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Discussion Starter #1
Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said,
"Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, "Take what you want."
























The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fitted you, anyway."
 

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How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?





Sorry mate, that's a hardware problem.
 

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How many software engineers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?





Sorry mate, that's a hardware problem.
How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb :D


Just the two but god knows how they got in there :confused: ;)
 

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That's not an engineer joke! :facepalm:



:p
 

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Discussion Starter #8
Part II

How about this:

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"

The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."

He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight
saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and
see if there's anything he can do for them."





















The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"
 

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A doctor, lawyer and an engineer were discussing the relative merits of a wife or a mistress.

The doctor said that a wife was best. Long term stability, a growing relationship and someone to share your life with.


The lawyer said that a mistress was the best. Exciting, illicit and never staid or dull.


The engineer said that given a choice he would have both.

This surprised the doctor and the lawyer so they asked why.

The engineer replied that it was simple. Tell the wife you are with the mistress, tell the mistress you are with the wife and since neither will want to see you you are free to tackle some interesting engineering problems.
 

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It was in the days of the French Revolution...

A scientist a doctor and an engineer were sentenced to death by guillotine.

The scientist steps up, lies down and the executioner releases the blade...which falls an inch then sticks. The executioner says, "You are free to go. It is an act of God"

The doctor steps up, lies down and the executioner releases the blade...which falls an inch then sticks. The executioner says, "You are free to go. It is an act of God"

The engineer steps up, lies down and the executioner releases the blade...which falls an inch then sticks. The engineer sits up and points at the mechanism, "I see what the problem is!"
 
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