Alfa Romeo Forum banner

341 - 360 of 386 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,985 Posts
A fight over a pack of toilet rolls broke out between two shoppers. The loser needed first aid from a member of the supermarket staff........she was treated for a soft tissue injury.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,320 Posts
I played football last night on a pitch made out of bricks and rubble... we won 3-1 on aggregate.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
384 Posts
I dreamed about drowning in an ocean of orange fizzy drink last night. Took me a while to work out it was just a fanta sea.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,147 Posts
When the lockdown's over the first person to walk out of a chippy will be torn to shreds by a flock of starving seagulls.
LOL....that would be funnier if not for fact that takeaways (including fish and chip shops) can be open under the rules.....and most are...around here at least!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,732 Posts
Two for the price of one:

Easter will be delayed this year. Jesus has been out of the country visiting his father, so he will have to self-isolate for fourteen days.

Or:

The Vatican has announced that Easter 2020 has been cancelled. This year Jesus stays dead.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
195 Posts
A man walks into a bar and orders 7 shots of whisky. The barman gleefully asks - what's the celebration?! The punter replies "my first blow job!". Ah yes! Cause for celebration indeed says the barman.

No, not really the punter replies. I'm still trying to get rid of the taste.
 
341 - 360 of 386 Posts
Top