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Good one Bazza Bear, Garry's (verbout) gave me a prompt in a nice snail mail from PONTEFRACT> :):
Welcome back. (y)

I had to, they were all nattering like little old ladies.(y):)
 

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Look at this! Look at this! ZF is back! It’s great to see you back again :)

And cheers big cheers to Verbs, too ;-)
 

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The fire is secured to the wall, in front of a gaping builders entrance. Sit down for how I did it.

My tactical options for rectifying a mis-drilled hole in granite were as follows:

1 - replace entire edifice and drill
2 - declare the task impossible to mortal man, give up and sell fire on ebay at colossal loss

I mulled these over for some time, weighing the pros and cons carefully. I came up with the following solution:
drill MUCH BIGGER holes, much larger than any I have rawlplugs for, and drill them at a slanty angle - fracking style

This created an ovoid hole. I retired to the garage and rummaged - inexplicably I unearthed 2 mahoosive rawlplugs. No recollection or evidence of purchasing these. I like to think of this as some kind of benign intervention. I jammed them into position. On the RHS I also jammed in a small wallplug and 2 matchsticks.

With these in place, I offered up the colossal and weighty cast iron monstrosity - and screwed it in. Securely. With two tiny, thin, spindly screws. It is holding.

Previously I had chopped off the plug, making the warranty void, no doubt - so I could thread the cable under the hearth (and it's wooden sub-structure) and towards a socket. I had drilled small holes through the sub-structure which contained 3 cross members. The 1st cross member was easily negotiated - but the other two were unsighted, underneath a wooden plinth that could not be moved.

Into the ultimate exit hole I shoved a metal bbq skewer until it went through the bulkhead holes, then I cable tied the power cable to the skewer and proceeded to do what Boris Johnson seemingly finds difficult.

I wired the plug and now we have a working, secure, beautiful looking fake (real) cast iron electric stove which looks nice, feels quality, and kicks out **** all heat like a ten quid caravan spesh.
Any pics?
 

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Blimey, welcome back ZF - great to see you still posting round here! :)(y)
Seems a vastly different forum since I was last a regular poster,or maybe as I get closer to my eighth decade perhaps the grey matter is in a general state of confusion.🤣

Latest failed DIY project? Attempting to repair my old dentures with super glue?🥴
 

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Seems a vastly different forum since I was last a regular poster,or maybe as I get closer to my eighth decade perhaps the grey matter is in a general state of confusion.🤣

Latest failed DIY project? Attempting to repair my old dentures with super glue?🥴
You're right Sir! Nothing stays the same, and confusion is all around - though not especially prevalent in old timers :)

Application of super glue to dentures strictly outside the facial orifice please ! (elf'n'safety first!)
 

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Have to go back to my denture clinic for a new set to be made? Oh! just remembered, I have a new set so why have I bothered to stick the old ones together with Loctite SG? Just to see if I could.
🧐 Utter waste of time and effort on my part once more.

It's good to be back for a bit, but I'm reluctant to discuss health problems as I did in the past, cos' some here thought they were rather tasteless or so I was led to believe?:lol:
 

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The fire is secured to the wall...

....I offered up the colossal and weighty cast iron monstrosity - and screwed it in. Securely. With two tiny, thin, spindly screws. It is holding.
Can you setup some CCTV so that we can all, one day, enjoy the sight of it slowly but spectacularly tipping forward and then burning itself, like Alien's blood, through your carpet, floorboards, foundations and - ultimately - the earths core.
 

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Have to go back to my denture clinic for a new set to be made? Oh! just remembered, I have a new set so why have I bothered to stick the old ones together with Loctite SG? Just to see if I could.
🧐 Utter waste of time and effort on my part once more.

It's good to be back for a bit, but I'm reluctant to discuss health problems as I did in the past, cos' some here thought they were rather tasteless or so I was led to believe?:lol:
Great to see you out & about Zed (y)

Don't hold back on the health posts. I've been oversharing in your absence so a bit of extra Haemorrhoid talk would go down a treat....
 

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Have to go back to my denture clinic for a new set to be made? Oh! just remembered, I have a new set so why have I bothered to stick the old ones together with Loctite SG? Just to see if I could.
🧐 Utter waste of time and effort on my part once more.

It's good to be back for a bit, but I'm reluctant to discuss health problems as I did in the past, cos' some here thought they were rather tasteless or so I was led to believe?:lol:
Good to see you again Zed (y):).
Dentists use cement which I always found a little worrying, always imagined a cement truck at the back of the building slowly discharging into peoples mouths! 😂 Keep the superglue for broken crockery (sp?) (y)
 

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Don’t tell the wife I’ve melted her favourite gym water bottle.
I made a honey and lemon drink and thought the water had cooled down enough, it hadn’t. :eek:
 

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Seems a vastly different forum since I was last a regular poster,or maybe as I get closer to my eighth decade perhaps the grey matter is in a general state of confusion.🤣

Latest failed DIY project? Attempting to repair my old dentures with super glue?🥴
Good to have you back ZF.
 

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Don’t tell the wife I’ve melted her favourite gym water bottle.
I made a honey and lemon drink and thought the water had cooled down enough, it hadn’t. :eek:
Always put the whiskey in first, takes the edge off the hot water. (y)
 

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Now I’ve broke her pen holder, made for her in 1995 by a group of adults with learning difficulties who she used to look after in the library.
This is worse than the water bottle,
I’ll maybe fix this.

yes it’s a coffee jar.
 

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What kind a destructive rampage are you on? Is it anger issues?
 
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