Two scientists were discussing new laboratory procedures. One said “For our more dangerous experiments we’re now using lawyers”. “Lawyers?” asks his colleague “why aren’t you using rats?”. “Well you know how it is” said the first scientist “you can get attached to rats....”
I couldn’t believe it when this vegan activist got in my face yesterday and started waving a flyer at me. She kept going on about “All these cows and their flatulence are destroying the ozone layer”, and then she finally glared right at me and said
“and what are YOU doing about it?”
A group of Martians land on Earth and have a chat with the Pope.
“So” asks the Pope “have you guys heard about Jesus?”
“Yes” says the Martians “he pops in to see us every few years”
“He hasn’t been here for 2,000 years” mutters the Pope. Why does he come to see you so often?”
“We think it’s the chocolate” say the Martians
“The chocolate? asks the Pope
“Yes” say the Martians “every time Jesus is about to leave we give him a present of the finest chocolates on Mars to remember us by. Why? What did you guys do for him the last time he visited Earth?.....”
Storm Callum picking up force here :IRISH:
The rest of the coastal counties also under Orange Alert with the rest of the country having a Yellow Alert.
Hatches battened down, hopefully the worst of it will be over by morning here & the rest of the country later...
As the response to the idea was fairly positive let's give it a go. Think of it as the Alfaowner equivalent of the 606 phone in on Radio 5.
As a starting point i'd like to mention Nemanja Vidic. He's managed to damage not just one but three knee ligaments and is out for the season and possibly...
You may have seen the story about the gay couple on a bus who were attacked by a group of teenagers. The gist is that the pair (who are female) refused to perform some sort of live bed show for the group of lads and got a good hiding as a result. A fairly appalling story all round.