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Hi guys n girls I'm Ork, I'm new, I'm in trouble ;)

I've just bought a 156 2.0TS Sportwagon and have been having a whale of a time for the past few days, but now seriously need help :(

Last night the wife parked erdy (that's the name of the car) up and all was good.
Last night dropped to -6 here.
This morning the car was frozen so I de-iced her and then found that the doors wouldn't open (unlock) after pressing the keybutton. The alarm light goes out and it makes it's usual couple of beeps but then seems to put itself back on.

So..

I open the door manually (how quaint) and get in, put the key in the ignition and turn...
Nothing, I mean nothing, doesn't even attemp to turn over.

The light on the top of the dash (alarm) goes out and stays out and from memory (although it will take two secs to check) all the lights on the dash go out as they should but the car does nothing at all :(

Any help and advice would be welcomed greatly as I now have a wife who can't get to work and it's my fault for buying a (self edited) Alfa.

I've read a few bits but have no idea whats what and don't want to do something to make things worse.

Many many thanks in advance.
 

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Thanks for the reply :)

LOL

The one thing I didn't think to check! (face palm)

After checking it would appear to be the battery, no lights, no stereo etc..
Though I have just had the shock of my life seeing how much stuff is packed on top of the + terminal :wow:

Can I just take all that stuff off or will it do horrid things to me or my Erdy?
Can I jump start her with all that in place or is there a particular way of performing a jump on an Alfa?
 

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Ignore the previous questions as I've just found that jumping an alfa is not a good thing :tut:

The battery is out and on charge, is there anything I should look out for when I put it back and reconnect everything for a startup?

Or will she just fire up as per normal?

Sorry for the dumb questions but my last motor could be sorted out with a hammer and screwdriver :lol:
 

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See if there's a production date on the battery. If it shows it as being anything older than 3 years or so, I would just advise buying a new one.
 
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