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Discussion Starter #1
With the near weekly change in AR plans it's getting
quite difficult for bloggers and car "news" websites to keep up.
:)rolleyes:)


As we're all Alfisti, what's to say we can't come up with some
more realistic fluff than some of these "experts"? :confused:






So, let's start some rumours, I'll go first.



I reckon that whatever direction AR plan/will take in the next 2-3 years
there is a big bleedin' whole in the line up.


Nope. Not a Spider or Coupe.
There's no Sportwagon. A big mainstream seller, I would guess.


So my prediction is a stretched Giulietta Sportwagon.

:thumbs:


Next!

:D
 

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My guess is it will be something totally pointless and utterly off-trend in the true Alfa tradition.

Like a Mito SW .... or a three door Giulietta .... or maybe something electric :lol:
 

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Well for a start off, sales will be up to 1 million units per year by 2014 :rolleyes:

Observe the new MINI "coupe". Think "we can make something as hideous as that!". Take MiTo, and drop the roofline until the side windows are no more than 2 inches from top to bottom...
 

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Personal flying craft on the cards I hear...





:nutter: :lol:
 
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Discussion Starter #5
I don't feel you're taking this thread seriously... :(








:lol:
 

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My prediction:

That Alfa will claim to return to it's heritage roots and sells three times what it actually achieves.

(Well, we've been hearing it for years and it's always been pretty baseless so far....)
 

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4C will be cancelled due to "economic pressures".

Giulietta GTA will be announced.

Development of 300hp 1.8 engine will be "put on hold" indefinitely, for no clear reason (other than that it possibly never actually existed outside of a computer simulation).

Giulietta GTA will be cancelled due to "lack of suitable engine" and "economic circumstances".

Harald Wester will resign and go to work for VW after everything he has predicted for Alfa fails to materialise.

Alfa will launch a compact SUV which is actually a jacked-up Giulietta with grey plastic bumpers and side trims.

Alfas' new RWD flagship will be a re-badged Dodge Charger.

Five-door Mito will have increased ride-height and hidden rear door handles.

Facelifted Mito will actually be an improvement.

New Dodge "subcompact" will be a re-badged Mito. With a boot.

New Giulia will be unveiled, looking suspiciously like the new Chrysler 200.

4-seat Coupe version of Giulia will be announced. Looks like a 2-door Chrysler 200...

Giulia GTA will be "confirmed for production very soon" by yet another hapless Alfa CEO. Rubbish artists impressions look like Chrysler 200 with a body kit.

Wild front-engine rear-drive concept, the "SXE V6" shown at motor show. Even though Fiat say "...no definite plans for production..." ever-hopeful Alfa enthusiasts rush to their local dealers to place deposits.

First official pictures of Giulia GTA released. For once the artists impressions were right.

Alfas' new fagship will get utterly panned by the motoring press, but will inexplicably sell well...

Alfas' return to the USA will be delayed until 2016.


This is fun... so much ammunition... I could go on... probably forever.
 
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Discussion Starter #12
FoxtrotOscar, you are an evil and very funny person. That had me rolling about!

Cheers,

Nigel
 

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A MiTo-based, 2-seater coupe.. which they woulda called "Sprint" if they hadn't used that name as a trim level...

They call it "MiTo GT" instead.

Someone says "GT" means "Gran Turismo" and the 1.4 ltr donkey might not really qualify.. so they cram a 1750TBi engine in there.

They come in after tha weekend to find that someone in the engine shop has "tweeked it" a bit and it now makes 280bhp and spits fire out of the exhausts on over-run. AR fits a little metal plate on the bumper to stop it melting.. They decide the standard MiTo brakes will be "okay".. :D


Ralf S.
 

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Alfa CEO decides that Alfa needs a city car and signs off on the 500 based Alfa Romeo Runto, using the parts that Ford didn't use on their version (called the the Ford Kak) Alfa actually make a decent fist of it until the prices are announced and Autocar get to test it against The VW UP, and whaterver else VW group have released on the platform.
Comes last in a group test against itself, Autocar stating that The 2.2 turns steering is too go-kart like, the 2-cylinder engine to thrashy and noisy at the red line and brakes aren't up to the job.
 

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So my prediction is a stretched Giulietta Sportwagon.
Alfa will launch a compact SUV which is actually a jacked-up Giulietta with grey plastic bumpers and side trims.
We are getting too close to the truth now. :tut: The G will be stretched, jacked up, plasticised around the bumpers, given ridiculously large wheels, fitted with an iPhone5 docking station and pitched in the premium SUV market in direct competition with the Cayanne - ready for the North American market launch. Only post launch (UK and Europe only) will they realise the MiTo 1.4 engine does not quite cut it and promise a GTA version "in the next few months" whilst releasing a stop gap diesel based on the Brera 2.4 engine.
 

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FIAT sell the Alfa brand to Jeep as a clothing line.
The last Alfa rolls off the production line in mid 2012
A silent protest across Europe sees Alfisti drive their vehicles up to the gates of FIAT franchises and abandon them, dropping the keys down the nearest drain, and blocking traffic for weeks
Alfa branded clothing is taken up as a post ironic cult statement by a gay biker clan in Alabama
 
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