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I was originally going to ask "what's the funniest thing you car has done?" but that seemed too restrictive.

As an example, the memory which prompted this thread was this:

I was driving myself and my friend to play football one evening. As we were going along, I think what happened was that he moved his kit bag slightly, making it press against the electric seat recline switch.
The outcome, certainly from his point of view, was that my car proceeded to attempt to eat him, with the seat folding forward until he was bent in half.
As the driver, full of sympathy and feeling responsibility for his plight, I very nearly crashed the car because I was laughing so much at his panicked screams.
 

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Not sure if this counts, but... at motorway speeds, the air vent on my Alfetta dislodged, and hit me on the chin. Is it an offence to be physically assaulted by your own car?
 

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I remember a GTV6 related story of yours which is perfect for this thread - except that it could be considered motoring related.
I think you should tell it anyway.
 

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Once borrowed my bosses car - a volvo estate that i'd never driven before - to take a few mates on a trip. We set off and got on the motorway when I had an uncomfortable warm sensation between my legs...i honestly thought that I'd pee'd myself.It was only when i pulled over at the next exit that it was a heated seat...something I've never experienced before!
 

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I was once asked to change the wheel on my boss's car. He had already got the jack, wheel brace and spare out of the car and then dissapeared with the key and the car was locked.

Unfortunately he also left the handbrake off, so when I jacked it up it rolled backwards and fell off from the jack.

I managed to sort it out without being seen, and as it was only a fairly new audi A6 it didn't matter too much.
 

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I remember a GTV6 related story of yours which is perfect for this thread - except that it could be considered motoring related.
I think you should tell it anyway.
I think that was it. Or it could be the one where the GTV6 disappeared behind my back at petrol station. Or the one where the angle of the throttle meant my foot fell asleep on it on the motorway and I had to use my hand to operate the foot brake on the slip road.

Despite its attempts to physically harm or humiliate me, I loved that car.
 

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Was acquainted in the early seventies with a friend's ancient Sunbeam Rapier. Somehow a panful of sludge from its sump was kicked over on his pernickety landlady's spotless drive, leading to midnight scrubbing with Fairy Liquid. (Spread the oil about nicely). Another friend bravely adjusted the Rapier's voltage regulator. Result: we were stranded on a pitch dark road, the only light being the regulator glowing like an electric fire. One new wiring loom later, the owner declared he'd run it till it packed up, then remove all identifying marks and abandon it wherever it was. Great idea, but the back axle seized when parked outside his house.
 

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I think that was it. Or it could be the one where the GTV6 disappeared behind my back at petrol station. Or the one where the angle of the throttle meant my foot fell asleep on it on the motorway and I had to use my hand to operate the foot brake on the slip road.

Despite its attempts to physically harm or humiliate me, I loved that car.
I was thinking of a story about an exploding driveshaft I think.
 

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I once reversed my F355 into my mum's Rover 214 whilst standing behind it!
I was living at home at the time and using my dad's garage for the car. Over winter I decided I would put it on axle stands. Lots of people recommend this for storage. I don't normally do this because new build garages are small but my dad's garage is not so bad.

So come spring I took the car off the axle stands. My dad's garage is up a ramp and once off the axle stands I went in for a cuppa. 15 minutes later I come out of the house to the back of the car (unlike the photo it was parked front in, in fact that picture was from the day I brought it home and getting it up the drive and in the garage in reverse was hard) and just at the point I am behind the car it moves, I had forgotten to re-apply the handbrake after removing the axle stands, so my gut reaction is to try to hold it back. I realised it was not an option and that my legs would be crushed and I know my dad would not have been able to get in the car to free me, so I ran. My mum's 214 was thankfully on the drive and a welder behind it. Not to mention a large plastic container on the drive caught up and wedged inside the Fezza's wheel arch. The car came to a reasonably gentle stop against my mum's car and I think that crushed container slowed it.

The only damage was a split rear splitter 😁, my pride and a small gouge in the plastic bumper where the welder was. My mum's Rover did not have a single mark on it.

I have never put my stored motors on axle stands since. Could have been so much worse.

930486
 

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I was thinking of a story about an exploding driveshaft I think.
Oh god I’d forgotten that one. The poor people in the car next to me!

I now also remember another one; I saw an Alfa 75 coming toward me. Thinking that it too must be owned by an Alfa fan, I flashed it, knowing that I only had one flash light that worked. The 75 flashed back, and it too only had one light that worked. You can’t get much more of an Alfa moment than that! :)
 

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Oh god I’d forgotten that one. The poor people in the car next to me!

I now also remember another one; I saw an Alfa 75 coming toward me. Thinking that it too must be owned by an Alfa fan, I flashed it, knowing that I only had one flash light that worked. The 75 flashed back, and it too only had one light that worked. You can’t get much more of an Alfa moment than that! :)
That a great story - with one caveat:

You definitely weren't driving towards a mirrored shop window, were you?
 

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That a great story - with one caveat:

You definitely weren't driving towards a mirrored shop window, were you?
Not unless by some miracle the mirrored window could make a GTV6 look like a 75 :)
 

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Fair point. :unsure:
 

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One time I was parked in the works car park, as you do. We had a combination of private and company car drivers, and my favourite space was "Alfa parked" in the end of a row, next to the tatty old Daewoo Lanos that belonged to the car pool but because it was so manky and horrible, nobody ever used it.

One day the Company Car manager got in a SMART repairer to tidy up a small dent on the rear wheel arch of the Finance Director's Mercedes. He told the fella, it's "the silver one next to the Lanos".

So, Mr SMART comes out and his eye is drawn to my silver GTV (916) which, compared to the E352 or whatever on the other side of the Lanos, is just a bit more pointy, glamorous and sexah obviously. Just as luck would have it, I also had quite a severe dent in the rear wheel arch, c/o a shared Asda/council car-park (someone drove in, then drove off) that I had to use one time.

Any road up, oblivious to any other car, Mr SMART bloke sees it's silver, sees it's next to the Lanos, sees the dent on the rear wheel arch.. and spends the next 2 hours making a beautiful repair on it. It was a properly good job I wouldn't have minded paying for... even though he'd fixed the wrong car.

The firm settled up, since he'd fixed "the silver car next to the Lanos", as instructed.. and they had to get him back in a week later to also fix the Merc'. I dunno if he blagged that one or if it was just a genooine mistake... but whenever I saw the company car manager after that he would always mutter "jammy sod..." :D


Ralf S.
 

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One time I was parked in the works car park, as you do. We had a combination of private and company car drivers, and my favourite space was "Alfa parked" in the end of a row, next to the tatty old Daewoo Lanos that belonged to the car pool but because it was so manky and horrible, nobody ever used it.

One day the Company Car manager got in a SMART repairer to tidy up a small dent on the rear wheel arch of the Finance Director's Mercedes. He told the fella, it's "the silver one next to the Lanos".

So, Mr SMART comes out and his eye is drawn to my silver GTV (916) which, compared to the E352 or whatever on the other side of the Lanos, is just a bit more pointy, glamorous and sexah obviously. Just as luck would have it, I also had quite a severe dent in the rear wheel arch, c/o a shared Asda/council car-park (someone drove in, then drove off) that I had to use one time.

Any road up, oblivious to any other car, Mr SMART bloke sees it's silver, sees it's next to the Lanos, sees the dent on the rear wheel arch.. and spends the next 2 hours making a beautiful repair on it. It was a properly good job I wouldn't have minded paying for... even though he'd fixed the wrong car.

The firm settled up, since he'd fixed "the silver car next to the Lanos", as instructed.. and they had to get him back in a week later to also fix the Merc'. I dunno if he blagged that one or if it was just a genooine mistake... but whenever I saw the company car manager after that he would always mutter "jammy sod..." :D


Ralf S.
Brilliant. Best yet by far.
 

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Brilliant. Best yet by far.
Only because you didn't hear the genuine panic in my mate's voice. ;)

But that is a cracking story, I have to agree. :)
 

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Ralf! That is so jammy! :cool:
 
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