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Yesterday afternoon, my wife was moaning about having to cook tea again, so I offered to do it.

the conversation sort of went like this:

Me: "What were you going to make?"

Wife: "Jamie Oliver's Meatloaf"

Me: "OK, no problem. I'm going to the shop , do we need anything?"

Wife: "No we should be fine..a bottle of wine would be nice..."

I get back from the shop and start prepping...defrost the mince, chop a shed load of onion and garlic and then start looking for other ingredients.

Me " Do you know where the ground cumin is?"

Wife: "Oh, I think we ran out"

Me: "What about the ground coriander?"

Wife: "Yeah, i used the last of that a few days ago"

Me: " oookaayy...not to worry, I can replace it with garam masala...where are the crackers? (I need 12 and can only find a quarter of a packet left)"

Wife: "I was sure we had a couple of packets!"

Me: "smokey bacon?"

Wife: "errmmm, nope"

Me: "AAARGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

Moral of the story: Don't ever offer to cook a meal again.


4,932 Posts
My fiancee is the same. She uses up all the herbs/spices/seasonings/basic ingredients then doesn't tell me and I only find out when I come to cook tea!

AO Detailing COTY Winner 2018
547 Posts
My wife has the amazing ability to empty the fuel tank of each of our (five) cars every time she drives one, seemingly even if it's only a six mile round trip, and she doesn't think to say/do anything.

me: "I thought I'd take the [Alfa/Fiat/VW/Land Rover/Honda] today - you used it yesterday, has it got petrol in...?"

wife: "Oh yes, it's got about a quarter of a tank"

me: "Ah - I'll fill it up then"

[RobM gets in car, switches on ignition and sees fuel gauge pointing to 'E']

So, in goes another £50 worth of petrol and tomorrow (in this car or a different one) it'll be the same again. My wife tells everyone how economical our cars are, but I think it would be cheaper to run an Airbus A320.

Perhaps she's having an affair with someone 250 miles away? If so, I think I'll get her a season ticket for the train...
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