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K

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Who the **** came up with the idea of glitter? Who was it who was sat at home one dark night and thought, I won’t invent a cure for disease, I won’t try to find a Higgs Bosun, I won’t fuse atoms. I won’t even invent a new improved low energy consumption version of someone else’s clever invention. Instead I’m going to invent some tiny little specks of shiny stuff that serve no useful purpose whatsoever. Not just any tiny stuff though, it will be specks of tiny stuff that, through the miracle of static electricity, will stick to absolutely anything and will quite happily transfer to anything.

When Reginald Glitter invented glitter, which dimwit at the greetings card companies thought it would be a good idea to plaster it all over the front of their cards in such a way that it will fall off all over my desk then get on my keyboard, then onto may hands, then onto my face. Whoever you are I hate you. I hate you because I’ve spent the last half hour picking bits of glitter off my desk, hands and face using bits of sellotape because it’s the only way to shift it.
 

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I know I shouldn't mate but I can only laugh at the quality image you just painted :lol:
 

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I feel your pain. As the father of two young daughters we always had Glitter in the house (cards, clothes, toys, or DIY playtime). It gets everywhere. I can't tell you the number of times I am at work and notice my suit / hair / face has speckles of the damn stuff all over it. I hate to think what my clients or colleagues must be thinking.
 
K

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Discussion Starter #5
Get SWMBO to open cards - sorted :thumbs:

...and to maintain your 'Keith' integrity, don't send any either.
I send one Christmas card (to my wife) each year.

Ho Ho ****ing Ho
 

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I hate it more when women plaster it all over themselves then you come back from the pub and get the third degree interrogation on where you've been because you happen to have brushed past someone.
 

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a noble rant. i found an old pack of cheapo xmas cards at home and thought they'll do for the plebs at work (the ones who write merry xmas from *** 'and family' - as if i give a flying fcuk who their family are and likewise them about me no doubt - that's maybe one for another rant). anyway i started to write a few this afternoon and suddenly remembered why they've gone unused the last 2 chritmases - it's because they're covered in friggin glitter all over the front, hence why i'm now covered in the stuff from head to toe :mad:
 

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Lol Made me chuckle there! I'm with you on this one, and ALSO, which **** witt decided to put the **** in lipgloss, Every time my wife kisses me, she then calls me a cute little poofter because i've got 'Glitzy' lips, Rimmel, you're getting a bag of dog Shite on your doorstep this winter!
 

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Ah, and let's not forget that ****ing glitter spray that women spray on their chests, the ultra fine kind that you cannot remove no matter what, You only need to be near that stuff for a second before you end up looking like Dale Winton on a night out!
 

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