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OK, I'm designing a modern equivalent of the Spanish Inquisition, to root out all evil and heretics...
Can you define evil and heresy as both are fairly subjective and I think it is quite important to ensure that the punishment fits the crime. For example, a good spanking might be appropriate for a naughty child but possibly not the right option for a teenager caught surfing S&M websites.
 

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Discussion Starter #22
Can you define evil and heresy as both are fairly subjective and I think it is quite important to ensure that the punishment fits the crime. For example, a good spanking might be appropriate for a naughty child but possibly not the right option for a teenager caught surfing S&M websites.
An interesting point, but I prefer my organisation to remain eusive in thought and deed.

However, if people want to design tortures for specific deserving subjects, that is acceptable.

Mind you, the intention was information gathering rather than punishment, but nothing wrong with branching out.
 

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Discussion Starter #24
Definitely!

Have you seen the two recent(ish) films? They're surprisingly really good, and their treatment of the Paddington Bear Hard Stare is perfcet.
 

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Forcing the suject to watch a whole episode of something that contains Piers Moron / James Corden / Russell Brand* ?

Have I gone too far?

*delete as applicable
 

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Discussion Starter #27
Forcing the suject to watch a whole episode of something that contains Piers Moron / James Corden / Russell Brand* ?

Have I gone too far?

*delete as applicable
Christ. I think with Piers you might have gone too far. That man, his face, his voice, and his opinions make me worry about the future of the human race.


They do get a remote control but the batteries are really weak.
That is diabolical. I think we might have a position for you.
 

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Discussion Starter #28
How about getting a printer to work, which has out of date drivers, and has had non-OEM ink cartridges installed?
 

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Discussion Starter #33
Oh - sat in a car in Cheshire, trying to get a DAB signal. That's a nasty one.
 

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Force the subject to do an errand in peak hour traffic. They have to do it in one of those V**xh*ll C*rs*s which has flaky pink (the manufacturer calls it red) paint, the dashboard has various flickering lights (you're not sure if the petrol gauge is accurate or not) and behind it there is a squeak which you only get to hear when the alternator belt stops squealing.

When they get back, you apologise and tell them that you mean to send them out on an empty road in a fully specced 156 GTA with Q2 and all the toys and a full tank of petrol.
 

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Discussion Starter #37
My next door neighbour appears to be having their driveway refurbished. The starting point of this has been a guy on his hands and knees with a small handheld angle grinder crawling around the drive cleaning out all the old mortar from between the slabs. He's been doing that for 3 days, mostly in the absolute pouring down rain.

I reckon that might be a good one for this thread.
 

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For some reason, I'm expecting @Scudetto to be good at this. I reckon he has the sort of devious mind which would be good at thinking up the ideas we need.*


*And later, during the inevitable schism, will result in him ending up as one of the subjects.
Bazza, you have over estimated my capacity for malice 🙂

However... 😉 it’s putting them in a room and forcing them to listen to nails being scratched down a blackboard, every time 🙂
 

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Discussion Starter #39
Bazza, you have over estimated my capacity for malice
Have I?

However... it’s putting them in a room and forcing them to listen to nails being scratched down a blackboard, every time
HAVE I?
 

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Discussion Starter #40
That's a bit old school for what I was looking for to be honest - I reckon the Spanish Inquisition probably used that one themselves!

But I guess that's expected from a Panzerwagen driver. ;)
 
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