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From the witty sniff petrol guys:-

"The start of the year means the Detroit Auto Show and a chance for the American Big Three to give Toyota another bloody good laugh as they wallow around in their own ill-fated crapulence. This year the overwhelming theme of the show was the environment as GM, Ford and Chrysler showed that they really understand the challenges facing car makers as political and social pressures force them to pretend that they're going to build greener cars. Here's what they came up with:


Over at GM the big news was a load of cardboard boxes with some wires sticking out of them underneath a concept called the Volt which is apparently what an all new modular alternative fuel car would look like if they could be bothered to make one. "This here is the future boy," whooped a GM spokesman. "It runs on e-lectricity, or as we call it, Commie Gasoline". The Volt's innovative powertrain can be set-up in a variety of ways with petrol, electric or fuel cell motors, all of which can be replaced by a 3.5-litre V6 that makes an efficient 117bhp, just as soon as Al Gore stops bugging them.

Meanwhile, Ford was proudly showing off the Airstream concept which is powered by a block of wood with the words Fuel Cell Electric written on top of it. "Concepts are all about showing the future," shouted a Ford spokesman. "Yep, if you wanna look after the environment you're gonna be driving round in something that looks like this in a few years, you dufus. Of course, we did consider some other names for this vehicle, such as Lame-o and Douchebag. Or of course, you coulda had this other concept which has gotta V8. It's called the Interceptor. Your choice, you goddam pinko liberals".

Chrysler's most planet hugging concept was the Jeep Trailhawk which features a V6 diesel engine with Bluetec technology for cleaner emissions. "We wanted to retain all the classic Jeep design cues," said a spokesman. "But combine them with features that would be attractive to losers. You know, we just sat down and thought, what do assholes who read poetry and **** actually do instead of normal people stuff like playin' football and kicking the face off an owl?"

Another interesting indication of moves to make America more efficient was the official launch of the new Smart ForTwo. Smart executives admit that Americans may be initially wary and sceptical about their products but they denied that they were in anyway upset to discover that the company's stand was listed in the official show brochure as 'Smart (see under F for faggot)' nor that the Big Three had asked show organisers to erect signs next to the cars on show reading 'Warning: Gayness ahead'.

Of course Detroit wasn't all about half arsed environmental window dressing and loss making desperation, there was also something to satisfy fans of mild vulgarity as Rolls Royce premiered its new Phantom Drophead Coupe.

Not to be outdone, Mercedes dug deep into its reserves of cheesy tack to present a bizarre convertible S-class concept called the Ocean Drive. However, whilst most show goers who saw both these cars experience only a mild gag reflex, R&B star P Diddy was less fortunate, leaving the show in an ambulance with what doctors described as a 'medically dangerous erection'."


;)
 

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Only recently GM after finishing of ssqashing the 'last'* of the EV1 electric cars pulled forward its SUV development to face the future head on....
Then they sent a Yank to Oz to sort out those dumb Australians who were making a profit for GM. After removing a swag of the engineering staff, Holden was able to make a loss for GM as is expected. Lately Holden have introduced new measures to reduce productivity such as turning off the airconditioning between the hours of 5pm and 9am in summer. This results in sauna like conditions which caused cad sytrems to crash and productivity to drop as required. To further improve the chances of a continuing loss, new lesser experinced engineering staff are being hired at higher pay rates and positions to experienced staff.

"Yanks..you got love them' as a German said to me recently in Frankfurt as an "african' American barged through with his luggage, shoving people left and right and yelling 'Brother coming through, Brother coming through!" ;) :eek: :rolleyes: :lol:

* there are still af ew EV1s 'loose' in Oz atleast ;)
 
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