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Discussion Starter #1
...anybody want to suggest a few?

A local moggy has decided that my car is his quickest route from A to wherever the f*** cats go (usually my lawn for a cr*p).

So - every f'ing day - he walks up my bonnet (often stopping for a stretch or to pad around a bit and admire the view), up my windscreen, across the roof, and down the back window before launching himself off the boot and into my garden for his daily bowel evacuation.

Result - In dry weather, dusty pawprints all over my car. In wet weather, muddy pawprints all over my car. In any weather, cat-cr*p on my lawn. Let me repeat this - this happens every f'ing day. :mad::cry:

I would never seriously advocate cruelty to animals, but hearing some inventive and amusing ways of getting payback on the flea-bag, it's owner, or society in general might cheer me up.

Simon
 
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get a dog

get an air riffle

put rat poison in some cat food and leave it out

run it over

tie it to the grille and go for a blast up the m'way

chop its whiskas off

chop its tail off


only joking i dont condone cruelty to animals, although im sure i read on another thread if get some cat schit from another cat and leave it lying around the cat wont come near as it will think its in another cats territory. dont know if thats true or will work, sure i read it on here somewhere
 
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Cat repellent on the tyres and grill work. and around where you park.


(Probably not safe on the paintwork.)


I'd sort it before the claw scratching starts.
 

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I don't condone cruelty to animals either unless you're ready to do the same kind of stupid punishment to your children.

Tabasco round your car park should work and cat repellent should work also.
Its true. Another cats S**t in your garden should also make it go somewhere else, but for best results try scattering some curry/chili powder on your lawn where it does its business and it will never be back.
 

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Get a cat of your own, preferably a Maine Coon :cool: big enough to scare all the other Cat's and Dog's in your area away.
 

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Ever since my new neighbour moved in with 2 cats the amount of bird poo on the cars and on the washing has decreased massively.

Cats are great. :thumbs:
 
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Try this stuff, it's supposed to scare the ****e out of cats, so that they dont come into your garden:

Buy Silent Roar Lion Manure: Delivery by Crocus.co.uk

You could smear some on your car, but I think I'd rather have the pawprints :lol:
we get ours from the local Zoo, they took age to wonder why it was selling like hotcakes, until someone told them that it was a good cat repellant, its better at that than it is as a fertilizer....

Like the OP i despise cats, and i have had a number of run in's with cat owners round here....

One of the local moggies tried to flex its claws on the roof of my spider one night, i grabbed the thing and took it round to its owners and pointed out that it was damaging my car, all i got was a shrug of the shoulders....
if it does it again and damages the roof of the spider i will be looking to the owners of the flea bitten vermin to replace the roof...its their pet and it damaged it...:bat:

If my dog damaged their car they would be quick enough to be round here bleating to me
 
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...anybody want to suggest a few?

A local moggy has decided that my car is his quickest route from A to wherever the f*** cats go (usually my lawn for a cr*p).

So - every f'ing day - he walks up my bonnet (often stopping for a stretch or to pad around a bit and admire the view), up my windscreen, across the roof, and down the back window before launching himself off the boot and into my garden for his daily bowel evacuation.

Result - In dry weather, dusty pawprints all over my car. In wet weather, muddy pawprints all over my car. In any weather, cat-cr*p on my lawn. Let me repeat this - this happens every f'ing day. :mad::cry:

I would never seriously advocate cruelty to animals, but hearing some inventive and amusing ways of getting payback on the flea-bag, it's owner, or society in general might cheer me up.

Simon
Personally i would collect the cat crap into a little bag and take it round to the owners house, and deliver it personally, and continue to do so until the moggie is dealt with...

Unrealistic...maybe, but very satisfying
 

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Discussion Starter #12
One of the local moggies tried to flex its claws on the roof of my spider one night, i grabbed the thing and took it round to its owners and pointed out that it was damaging my car, all i got was a shrug of the shoulders....
if it does it again and damages the roof of the spider i will be looking to the owners of the flea bitten vermin to replace the roof...its their pet and it damaged it...:bat:

If my dog damaged their car they would be quick enough to be round here bleating to me
I seem to remember from somewhere that you can be held liable for damage that your dog causes, but cats are beyond the law - and I'm sure the little buggers know it.
 

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Catch it, bag it and take it for a ride; 100 or so miles would do; then release it.

The problem is exported without any cruelty:lol:
 

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Theres more than one way

Tea pot full of cold or just warm tea leaves emptied over the little darling- the tea leaves stick lovely, will not return after that
 
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Pour petrol over it and set fire to it, hey Presto warm pussy on your doorstep :)
 
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:eek: If I didn't know you better Ray.... ;)

Have a word with the owner and make sure they are providing a proper poop-station within their house.

If not, shoot the neighbour and adopt the cat, they are lovely little feline friends! :thumbs: :D
 

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Hughsie & Alfa Black - I have to have a smile to myself. :)

Tell someone who hates cats to go around the neighbourhood collecting their crap in a bag!! :lol:

At least it will solve the cat crap problem! :cheese:

I think WR needs a donkey :thumbs:
 

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Crossbow..

An air-rifle makes a "crack" which scares the beast off even if you miss, whereas a 'bow gives you a chance to quickly reload and cap the dozy beast while it's still wondering what that swooosh! was. :lol:

If the vermin-catcher is only wounded and limps home, the vets will be able to remove the bolt more easily than a lead pellet (give cat some brandy, and pull the bolt out in the direction its poking out the other side) but in any event, the cat and the owner will be more careful in future, so job done all the same.

Can't condone air-rifles. The pellets are a bio-hazard to birds and other small creatures which may ingest them! :)


Ralf S.
 
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Cats are an anti-social nuisance, they are owned by anti-social people who should, on buying one should be forced to walk around their neighbourhood wearing a flourescent jacket saying 'I hate other people' while having to find cat dung and clear it up.

The only exception to this rule are owners of house cats, the ones that stay indoors 24hrs a day.

Anyone who says it is a cats nature to soil its neighbourhood should be fine if one of their neighbours comes and lays a nice fat cable on their doorstep for them to step in. My neighbour's cats trick of the moment.

If you want a pet, buy a fish!

End of!
 
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