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Hi, One and All:)

Sorry that I have not replied
to previous posts
A/F.Failed too connect
something about hosts?
Pc`s what the heck.
I never seem too get it right
well I am a luddite.:eek:


PARAPROSDOKIANS:

(Winston Churchill loved them!)


I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:


"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."


"Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian.


1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..

7.. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.



John t L.
 

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If at 1st you don't succeed .....Look in the bin for the instructions.

Don't hate yourself in the morning...Sleep in till noon.

If at 1st you don't succeed ....Skydiving is not for you.

If you can smile when things are going wrong....You have someone in mind to blame.

If at 1st you don't succeed.....Failure may be your style.

I married Miss Right.....Didn't realise her 1st name is Always though.

If at 1st you don't succeed....Give up...No point being a fool.

Never chase after a woman or train....Another one always comes along.

I still miss my ex.....But my aim is getting better. :thumbs:
 

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Hi, One and All:)

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.


John t L.
Used in my sig.

Along with:
Never make fun of a short idiot. It's not big and it's not clever.
 

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Your generosity is exceeded only by your personal beauty.

I thought I made a mistake once, but I was wrong.
 
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