Alfa Romeo Forum banner

1 - 12 of 12 Posts
A

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Apologies if you've seen this before.......


REST OF THE WORLD VERSION:

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the winter.

The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END









UK VERSION

The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.

Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.

A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the grasshopper, are cold and starving.

The BBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper; with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

The British press inform people that they should be ashamed that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so, while others have plenty.

The Labour Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The Grasshopper Council of GB demonstrate in front of the squirrel's house. The BBC, interrupting a cultural festival special from Notting Hill with breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing 'We shall overcome'.

Ken Livingstone (far left) rants in an interview with Trevor McDonald that the squirrel got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the squirrel to make him pay his 'fair share' and increases the charge for squirrels to enter inner London .

In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper anti Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The squirrel's taxes are reassessed. He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as builders for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to work. The grasshopper is provided with a council house, financial aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he can be socially mobile. The squirrel's food is seized and re distributed to the more needy members of society, in this case the grasshopper.

Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start building a new home. The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get to Britain as they had to share their country of origin with mice. On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Britain 's apparent love of dogs.

The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody. Initial moves to return them to their own country were abandoned, because it was feared they would face death by the mice. The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.

A Panorama special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of the squirrel's food, though spring is still months away, while the council house he is in, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain the house. He is shown to be taking drugs. Inadequate government funding is blamed for the grasshoppers' drug 'illness'.

The cats seek recompense in the British courts for their treatment since arrival in UK .

The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks. He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.. Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.

A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost £10,000,000 and state the obvious, is set up. Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for grasshoppers and legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased. The government praises the asylum-seeking cats for enriching Britain 's multicultural diversity, and dogs are criticised by the government for failing to befriend the cats.

The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose. The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity and his traumatic experience of prison. They call for the resignation of a government minister.

The cats are paid a million pounds each because their rights were infringed when the government failed to inform them there were mice in the United Kingdom .

The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing, the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on their credit cards to cover losses. Their taxes are increased to pay for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.

THE END
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
764 Posts
The inquiries into everything get my back up. For example, car drives into tree, driver is drunk and is arrested, has minor injuries, nobody else involved. Police appeal for witnesses, £18,000 enquiry into what happened. This actually happened recently near me.

WHY??? Drunk driver hit a tree, what's to find out? :rolleyes:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,064 Posts
Amusing but a tad over the top IMHO.

Whatever "government" is in "power" will create utter tosh as rules, regardless of political persuasion.

I am actually still (just about) proud to be in a country where the at risk and needy have an opportunity to seek medical help, eat, have a roof over our head etc..
Having come from a large family ( 5 kids), single parent (mother) and having lived on some of the more interesting estates in this country, I am able to speak from experience rather than media hype (not that AndyBoy has purely listened to media alone, he clearly has the intelligence to form his own opinons). I was pushed by a decent school system in the late 70s early 80s. I got a few O levels, A levels and even went on to Uni. I then started teaching in the early 90s and have dragged myself up to the position of headteacher. So not all "scroungers" and council estate families breed the likes of "CossieBags".
I am in a school in a tough part of Brum. We have families who are seriously struggling to get on in life, yes drugs, drink and other influences corrupt them as people, but people they still are.
Unfortunately the media and many in society have written the kids off before they have had a chance. So the children see these images and expect they have to live up to them, hence the cycle continues.......

I pay a lot of tax, on my car, on my wage, on my clothes etc.... As we are all forced to do. The point that gets me is those with money who are able to get away with not paying any tax, or very little, because they are able to pay a good number cruncher.

Society will never be fair, there will never be a utopian future where we all agree, we are all far to diverse to be able to reach this point!

SO we deal with it and get on with our part of the society. I know I pay a decent part in this, I know I am giving as much as I recieved as a kid, thus balancing out the give/take.

There has alway, always been inequality of some form or another. Always some giving, some taking and some doing both. Unfortunately it is rammed home to us by a hypermedia bent on creating demons behind every corner in an attempt to take the spot light off the mongtards that actually should be seen and pointed to.

Its all about blame, who can I point out as a failure so that I can make myself feel better??!

Again, just my point of view, but I truly believe that we need a little more self reflection and a littl eless finger pointing. I have stopped watching all but the bare essentials of the news, and certainly never read a rag that calls itself a "newspaper". Consipiracy theory or not, they are doing a brilliant job of dumbing down the culture in which we live in. Don't even start me on the dross they put on tv!! Reality tv?? Reality?? really? X Factor, a joke of a program.

Rant and theorising over.

I take your point and love the way you put your argument, very clever. I just think it goes a little beyond that, thats all.

Cheers for reading the drivels of a fool...
 
H

·
Guest
Joined
·
0 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
I am in a school in a tough part of Brum. We have families who are seriously struggling to get on in life, yes drugs, drink and other influences corrupt them as people, but people they still are.
Unfortunately the media and many in society have written the kids off before they have had a chance. So the children see these images and expect they have to live up to them, hence the cycle continues.......
Very neatly put :thumbs:

Everyone likes to point and laugh and jeer and mock those less fortunate. (Plenty of it goes on here on AO, for starters) without actually giving thought to the people they mock, many of whom have been failed from the very first days of their lives. Yes, you can escape such upbringings (I'm another who was fortunate enough to do so) but many do not, no matter how hard they may try.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
294 Posts
Amusing but a tad over the top IMHO.

Whatever "government" is in "power" will create utter tosh as rules, regardless of political persuasion.

I am actually still (just about) proud to be in a country where the at risk and needy have an opportunity to seek medical help, eat, have a roof over our head etc..
Having come from a large family ( 5 kids), single parent (mother) and having lived on some of the more interesting estates in this country, I am able to speak from experience rather than media hype (not that AndyBoy has purely listened to media alone, he clearly has the intelligence to form his own opinons). I was pushed by a decent school system in the late 70s early 80s. I got a few O levels, A levels and even went on to Uni. I then started teaching in the early 90s and have dragged myself up to the position of headteacher. So not all "scroungers" and council estate families breed the likes of "CossieBags".
I am in a school in a tough part of Brum. We have families who are seriously struggling to get on in life, yes drugs, drink and other influences corrupt them as people, but people they still are.
Unfortunately the media and many in society have written the kids off before they have had a chance. So the children see these images and expect they have to live up to them, hence the cycle continues.......

I pay a lot of tax, on my car, on my wage, on my clothes etc.... As we are all forced to do. The point that gets me is those with money who are able to get away with not paying any tax, or very little, because they are able to pay a good number cruncher.

Society will never be fair, there will never be a utopian future where we all agree, we are all far to diverse to be able to reach this point!

SO we deal with it and get on with our part of the society. I know I pay a decent part in this, I know I am giving as much as I recieved as a kid, thus balancing out the give/take.

There has alway, always been inequality of some form or another. Always some giving, some taking and some doing both. Unfortunately it is rammed home to us by a hypermedia bent on creating demons behind every corner in an attempt to take the spot light off the mongtards that actually should be seen and pointed to.

Its all about blame, who can I point out as a failure so that I can make myself feel better??!

Again, just my point of view, but I truly believe that we need a little more self reflection and a littl eless finger pointing. I have stopped watching all but the bare essentials of the news, and certainly never read a rag that calls itself a "newspaper". Consipiracy theory or not, they are doing a brilliant job of dumbing down the culture in which we live in. Don't even start me on the dross they put on tv!! Reality tv?? Reality?? really? X Factor, a joke of a program.

Rant and theorising over.

I take your point and love the way you put your argument, very clever. I just think it goes a little beyond that, thats all.

Cheers for reading the drivels of a fool...
So who do you think will win the X Factor? Danyl or Stacey
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,064 Posts
Please stop slandering cats.:lol:

Seriously, both the OP and Wynne71's response are very thought-provoking. There are a lot of less-fortunates who have pulled themselves up by their own determination and ability but there are a lot of bureaucratic time and money wasters out there too.
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top