Jag XF drivers should be charged an upfront tax of say £1000 a year, to help compensate the victims of them all driving like utter and complete ring pieces.

I has the joy of driving from Peterborough to South Kent and back yesterday, if there was any undertaking, aggressive driving, tailgating, sitting in 3rd lane and refusing to move, cutting on close, or generally being a ham dusted dolt, the drive was piloting a BMW - normally 3 series, An AUDI - normally A3 or A4 or Jag XF.

I know not all of the above are driven by the crusty gussets of the world, but it seems most are.
You seem to be defining a certain type of company car driver rather than drivers of the brands in question.

Google Steve Coogan as Gareth Cheeseman for an insight into the psyche of the breed :)




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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
This was a Saturday, so not so many company car drivers. Maybe weekend company car drivers? Still ruddy dangerous.
 

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Taking this stance (according to my commute) then women should be the ones pre-fined for tailgating. :thumbs:
 

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When they are tailgaiting just throw on your winscreen washer, it usually splashes on theirs, funny to see them turn their wipers on and keep distance.
 

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When buying the following cars the drivers should be immediately given 9 points on their license, fined loads of money and the car taken away and crushed.

Audi A4, A6
BMW 5 series, X5
Skoda Octavia, Superb
Vauxhall Astra, Insignia
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Rather than letting them out on the road. I reckon all BMW AUDI and Jag XF drivers should be charged an upfront tax of say £1000 a year, to help compensate the victims of them all driving like utter and complete ring pieces.

I has the joy of driving from Peterborough to South Kent and back yesterday, if there was any undertaking, aggressive driving, tailgating, sitting in 3rd lane and refusing to move, cutting on close, or generally being a ham dusted dolt, the drive was piloting a BMW - normally 3 series, An AUDI - normally A3 or A4 or Jag XF.

I know not all of the above are driven by the crusty gussets of the world, but it seems most are.

Bit harsh...... I have a 3 series, does that automatically mean I sit on the arsh end of every car in lane 3 and not indicate at junctions??

I think the key word to the above would "most" :thumbs:
































But I do admire your point to Audi drivers :lol: (fighting my corner) :lol:
 

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Rather than letting them out on the road. I reckon all BMW AUDI and Jag XF drivers should be charged an upfront tax of say £1000 a year, to help compensate the victims of them all driving like utter and complete ring pieces.

I has the joy of driving from Peterborough to South Kent and back yesterday, if there was any undertaking, aggressive driving, tailgating, sitting in 3rd lane and refusing to move, cutting on close, or generally being a ham dusted dolt, the drive was piloting a BMW - normally 3 series, An AUDI - normally A3 or A4 or Jag XF.

I know not all of the above are driven by the crusty gussets of the world, but it seems most are.
I drive like a t**t whether it's an Audi, Alfa or Ferrari. Pretty hard to tell at the point of me passing my driving test for the examiner to know how much a c**t I was/am.
 

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Rather than letting them out on the road. I reckon all BMW AUDI and Jag XF drivers should be charged an upfront tax of say £1000 a year, to help compensate the victims of them all driving like utter and complete ring pieces.

I has the joy of driving from Peterborough to South Kent and back yesterday, if there was any undertaking, aggressive driving, tailgating, sitting in 3rd lane and refusing to move, cutting on close, or generally being a ham dusted dolt, the drive was piloting a BMW - normally 3 series, An AUDI - normally A3 or A4 or Jag XF.

I know not all of the above are driven by the crusty gussets of the world, but it seems most are.
Screw you too hippy :p
 

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When they are tailgai, ting just throw on your winscreen washer, it usually splashes on theirs, funny to see them turn their wipers on and keep distance.
Yes, i do that. And then you get some really irrate female drivers sounding the horn and
Flashing their lights but still not dropping back a bit. Amazing to see. :lol:


159 was great for that. :thumbs:
 

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I think Audi drivers are usually the worst ... but I think this is one of these self fulfilling prejudices - there are plenty of crap drivers you see every day... but when I see an Audi driver it just confirms my belief that they are the worst. It used to be BMW (in my mind at least) who were the worst. Range Rover drivers seem to be arrogant ... I find Jaguar drivers to be excellent.

I quite fancy a Jag XJ ... someone talk me out of it ...

:)
 

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I think Audi drivers are usually the worst ... but I think this is one of these self fulfilling prejudices - there are plenty of crap drivers you see every day... but when I see an Audi driver it just confirms my belief that they are the worst. It used to be BMW (in my mind at least) who were the worst. Range Rover drivers seem to be arrogant ... I find Jaguar drivers to be excellent.

I quite fancy a Jag XJ ... someone talk me out of it ...

:)
I think you deserve it. Go on.
 
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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
So im a ****** as well....... Subtle
I wouldn't worry about it too much mate.

It's one of the unwritten rules of AO that every few weeks somebody has to put up a thread slating other (usually German) brands perhaps employing the odd bit of "hilarious" ( I use the term advisedly) sub Clarkson-esque hyperbole.

The great irony is that said thread often then dwells on the emotional insecurities of the owners of the brands in question .......... ;)


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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I reckon all brands have a collection of tools driving a proportion, it just appears that the tool proportion in certain brands is higher.

I went into an Audi dealership a few months ago with a friend who was considering at A5. The salesman of about 16, wearing a shiny grey suit, was all about 'premium feel, thrusting personality, showing you are a discerning owner, being a blue sky thinking, pushing the envelope, being design lead, being on the zeitgeist.' Every stoooopid, big headed management speak cliche possible.

We came out in need of a beer.

My friend bought a land rover freelander 2 instead.

My point being, some brands seem to focus on certain personalities. Thrusting, aggressive types tend to be thrusting, aggressive drivers not giving two hoots about others. Audi and BMW want to be seen as a management level, aspirational, Teutonic, fast, pointy, frowny brand all about pushing forward and 'getting the job done' they are driven by a large proportion of total tools.
 
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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
I reckon all brands have a collection of tools driving a proportion, it just appears that the tool proportion in certain brands is higher.

I went into an Audi dealership a few months ago with a friend who was considering at A5. The salesman of about 16, wearing a shiny grey suit, was all about 'premium feel, thrusting personality, showing you are a discerning owner, being a blue sky thinking, pushing the envelope, being design lead, being on the zeitgeist.' Every stoooopid, big headed management speak cliche possible.

We came out in need of a beer.

My friend bought a land rover freelander 2 instead.

My point being, some brands seem to focus on certain personalities. Thrusting, aggressive types tend to be thrusting, aggressive drivers not giving two hoots about others. Audi and BMW want to be seen as a management level, aspirational, Teutonic, fast, pointy, frowny brand all about pushing forward and 'getting the job done' they are driven by a large proportion of total tools.
So how much of that is poetic licence ?

I can honestly say that over many many visits to the showrooms of the two brands you mention nobody has ever spoken to me like that. Now that doesn't mean that I didn't take to the salespeople in question but to my previous comment all that cobblers about envelopes and zeitgeists sounds suspiciously like a weak Top Gear script.

And I think you're wrong when you say certain brands focus on certain types of personality, it's probably fairer to say that in terms of car buying it's the other way round and the personality types sometimes migrate to the brand.


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