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Clarkson's review is all about context if you read the whole piece. He's essentially saying a Stelvio isn't bad as far as SUVs go. He'd never buy one!
Then either you're reading too much into what he's saying or he's a liar.
 

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More a case of reading the positive out of what Clarkson is saying to suit what he wishes he’d written?
 

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Nightmare today, parked perfectly central in supermarket car park, got out no problem. Came back from shopping, audi suv parked on my driverside and it was so difficult to get in my car.... What a load of stress it caused me. The audi was massive.......why on earth does anyone need a vehicle that big?
It's to carry around their huge ego.

On the other hand, it's lucky that they have such teeny weeners.. they would never get an average sized Johnson in their cars... :D


Ralf S.
 

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Then either you're reading too much into what he's saying or he's a liar.
Haha, you hardly need to over-analyse things with Clarkson - he says it as it is, like it or loathe it. Hardly a liar, it's 'his' opinion. Or are you saying he has actually gone out and bought one?

If you've not read the article, it's here: https://www.driving.co.uk/car-reviews/clarkson-review-2017-alfa-romeo-stelvio/
He's mainly comparing it to a Q5. It's all about SUVs, no other car type.

More a case of reading the positive out of what Clarkson is saying to suit what he wishes he’d written?
You do have an odd way with words...
 

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Haha, you hardly need to over-analyse things with Clarkson - he says it as it is, like it or loathe it. Hardly a liar, it's 'his' opinion. Or are you saying he has actually gone out and bought one?

If you've not read the article, it's here: The Clarkson Review: 2017 Alfa Romeo Stelvio SUV
He's mainly comparing it to a Q5. It's all about SUVs, no other car type.



You do have an odd way with words...
He"s had a few. His Land Cruiser was on TG once and he's owned more than one XC90.
 

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He"s had a few. His Land Cruiser was on TG once and he's owned more than one XC90.
Well I'm shocked. I guess that makes him a hypocrite then.
 

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As soon as you bring the opinions of Clarkson into any discussions about cars, you are on dangerous ground. Apart from him being the most appalling overgrown playground bully, his opinions change like the tide depending on who happens to be listening and who he wants to offend on that particular day. Personally, I make my own decisions on what to like and not like. Be it cars, clothes, music, people, or anything else. I don’t really care if people don’t like what I like.

I would have thought that as a car designer, your job is to design something that people want to buy. You might think that the Renault Avantime concept is absolutely amazing but clearly the car buying public didn’t, because they only bought about four of them. Similarly, the Fiat Multipla is probably the perfect family car but because it was so completely off-the-wall, it didn’t have the mass-market appeal of the more bland MPVs. Personally, I don’t know why you would have chosen a Merc saloon as your company car when the Citroen C6 existed, but that’s just me.

I also don’t really get the SUV hatred. I don’t think they are any more or less bland than pretty much anything else mainstream that you can buy. As for why people buy them? My wife has an ancient, quite leggy, and very smelly Honda CRV. I have a Saab 9-3 estate. The CRV is shorter and narrower than my Saab yet manages to have much more space inside. My 6’ son can quite comfortably fit in the back behind his 6’ dad and he can’t in the Saab.

The Saab’s front bumper catches coming on and off my drive whereas the CRV has been driven on the some of the more remote and rough roads the UK has to offer, and through floods, without any issues. It has taken us to places where the Saab would really have struggled and, despite its age, it’s always brought us back again too.

The Saab’s boot area is very nicely upholstered with nice mid-grey carpet everywhere. The CRV has a piece of easily removable carpet and lots of wipe clean plastic. This makes it perfect for transporting a wet, smelly dog, muddy boots, rubbish for the tip, furniture, kids to and from uni, and a million other practical things. Coupled with that, Mrs K loves the high driving position.

After flirtations with buying lots of other things, I expect we will probably end up buying another one because they are just so bloody useful. Would an estate car do the same job? Possibly, but to get the same amount of interior space would require a bigger car, and then it wouldn’t fit on the drive. It’s a tool to do a job at the end of the day. If none of that stuff is important to you, that’s fine, don’t buy one. If you want to think that not having an SUV and disliking them somehow makes you more of a petrolhead, more of an “enthusiast”, that’s fine too. You’re wrong, but it’s fine.
 

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Regarding the initial question as to the sameness of cars today. All the manufacturers are trying to solve the same problems of aerodynamics and regulation. When they type their design requirements into their computers all the answers come out the same because they are all asking for a solution to the same question. If you lined up a dozen cars of a similar spec and removed the badging, handed the badges to someone and asked them to put the badges back onto the correct cars I bet they would struggle. The badge that would go back first and fastest would, I reckon, be the Alfa badge because it's the only car with a characteristic look to the marque.
 

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I think the grille is a dead giveaway on Alfa's but I get your point Stelviowner
Also for modern BMWs but that's not necessarily a positive for them.
 

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Nobody types design requirements into computers. There are sketches by people who do it for a living. There are influence boards and discussions about people’s tastes supported by focus groups using images of current cars and showcars to get a feel for what early adopters like. The computers may be used to develop the ideas but even the Chinese who have been known to literally request “this front with that back and a side off this”use the skills of Design. I’ve got an original sketch for the Stelvio from the guy responsible and it’s pencil on paper.
 

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As soon as you bring the opinions of Clarkson into any discussions about cars, you are on dangerous ground. Apart from him being the most appalling overgrown playground bully, his opinions change like the tide depending on who happens to be listening and who he wants to offend on that particular day. Personally, I make my own decisions on what to like and not like. Be it cars, clothes, music, people, or anything else. I don’t really care if people don’t like what I like.
I don't think anyone makes life decisions based on what Clarkson says!
I see him as pure entertainment, and for the most part he's bloody funny, whether on TV or the written word. He's a character, a type that's gradually disappearing from TV with the bosses scared to death of upsetting the snowflakes. Soon there'll be little difference between presenters as well.
There's lovers and haters with everything in life.

Nobody types design requirements into computers. There are sketches by people who do it for a living.
So true. The number of times I've had clients say ''your computer will do that for you''. They have absolutely no idea.
 

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The design is largely dictated by strict regulations and practicality though.


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There are many ways of making sure the shape ends up covering certain points and being at other points in space. What regulations do you mean?
 

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Getting older probably has a part to play in this. I think part of the reason for my dislike of modern cars generally is that they don't look like the ones I liked when I started taking an interest in the 70s and 80s. Part of the reason for my love of Jags, on the other hand, is that until the XF, they still did.
 

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Safety was my first thought.

I’ll counter your Macan and Q5 with the Polo, Fabia and Ibiza...


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The Fabia , Polo and Ibiza are all pretty similar and pointy compared to the Q5 and Macan which at least have very different faces and one is pointy while the other is soft?
 
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