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Dear Mr. Darling,


Please find below my suggestion for fixing Britain’s economy…



Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan :


There are about 20 million people over 50 in the workforce. Pay them £1 million apiece severance for early retirement with the following stipulations :



1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed


2) They MUST never claim a state pension - they could live of the interest instead - pension funding crisis fixed



3) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Automotive Industry fixed


4) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed



5) They MUST send their kids to school / college / university - Crime rate fixed



6) They MUST buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week - there's your money back in duty / tax etc.



It can't get any easier than that!

Oh, & if more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.


What do you all think of these ideas, Guys !!!!!......:rolleyes: :lol:
 
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I'm sure I read this on here before?

1) They MUST retire. Twenty million job openings - Unemployment fixed
Leaving millions of experienced, senior, managerial, executive posts empty for youngsters with no life experience to try and fill? Disaster.

2) They MUST never claim a state pension - they could live of the interest instead - pension funding crisis fixed
By the time you've bought a house etc. from this list, the remainder of the £1 million wouldn't be much to live on interest wise, especially as interest rates are at an all time low.

3) They MUST buy a new British CAR. Twenty million cars ordered - Automotive Industry fixed
A British car? 20 million Bristols then? MG Rover are dead / Chinese, MINI is German, Jaguar and Land Rover are Indian, Aston Martin are half Kuwaiti.

4) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage - Housing Crisis fixed
House prices go up with the demand that this would cause, the lowest rung of the ladder becomes unreachable for first timers, the housing market grinds to a halt again.

5) They MUST send their kids to school / college / university - Crime rate fixed
Most over 50s would be close to becoming grandparents. Schooling is free, unless you want to send the kids / grandkids to boarding school, the demand of which would make them put their prices up to keep their clientèle economically "elite".

And if a kid wants to go to university, they can do so if they wish, student loans are in place, and most well off families support their kids through university anyway.

As a sweeping generalisation, the youth crimes are mostly due to young chav parents who let their offspring run riot, I would imagine that kids being brought up by over 50s would get a sense of discipline and a family unit.

6) They MUST buy £50 of alcohol / tobacco a week - there's your money back in duty / tax etc.
And there's your money back out again on the health service :)

It can't get any easier than that!

Oh, & if more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances.
This last sentence was added since last time this did the rounds, very topically funny. :)

What do you all think of these ideas, Guys !!!!!......:rolleyes: :lol:
 
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