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Yesterday afternoon, my wife was moaning about having to cook tea again, so I offered to do it.

the conversation sort of went like this:

Me: "What were you going to make?"

Wife: "Jamie Oliver's Meatloaf"

Me: "OK, no problem. I'm going to the shop , do we need anything?"

Wife: "No we should be fine..a bottle of wine would be nice..."

I get back from the shop and start prepping...defrost the mince, chop a shed load of onion and garlic and then start looking for other ingredients.

Me " Do you know where the ground cumin is?"

Wife: "Oh, I think we ran out"

Me: "What about the ground coriander?"

Wife: "Yeah, i used the last of that a few days ago"

Me: " oookaayy...not to worry, I can replace it with garam masala...where are the crackers? (I need 12 and can only find a quarter of a packet left)"

Wife: "I was sure we had a couple of packets!"

Me: "smokey bacon?"

Wife: "errmmm, nope"

Me: "AAARGHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"


Moral of the story: Don't ever offer to cook a meal again.


:censored:
 

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My fiancee is the same. She uses up all the herbs/spices/seasonings/basic ingredients then doesn't tell me and I only find out when I come to cook tea!
 

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AO Detailing COTY Winner 2018
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My wife has the amazing ability to empty the fuel tank of each of our (five) cars every time she drives one, seemingly even if it's only a six mile round trip, and she doesn't think to say/do anything.

me: "I thought I'd take the [Alfa/Fiat/VW/Land Rover/Honda] today - you used it yesterday, has it got petrol in...?"

wife: "Oh yes, it's got about a quarter of a tank"

me: "Ah - I'll fill it up then"

[RobM gets in car, switches on ignition and sees fuel gauge pointing to 'E']

So, in goes another £50 worth of petrol and tomorrow (in this car or a different one) it'll be the same again. My wife tells everyone how economical our cars are, but I think it would be cheaper to run an Airbus A320.

Perhaps she's having an affair with someone 250 miles away? If so, I think I'll get her a season ticket for the train...
 
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