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Discussion Starter #1
I've felt it and seen it happen to others


the explanation isn't needed ... but if you can lose it then you've learned
something ... I was jaelous of somone today, and it ate away at me, for hours


but it got me nowhere ... so I changed my mind:)
 

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By dictionary definitions jealousy is by far the worst of the three.
I didn't realise until recently that there was such a difference between envy and jealousy.

I don't think I've ever been jealous - its always been envy.
 

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Jealousy.... a tricky topic.

Answer this honestly:

You and your wife/husband know a couple who you have been friends with for several years. They aren't relatives, maybe they were neighbours once or parents of one of your kids friends, or one of you worked together with one of them - and you know them well enough to meet up with them every couple of months or so for dinner or a drink. Maybe the wives talk on the phone more frequently. You live in similar circumstances, same level of incomes generally, same types of holidays, kids at same schools etc. They are nice people.

One day - They win the lottery. A big win, 10m pounds+. They move to a splendid new 6 bed/5 bath house with grounds. They buy a couple of Bentleys. They retire and buy a place in Majorca where they spend time on their boat.

How do you react? Internally and externally.

Are you thrilled for them, wish them every happiness and only ever think kind thoughts on how fortunate they are and how it couldnt happen to a nicer couple?

Do you retain those thoughts when you hear, for the 19th time, how difficult it is to find a good chef/housekeeper/gardener in Majorca once they have become caught up in a whole different set of problems than you have?

Do you have little pangs of jealousy that prickles you occassionally but on the whole treat them the same?

Or do you wait..... and somehow be unable to control a little desire that they make a terrible investment and lose it all and come back to earth with a bump?

Do you speak to other mutual acquaintances and between you make sly comments about how you can win money but you can't buy class/dignity? Do you say that the fake boobs that the wife has purchased are awful? Have you seen pictures of their place in Majorca and declare it a bit tacky?

Do you comment on how brash their new house is and what on earth they need 5 bathrooms for?

Or does it all eat away at you and you can't find it in yourself to be happy for them at all?

I read a study once that basically said that although money can't buy happiness, the happiest people are those who have just a bit more disposable income than any of their close friends. It also said that the desire most people have for more money is matched only by their desire that those around them don't have more than them.

Money, jealousy, competitiveness... it's a potent mixture.

Sadly, people are so rarely "jealous" of others talents or skills - it only seems to ever be about lovers or possessions.
 
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By way of an example, my nephew is majorly into his dubs and has just bought a really tidy '91 Caddy at a really good price. I'm quite envious because I've always wanted one but I'm not jealous, I'm really pleased for him.

Anger is just an emotion. If you never get angry, check for a pulse.
 
K

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Jealousy.... a tricky topic.

Answer this honestly:

You and your wife/husband know a couple who you have been friends with for several years. They aren't relatives, maybe they were neighbours once or parents of one of your kids friends, or one of you worked together with one of them - and you know them well enough to meet up with them every couple of months or so for dinner or a drink. Maybe the wives talk on the phone more frequently. You live in similar circumstances, same level of incomes generally, same types of holidays, kids at same schools etc. They are nice people.

One day - They win the lottery. A big win, 10m pounds+. They move to a splendid new 6 bed/5 bath house with grounds. They buy a couple of Bentleys. They retire and buy a place in Majorca where they spend time on their boat.

How do you react? Internally and externally.

Are you thrilled for them, wish them every happiness and only ever think kind thoughts on how fortunate they are and how it couldnt happen to a nicer couple?

Do you retain those thoughts when you hear, for the 19th time, how difficult it is to find a good chef/housekeeper/gardener in Majorca once they have become caught up in a whole different set of problems than you have?

Do you have little pangs of jealousy that ***** you occassionally but on the whole treat them the same?

Or do you wait..... and somehow be unable to control a little desire that they make a terrible investment and lose it all and come back to earth with a bump?

Do you speak to other mutual acquaintances and between you make sly comments about how you can win money but you can't buy class/dignity? Do you say that the fake boobs that the wife has purchased are awful? Have you seen pictures of their place in Majorca and declare it a bit tacky?

Do you comment on how brash their new house is and what on earth they need 5 bathrooms for?

Or does it all eat away at you and you can't find it in yourself to be happy for them at all?

I read a study once that basically said that although money can't buy happiness, the happiest people are those who have just a bit more disposable income than any of their close friends. It also said that the desire most people have for more money is matched only by their desire that those around them don't have more than them.

Money, jealousy, competitiveness... it's a potent mixture.

Sadly, people are so rarely "jealous" of others talents or skills - it only seems to ever be about lovers or possessions.
i'd have to see the hooters before I could judge!:lol:
 
D

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Jealousy.... a tricky topic.

Answer this honestly:

You and your wife/husband know a couple who you have been friends with for several years. They aren't relatives, maybe they were neighbours once or parents of one of your kids friends, or one of you worked together with one of them - and you know them well enough to meet up with them every couple of months or so for dinner or a drink. Maybe the wives talk on the phone more frequently. You live in similar circumstances, same level of incomes generally, same types of holidays, kids at same schools etc. They are nice people.

One day - They win the lottery. A big win, 10m pounds+. They move to a splendid new 6 bed/5 bath house with grounds. They buy a couple of Bentleys. They retire and buy a place in Majorca where they spend time on their boat.

How do you react? Internally and externally.

Are you thrilled for them, wish them every happiness and only ever think kind thoughts on how fortunate they are and how it couldnt happen to a nicer couple?

Do you retain those thoughts when you hear, for the 19th time, how difficult it is to find a good chef/housekeeper/gardener in Majorca once they have become caught up in a whole different set of problems than you have?

Do you have little pangs of jealousy that prickles you occassionally but on the whole treat them the same?

Or do you wait..... and somehow be unable to control a little desire that they make a terrible investment and lose it all and come back to earth with a bump?

Do you speak to other mutual acquaintances and between you make sly comments about how you can win money but you can't buy class/dignity? Do you say that the fake boobs that the wife has purchased are awful? Have you seen pictures of their place in Majorca and declare it a bit tacky?

Do you comment on how brash their new house is and what on earth they need 5 bathrooms for?

Or does it all eat away at you and you can't find it in yourself to be happy for them at all?

I read a study once that basically said that although money can't buy happiness, the happiest people are those who have just a bit more disposable income than any of their close friends. It also said that the desire most people have for more money is matched only by their desire that those around them don't have more than them.

Money, jealousy, competitiveness... it's a potent mixture.

Sadly, people are so rarely "jealous" of others talents or skills - it only seems to ever be about lovers or possessions.
Society is now all about possessions, how big the tv is or car, you know the sort of person that looks down their nose and is secretly mocking you in your everyday car whilst they are sitting in a 60k car.
Oh look at my African granite kitchen worktops!!!
 

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I think it was Gore Vidal who gave us the quote 'Every time a friend succeeds a little bit of me dies inside' ( I may be paraphrasing here). But for sure jealousy and envy are a part of human nature. Aren't so many celebrity magazines predicated on a desire to see people who we are jealous of, brought down?

I'd concur with the point about happiness being linked to relative affluence. The saddest man I know has health, nice wife, doesn't have to work too hard, nice automotive collection, detached house in Surrey - yet all his friends appear (to him) to be better off than him.

We must remember part of the primeval urge to succeed which took us from Piltdown man to 21st century Homo Sapiens is essentially simply a desire to 'be better' than others. And so surely jealousy and envy are a part of that. In ancient times that meant having a bigger cave, bigger pile of berries and more animal furs. Now it's corrupted to clothes, cars, houses. But it is an undeniable part of human makeup.

So yes, it's a destructive and negative personal trait. But it's also been important in the development of mankind.
 

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Think it may be up there as a bad trait.
I don't recall being envious or jealous of anybody in my adult life. Perhaps I did as a kid.
 

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I don't think it's the worse trait.

I could name a whole raft of worse ones; cruelty, violence for a start.
 

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I've been very VERY jealous recently.

I'm not going to go in to details, as
a) It's personal
b) It's not fair for any of the other parties.

In my opinion it is a stupid relentless emotion, but one which cannot be helped (Can any of them) It mkes you ugly, and it makes you hurt, and unless you can do something about it (Tell someone, or the one if that's what it takes) it's best sacked off asap.

I didn't realise I was jealous, it just suddenly dawned on me, literally I woke up and thought 'Well blow me down, I'm blooming jealous' It was noce to realise what my problem had been, I'd been feeling very odd and angry for a while with myself, and in my head but couldn't work out why

Find ing out I was jealous, though, was horrid. It's an emotion i try very hard not to let take over. I can be an absolute Cow-son if I linger on jealousy too much.
 

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Jealousy is something that does not bother me, in my view lifes too short so why ruin it with needless emotions. :D
 

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Jealousy is something that does not bother me, in my view lifes too short so why ruin it with needless emotions. :D
It's been proven to me very recently that some emotions (most emotions?) cannot be helped.

I have a whole new outlook on life and the things that sometimes happen within it due to that realisation
 
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