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Worst song ever...

What’s your vote?

For some unfathomable reason the truly atrocious “I’ve never been to me” decided to remind my brain that at some point I had heard it. A brief discussion with work colleagues has managed to ID some key characteristics...

Sell out/cash in motivation
Awful lyrics
Inhibited ‘proper’ music achieving its potential (Joe Dolce)
Massively annoying/repetitive lyrics
Awful video
Tune that could not be carried in a bucket
Sentimental

So, what gets in your top two?








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There's a cover version of Portishead's Glory Box by John Martyn which is truly abysmal.

But I get irrationally angry that someone can take the great tune of Misirlou, and just add an unnecessary bass line and a complete ****head shouting "Pump it" every now and again and get to be wildly successful.
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Whilst I consider the options, please enjoy this:



Last edited by stan laurel; 1 Week Ago at 22:07.
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Too many too mention - but that won't stop me mentioning two:-

"Send in the Clowns" - always sung but actors who overdo it - you can almost see the drool running down their chins when they sing the word "rich".

"My Way " - oh just "F" off you egotistical "W*****".
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Life - Des'ree

end the thread now
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Mmm, yeah yeah yeah
Oh yeah, yeah yeah
Oh life, oh life

[Verse 1]
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in a park
And there's no one else around
Ooh, I get the shivers
I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

[Chorus]
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life
Doo, doo doo doo

[Verse 2]
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbit's tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
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This^^^^.
Now have unfortunate earworm.
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There is no way the Des'ree is the worst song ever. Granted the lyrics are dreadful but the tune is okay.

One contender has to be Mull of Kintyre for the essence of dirge but the outright winner has to be that 500 Miles abomination which Spotify keeps injecting into my playlist. Hate.
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You're Gorgeous - Baby Bird.

But yes pretty much anything by Des'ree is terrible.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steveisfrowning View Post
Life - Des'ree

end the thread now
I have to agree. "I'm afraid of the dark, especially if I'm in a park, or there's a really big shark, or if my mum's in a nark. "

Absolute dog**** and, worse, the tune is really repetitive and gets stuck in your head.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stan laurel View Post
Whilst I consider the options, please enjoy this:
...Numb works surprisingly well in the 80s arrangement

The other one...is a significant improvement over the lament of the original, even if it sounds like it's coming out of a blender

Anyway, my vote goes to "Il mio nome e' mai piu'", Italian song by Jovanotti in collaboration with two other folks. While it might not sound too bad, the lyrics are an absolutely shameless cash-in on the 1999 Kosovo war; Actually Jovanotti is famous in Italy for coming out with songs, punctual like a Japanese train, every time some major disaster / crisis happens, as long as it's something that can be given an anti-american / anti-NATO / anti-western spin. He didn't care about war raging somewhere in Somalia or Yugoslavia for most of the '90s, there were no Americans or Brits to blame (directly...). It's banal in every conceivable way, basically what you'd get if you asked an elementary school kid to write a composition "against war".

Quote:
Originally Posted by keithyboy View Post
I have to agree. "I'm afraid of the dark, especially if I'm in a park, or there's a really big shark, or if my mum's in a nark. "

Absolute dog**** and, worse, the tune is really repetitive and gets stuck in your head.
You mean...she hadn't been eating nothing but LSD for a week before coming up with that song?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harvo View Post
This^^^^.
Now have unfortunate earworm.

This is the sort of thing I am talking about trite, awful, but you cannot get it out of your head.
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"I don't want to see a ghost
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news"

FFS
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Spirit in the sky.

Just, no.
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I've got an almost matched pair two really strange and very dark songs sung in a chirpy light and catchy style, which when you hear the lyrics make you go WTF.

no 1 "Moon Shadow" by Cat Stevens includes the lyric;

And if I ever lose my hands, lose my plough, lose my land
Oh if I ever lose my hands, I won't have to work no more
And if I ever lose my eyes, if my colours all run dry
Yes if I ever lose my eyes, I won't have to cry no more

and no 2, "Moonlight Shadow" yes "Dave Angel's " theme which has;

The trees that whisper in the evening
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
Sing a song of sorrow and grieving
Carried away by a moonlight shadow
All she saw was a silhouette of a gun
Far away on the other side
He was shot six times by a man on the run
And she couldn't find how to push through
I stay, I pray
See you in heaven far away.

It's the sing-songy way that these horrors are delivered that is just so wierd..
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If we're going for asinine lyrics, how about:

"I'm as serious as cancer, when I say rhythm is a dancer."
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Don't say you're easy on me.....you're about as easy as a nuclear war.
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"I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care"

Absolute toss.

Basically, she's afraid of the dark (and dark parks), and ghosts (prefers toast), and she's very superstitious (won't walk under ladders, but is up for bungee jumping. so much so that she wrote a song about it.
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I accidentally clicked Like on some of the above when I wanted to click Despise. One contender for the Lyrics-made-up-in the-bath Award is:

Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya

Why didn't Shakespeare think of that first?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sterzo View Post
I accidentally clicked Like on some of the above when I wanted to click Despise. One contender for the Lyrics-made-up-in the-bath Award is:

Abra abracadabra
I wanna reach out and grab ya

Why didn't Shakespeare think of that first?
Look, if this thread was about bad poetry you would have a point.
If it was about bad lyrics, maybe... but a song (pardon me for stating what should be blindingly and deafeningly obvious) is the combination of music and lyrics, neither of which might amount to much in isolation, but when put together are pleasing to the ear, even if the words don't mean much on their own

eg:
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And back on topic...

If I had to choose a candidate for the worst song ever, I would have to exclude that large group of compositions so bad they are actually good, and would probably settle on some mawkish schmaltz delivered by somebody like Celine Dion, and written by someone with a large bank account but no soul.
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Maybe the wrong thread, but....
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The blandest, dullest load of utter MOR dross that has ever had the insolence to masquerade as music.
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I've been sch!tting here all day:
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