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Discussion Starter #1
In local paper january 25th.
A retired Italian couple were hit hard by recessions and cut backs on old age pensions in Italy and couldn't make both end meet every month. Having alerted their local Politicians etc they were politely refused any help. Great Idea by one of their locals though "Use facebook to whir up a situation and ask for help there..." They got plenty of 'friends' sympathising etc but it gradually ground to a halt, people lost interest and several months later, worse off than where they started they both committed suicide :wow:
Whats happened to being polite and friendly to the people you see everyday at the shops. A smile doesn't cost much and making 'friends' within you're community or next door neighbours isn't difficult. Keeping the door open for a colleague at work, talking to real people. It works and its much more friendly than a computer screen.
I come onto this site off and on (the only site I bother with in fact because I enjoy it and we all seem to have a link in our choice of car) O'wise internet is used for some research and e-mail with people I know. Not to trick myself into thinking that I have 'friends' and then finding out that ... It made me a bit sad.
I get many requests to join FB but just can't be bothered with it.
With the local income tax office here last week I got something along the same lines. "Go and try the lottery Sir"...... from a young girl who spent most of her day on an I-phone and most probably FB. It put me in the same frame of mind as those poor Italians, only I felt like walking back with a baseball bat to smash her phone.
Maybe this should be in the rant forum ?
 

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Maybe it should, although this doesn't really sound like a rant :) It sounds like a request to be more thoughtful than anything :)

I do say hello to and smile at people in the street. Maybe because I work in a small town people appreciate it and smile and hello back. I have neighbours that I chat to regularly, but again maybe that's because I live in a small village. We all keep an eye on each other, although some people I'd rather not pay any attention to and others are far too good at paying attention to us :lol:

I don't think you can blame technology for this. People are either polite and thoughtful, or they're not :)
 

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I couldn't agree more... I got rid of my facebook account about 4 months ago and although I do use G+, it's for specific reasons.

I thought I was doing a great job of keeping my friends list on FB small and had just under 100 people on it. Then I read research into how it was impossible to maintain social interaction with friends the larger the group became.

I've seen it happen... friends I used to be close with are no longer friends because they can't find the time to maintain that friendship, but can find time to constantly update their 1000 friends on FB.

A few years ago I stated calling them anti-social networks and my opinion has only been reinforced as time passes.

So I started trimming my friend list down last summer... I cut it by 50% and didn't notice a change at all, I started grouping certain friends and discovered that there were only about 35 people I actually interacted with on a regular basis.

So as G+ came along, and I found it more suitable to my needs... I told every one I was leaving facebook, gave them the details of my G+ account and a month later... bye bye FB.

So far about 25 of them have joined G+, but some are still tied to FB like it's a cult they can't leave... But with each new change on FB, each new invasion of privacy and each time they make things harder, uglier and more intrusive... I start seeing them on G+ a little more. Some waited for a decent iphone app, so are finding they can access it from work when FB is blocked and some are discovering that G+ is not just about friends, but about sharing ideas and learning new things with others... I have people in my circles I don't need or want to circle me back, and vice versa.

But for me... G+ is only used as a means to keep in touch with people who do not live near me and I can't just pop round and visit. We have a little reunion planned for Feb and we do one every few months... 5 of them last year and probably the same or more this year... These are people I knew in the 80's, who I spent countless hours with in my teens... FB was good for reconnecting with them and that then provides links to others... but unless you take it into the real world... it's not being social, it's the opposite.

I don't know many people where I live now... I get along great with the neighbours on one side, but on the other I think they're scum and they've proved to be ignorant, liars and dirty basties.

I smile and say hello to some of my other neighbours and occasionally stop for a few words... others just look at me funny when I smile and nod at them.

Technology may not be entirely to blame... but it is creating a generation of people who are starting to lose the social skills you need to operate in the real world.
 

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I'm not sure if it's creating these people, surely we are the sum of many influences. Even a teenager who sits in their room all day with FB will have to inevitably interact with the outside world in order to eat, drink, go to school etc. As a parent I make sure that the time my son spends out of his room is well spent. He eats with us, for example, instead of taking his food back into his room. That's my rule, but I bet a lot of parents don't do this!
 

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I'm not saying all kids are like this... I'm not even saying it's just kids. But think of the number of people that you meet who seem to lack basic social skills.
 
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Why do the people who don't use facebook feel the need to bang on about how bad it is and try give the impression they are above everyone else because they've resisted the urge to sign up.

No one gives a **** if you use it or not.
 

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I have used it, so I can speak from experience when I say it's a colossal waste of time if you use it a substitute for real world interaction.
 

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I use Facebook frequently. I also use Twitter and LinkedIn and I have a badly used Google+ page. I'm on here, a running forum, another Alfa forum and many art places. I can still be pleasant to people!

I've met a multitude of people I would probably never have met had I not been on these sites. Some will be life-long friends.

It's not the sites that create ill-mannered folk. Some people are just that way inclined.
 

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But what if you don't use it for that reason :confused:

I agree with Karl in that 'most' people who slag off Facebook
or similar sites have no experience of them. Often their comments
start 'I don't use facebook' followed by 'because it's crap'

******** .... you are talking out of your bottom.

If however you have used it (or others) and it doesn't suit you
that's fine but to say that it is crap rather than you didn't like
it is misleading.

So many comments on the subject are attempting to imply
that those who use such sites have some kind of mental
impairment. Why try to suggest such a thing?
 

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But how many people really do that?
Quite a lot in my experience. I feel sorry for those who do use it as a substitute for real life... I come from a background working in social education so I've seen first hand how excessive use of technology can affect peoples lives.

Using technology to enhance you life is great, I do it all the time... but when you see people using places like facebook to have a conversation when they live in the same house, or are even sitting on the same sofa... or have arguments on FB with your partner who is in the next room... It's hard not to think they're a little sad and need help.

I kinda feel the same way about people who can't hold a conversation without checking their phone every couple of mins. :)
 

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But we aren't in the same house or on the same sofa and we are only able to have this conversation because of FB style social networking. Mrs R is sat next to me and she gets real words (and a cuddle if she is lucky). Later, I'll be in the pub and will talk to some more real people. To my way of thinking, I'm one chat up on the deal because of technology.
 

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But we aren't in the same house or on the same sofa and we are only able to have this conversation because of FB style social networking. Mrs R is sat next to me and she gets real words (and a cuddle if she is lucky). Later, I'll be in the pub and will talk to some more real people. To my way of thinking, I'm one chat up on the deal because of technology.
Yeah... but you're not the section of the users I'm talking about. :)
 

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Discussion Starter #16
ooooooo. Interesting. I'd never actually thought of using it in conjunction with real life, in which case YIP it sounds good - but I still don't feel the need to advertise when I do things. Just remember those things for when I have an e-mail or SMS or phone call or even - my word - a real meeting.
If well used then of course; its just not my thing.
The bottom line in the beginning was reflecting on how something that remains virtual for many, has actually taken the lifes of people who beleived that they would get any kind of result/help using it. They obviously needed help in the beginning and maybe thought they would be getting real 'friends' ... who could/would help. Its the first time I've heard of anybody taking their lives because of it.
Many stories of people advertising the fact that they will take their lives for other reasons exist; nobody because the so-called interface/stir group of sympathisers turned out not to be actual 'friends'.
Different things move different people and have different effects.

A man 'living' not too far from here is living in his car with his dog as a result of .....
Some journalist got him a FB account and he's been offered a studio, clothes, food and a job. He's been in the papers also.
The italian couple probably didn't write a moving enough story about their lives and just asked for help to keep on living in dignity in a country they've lived in all their lives - not like the car guy; one of the reasons social help was refused to him - He just turned up after 30 years having left the country and expected 'my' tax money to pay for his retirement having spent everything he had abroad.

The fact that people are having to help each other more and more to meet ends is sad but good - the fact that people aren't bothered to help but are willing to look into your story from behind a phone or PC and then don't give a dam is weird.
Newspapers - well at least if you felt truly moved, you could get in touch and really help. I've never heard of people taking the time to write letters to say 'I feel for you' to complete strangers without offering some kind of help or support.

The issue was about the behaviour of officials telling you to 'try the lotto' or 'use FB' (or any other social site) to get results.
Its sad and shows a frame of mind (and status) in my opinion whereas they have never hit hard times. Resolute in the thinking that if they do, FB(internet/papers/advertsing) will save the day and they can rely on people they have never met.
I know several people who live every day life like this! Egoistic behaviour and relying all the time on strangers to get them out of 'trouble'. They play a well oiled game.
I've been too long on this :)
 

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I've got friends and family that are all over the world, I'd use any social network just to keep in touch which tbh I found almost impossible till MySpace came along and tbh I still prefer MySpace but everyone jumped ship to facebook so if I wanted to keep contact if have to migrate too. If I called everyone of them frequently I'd have a humongous phone bill. So this way I can contact them when I can and maintain some kind of contact.
 

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I don't use skype, I refuse to install it on any of my computers, email might take a millennia for a reply FB allows for quicker responses. I've never been into Christmas cards or Birthday cards TBH and everyone knows me for it and respects it. But I do tell them though.
 

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Discussion Starter #20
If something else had been around at the time we all started we'd be using that I suppose. The quality of Skype has gone downhill since Microsoft bought them over...
 
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