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Discussion Starter #1
We live in an end of terrace town house with big, south facing garden, next door neighbour has identical mid-terrace house with sunless postage stamp garden so when we put our house on market (February) neighbour offered asking price with no estate agents costs.

We then found a nice property at the other end of the country which turned into a nightmare (divorvce and disputed ownership) but that's now sorted and all ready to go ahead.

In the meantime neighbour has an offer for his house from parents of another neighbour which he accepts and no delays planned.

Originally he asks to delay completion to 30th June - all agreed but by 20th becomes apparent he's still sitting on paperwork and has no urgency to complete by 30th. Major row in street, threats to pull out etc etc etc but then he proposed 4th August and we again agreed despite our seller getting twitchy (rightly so IMHO). Exchange needed to happen yesterday and it turns out he's been sitting on questions about curtain poles since 12th July and Building Regs since 14th July.

With my assistance and pulling some serious strings we get the building regs last night and he has answers with his solicitor for 9am this morning but now refuses to put any pressure on his buyer to stump up the deposit and exchange quickly.

No estate agents involved anywhere in the chain except from our vendor to us (but given that the house had been on the market for 2 years he just wants his money so is aying off the pressure on us)

Any suggestions anyone - we've tried

Being nice
Getting them pissed
Shouting
Guilt trips
Pestering

I negotiate multi £m deals for a living and have yet to come across anyone quite so clueless in my working life.

As a second point when it comes to the day of completion I'm sure you've all got some suggestions on underhand (and untraceable) things I could do when vacating the property.

Rant over for another day
 

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wood worm are nice pets and are apparently very good for fishing. I used to keep some in the loft. Dry but dark place to keep them happy until I needed them for fishing.
 
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Leave a dead body under the floor boards (preferably one fresh from the graveyard as murder is a serious issue )

:sick:
 

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Discussion Starter #12
Give him a week to get things moving and say otherwise you will pull out - no arguments, no negotiation - just a statement of fact - non negotiable.
Been there, done that. Down side is we really want the house we've found in York and there aren't that many buyers around at the moment. Also he doesn't NEED to sell - he's only moving next door to pacify wifey.

Goes against all my better judgements but I'm sitting tight.
 

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You've answered your own question - if he's only doing it to pacify the Mrs then she's your key.........

Get you wife to have a tearful talk with his wife...... "o if this sale doesn't go through in the next few days we'll loose the house in York and will end up staying here" etc etc. Not in a guilt trip way, more of her feeling like she'll let everyone day kinda way.

His wife will then see her buttocks and get on his case!

Job done............................
 

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Discussion Starter #15
But the wife is a 1st class psycho - the only woman in this world that scares me. Her responsibility ends at the point at which she told him to get on with it and buy it. Absolutely zero conscience or compassion in her hence why I'm looking at the options for post-completion as well.
 

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She may work on him tho if she thinks she's going to miss out.................... maybe worth a try!
 

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If you've got some grass in the back garden, get some weedkiller ready and on the morning of completion write something unsavoury into the grass, by the time it takes effect you are long gone, just make sure you've redirected all the mail.

OR



Sign him up to all the dating services, straight, gay, Dogging, wife swapping. If you can think of it, sign him/her up.(Just make sure you tell the wife what your doing incase she finds you surfing the web for dogging sites in your area)
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Well best suggestions from the office have been

a) A few pints of milk down the warm air heating vents

b) a bottle of red wine on the parquet flooring that's currently under the hall/dining room carpet. We've got a carpet because of the kids but she's already ordered matching flooring for the rest of the ground floor after lifting a corner of the carpet to check

I'm (almost) sure none of these will come to fruition but it's giving me a smile thinking about it
 
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