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I hate living in a man cave

2K views 47 replies 16 participants last post by  happy man 
G
#1 ·
I've been stuck in the Midlands for six months now and what was a nice holiday let has turned into a man cave :(

Durty dishes piled on the sink :(

I'm the only one that even attempts to put the hoover round the place :mad:

Cobwebs all over the place :mad:

My room is the only one in the house that's fresh and clean ALL the Comunal Facilities are durty :rant:

One of the Durty Buggers attempted a fish pie tonight with a packet of cheese sauce and an ASDA fish pie medley and a pack of smash :rolleyes:

The whole house smells of fish FFS :rant:

I need to be out of here and in a nice clean house with Mrs HM :)
 
#5 ·
That's a good idea.

I currently live in a shared house with three other mid-20s blokes. We're not overly messy but the culmination of everyone's life does result in a bit of a mess sometimes.
Fortunately, our rent covers a cleaner every month - I believe the cost to the landlord is about £37 every visit and the kitchen, living room, hall, stairs, landing and bathroom get cleaned and hoovered. :)
 
#7 ·
Sounds like student digs Tony :eek::( Surely the rest of the guys dont like living in those conditions though :confused:
A cleaner seems like a good idea. Could be a way around the problem.
 
#8 ·
I used to have flats that I let out, had 2 male chippies in one for 7 months.....when they left the flat was spotless. 2 girls in another flat for 4 months, the place was like a skip when they left....:eek:

Over a priod of 7 years the male tennants were far cleaner than female ones........:rolleyes:
 
#10 ·
Dont even start me on mess and cleanliness, im currently living in student halls. im the only one who cleans, i found a cucumber in the fridge from the 22nd of september, the cooker is manky,the sink is disgusting, its so bad at times i wouldnt keep a dog in there. i cleaned the other day and put post it notes everywhere telling people what needed done. it seemed to work, so get out the post-it notes HM
 
G
#13 ·
Right the Gloves are off :mad:

I was working till past 7:00 despite a 6:00am start, when I got home the place was the usual sh*t pit :rant:

and guess what the two other Durty twarts were down the pub :mad: :mad: :mad:

I cleaned all the communal areas hoovered, mopped, bleached, dusted cobwebs and cleaned the fire.

cleared the sink that was an adventure :(
I had to remove the bloody U bend because it was blocked with grease :vomit:

the place is spotless :D

As they walked through the door laughing and joking I sat very calmly and waited for them to settle and :D

!!!!!! KABOOM !!!!!!

:rant: THE FIRST ONE OF YOU DURTY B@*!£%&DS THAT LEAVES AS MUCH AS A TOAST CRUMB ANY WHERE IN THIS HOUSE I'M GONNA BEAT THE LIVING SCHIT OUT OF YOU I'M NOT PUTTING UP WITH YOU TWO PIGS ANYMORE :rant:

They both looked rather ashamed shuffled about a bit and decided it was time to go to bed :rolleyes:

If this out burst don't clear the air I'm gonna empty the contents of the hoover into their beds :D

and if it gets really bad I've got plans for the frozen Kippers in the freezer :thumbs:

BTW for every one that said pay for a cleaner not a chance you don't hire one to clean up after you at home so why do it when you're in digs :tut:
 
G
#18 ·
You'd have been laughing your nads off mate I did the proper shouty thing and I'm quite fierce when I get started :mad: ;)

Good call Tony :thumbs: I would have done the same.

In fact when I was sharing a student flat it was always me who kept the place clean. I got so fed up that, after washing up a sink full of dirty pans and dishes, I sellotaped an advert to the kitchen cupboard. It read

"Washing Up Lessons Given.

Apply to Julie, Room 2"



I also took to retrieving my mugs from other peoples room, whether or not they were in, awake or alone :eek:
You're too far away to do our washing up :cry:

Don't you mean the gloves were on <--marigold's that is
Oi Nom Nom :tut: It's no joke :p

Funny HM, had similar in barracks at one period :mad:. So, linked up with a couple of other guys who were also scrupulous about personal hygiene, room and kit tidyness etc.

One had previously been with 3 Para. before joining our unit. So one night we tipped all the 'gungy gits' kit and bedding over their floorspaces. :thumbs:

We were then allocated a massive bunk room with just us three rattling around in it. Thereafter we were assigned the title of the three musketeers.:D Our personal weapons were always spotless too! :lol:
Zed that's the most annoying bit the worst durty B'stard is an Ex Tankie :(

You'd be ashamed of him :tut: :(
 
G
#15 ·
Good call Tony :thumbs: I would have done the same.

In fact when I was sharing a student flat it was always me who kept the place clean. I got so fed up that, after washing up a sink full of dirty pans and dishes, I sellotaped an advert to the kitchen cupboard. It read

"Washing Up Lessons Given.

Apply to Julie, Room 2"



I also took to retrieving my mugs from other peoples room, whether or not they were in, awake or alone :eek:
 
#17 ·
Funny HM, had similar in barracks at one period :mad:. So, linked up with a couple of other guys who were also scrupulous about personal hygiene, room and kit tidyness etc.

One had previously been with 3 Para. before joining our unit. So one night we tipped all the 'gungy gits' kit and bedding over their floorspaces. :thumbs:

We were then allocated a massive bunk room with just us three rattling around in it. Thereafter we were assigned the title of the three musketeers.:D Our personal weapons were always spotless too! :lol:
 
G
#20 ·
I think he was 6th Royal mate.

Payne Richard R don't know his last three but he's over 40 and a proper durty b'stard who's old enough to know better :tut:

We had a few manky gets in the Sigs mate we just used to dump all their kit out of the window every time we got beasted for having a manky billet :D :lol:
 
G
#22 ·
Nev the Durty bugger who has the en suite wet room with the Bidet never uses it, it's full of dust and dead flies :lol:

:think: He might be French tho he leaves skidders in the pan :tut:
 
#30 ·
my two brothers in law and a mutual friend lived in a house together for one year. It was essentially a place of fun, rented for the fact that it was HUGE and detached, so we could make all the noise we wanted. We knew it was intended as a party house (we'd all meet, eat, party, watch films etc, generally open house) however one day my mate Stella and I noticed the state of the oven...and just had to clean it...thinking 'our foods cooked in there...' (black muck and months of burnt food,) in the end we bleached the kitchen from top to bottom, and both bathrooms too! men are pretty mank when left to their own devices! my younger brother in law was worst, though now he owns his own place and its pretty tidy...
 
G
#33 ·
Oh dear I think I've upset the house mates :D

Now before we get the :rant:ing anti smokers chipping in I've smoked outside for the last 7 months :D

I came home tonight to the usual pile of durty dishes and despite my last :rant: there's no improvement :rolleyes:

So I thought FOOK IT if you lot don't want to live in harmony and a least keep the house clean, why should I bother standing outside shivering to enjoy a smoke :)

I lit up in the living room and they both jumped out of the chair screaming you can't smoke in here :eek:

My reply :D

When you lot clean up I'll go smoke outside :D
 
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