[keithyboy]

I'm working at home at present so idiotic phone calls that would normally go unanswered are being fielded. Today's was a cracker

Him: Is that Mr Keithyboy
Me: it is
Him: you had mortgage or loan?
Me: Did I?
Him: I am from Financial Control. You are entitled to compensation because of your mortgage or loan.
Me: which is it?
Him: which what?
Me: mortgage or loan.
Him: You live at (completely wrong address)
Me: I haven't lived there for 15 years
Him: what's your address now
Me: where are you calling from?
Him: Financial Control...... Authority
Me: Not the Financial Conduct Authority
Him: yes, Financial Conduct

And on it went until I asked him his name, which he gave as Dennis something. I asked if he was UK based and he started asking why I didn't believe him.

By this point I was on the FCA website.

Him: Are you googling?
Me: yes
Him: why you waste my time?

I'm thinking there's one person having their time wasted and it ain't Dennis.

Me: what does the FCA do exactly?
Him: why are you wasting my ****ing time? Why are you on computer?
Me: so you work for the FCA and use language like that?
Him: ****ing joker. ****Ing time waster. Why are you being like this? I have refund for you.
Me: I'm just on the FCA website. Where can I find out about my refund?

At this point he called me something I didn't catch and put the phone down.

Still, it made a change from people telling me I've had an accident or that an arrest warrant has been issued.

 

[photoman]

Nicely fielded......my usual tactic is when they say "Is that Mr Photoman" I reply "No". That baffles them.

 

[bazza]

My favourite one recently is a company ringing me to tell me they can help to reduce the number of nuisance calls I get. I asked them if they were going to do this by just stopping ringing me.

 

[TonyGr]

I find it amusing when they don't listen when you answer the phone. "Hello am I speaking to Mrs Gr" "No, don't you recognise a male voice" That throws them and they totally lose their place in the script and can be generally wound up with out trouble.

 

[Nickhoughton567]

I always say “Good afternoon Bob Jones?” And then pretend I’m the famous doctor and tell them about the song of the same name.

I have a mini sweepstake with myself to see if I can get to the chorus before they hang up.

When I get really bored I’ll call them from two phones and put them both on speaker.

I had one the other day “I’m calling about your recent minor road accident.”

I said, “Morris Minor? Manic Miner or just someone under 18?”

 

[Scudetto]

I’m quite sympathetic to legitimate cold callers. They have a shi5 job, and 99% of the people they call will be rude to them. Imagine waking up everyday knowing, that, when you go to work, 100 people are going to be rude to you.

but I do get narked at electricity supply calls from people who speak too fast so as to deliberately fudge the fact they’re not actually your supplier, but a third party pretending to be your supplier. It’s that very deceit I don’t like. They’re trying to pull a fast one. Given my tiny electric bill is of zero financial concern to me, when they say they’d like to talk to me about my electricity supply, I don’t feel that guilty telling them I’m alright for electricity; I don’t need anymore thanks; I’ve got loads of it coming in.

 

[TonyGr]

I find the most annoying those that, when you answer, call centre background noise can be heard so you know the line is open and then they just hang up. This is worse than a dead line on answering. If they don't want to speak to me why call in the first place?

 

[photoman]

IIRC it's to do with the type of call. If they know who you are, name etc then they will continue the call. If it is a cold scam they assess your voice (M/F, old/young etc) and decide if it's worth perservering.

 

[Top Down]

When you get a call asking if you have been in an accident, say yes and thank them for calling you, you get put through to the parasite. When they start asking about the accident, just tell them " yes it was awful, I got killed". 100% they put the phone down.

 

[keithyboy]

I went through a spell of getting calls from ambulance chasers asking if I had hearing damage suffered in a factory setting. I had great fun repeatedly saying "PARDON? I'M A BIT DEAF."

 

[TonyGr]

I spent a few years working for British Steel as an office based advisory engineer providing help and information to consulting engineers (designers) and contractors. I rarely entered the rolling mill or fabrication works and then only for a few minutes.
I also get calls about industrial hearing loss presumably because all they see is an ex British Steel employee. I wouldn't object if the first question was did you ever work in a noise environment to which I could answer no and that would be the end of it. However the assumption is made that all employees must suffer hearing loss merely because they worked for a particular employer and that does annoy me. Any industrial employer will have staff that never work in anywhere noisier than the administration offices so it is unreasonable not to allow for that.

 

[Sterzo]

Had a call from a very considerate scammer. He said: "This is your internet service provider," without saying which one. Most helpful - immediately tells you it's a scam.

 

[TonyGr]

Just had a call which hung up when I answered. According to "Whocalledme" website the number, 07607797748, is of a type reserved for pagers. Why would a pager be calling me?

 

[ChrisH77]

Twice last week we had a call at 07:15 to land line to say an arrest warrant had been issued for non-payment of taxes... yeah, yeah you really think I’m going to believe that?

 

[bazza]

Just had a call which hung up when I answered. According to "Whocalledme" website the number, 07607797748, is of a type reserved for pagers. Why would a pager be calling me?

Why would a pager be still existing?

 

[Scudetto]

I seem to recall pagers were quite popular in healthcare. Maybe they still are.

 

[bazza]

Actually, on that note, I still work with companies which demand that the hospitals we work with have fax machines, so anything is possible.

 

[Sterzo]

Expecting an important call I dare not miss; doorbell and phone ring simultaneously. Don't want the parcel taken away but hey, must answer the call in case. Listen. An accent from well east of Braintree tells me my Virgin is being hacked. Tempted to ask whether a Virgin that's been hacked still counts as a Virgin, but slam phone down again and receive parcel.

 

[symon]

Here is a message which I received from a scammer on Thursday.

 

[cue2]

I answered the phone to somebody calling himself John and he said he was calling from India. I went along with his call for quite some time. Eventually it turned out he was doing research and when he started with this I apologised, telling that I hardly knew him and addressing him by his first name. I told him that I don’t give this kind of info to people I don’t know. I bid him a good day. All of this was during our evening meal and my family were listening, quite bemused. A year later another John called from India and the family were quite amused when my response was
“ oh hello John , how have you been? I haven’t from you for ages!”