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(Post Link) post #1 of 34 Old 01-06-16 Thread Starter
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Camper Vans

Yes, I know Wez thinks they are great, and yes, I know you - poor sad individual crawling along the A5 dual carriageway at the front of a mahoosive queue of traffic - believe they are the essence of your hipster, freewheeling, 'I'm a hippy from California not a till jockey from Wickes' existence, but I will have to tell you something...




...they are sheeite. They are the personification of slow. They are wheezy, knackered, shabby crumbling heaps of cack. They do not have the power to pull the skin off a rice pudding and could not drive through a Rizla paper stretched across the road to Wales even if it was wet. If one change of lights on the bypass is sufficient to get through one camper van and an extremely irate driver in an Alfa then we have done well.

Perhaps you should set off in plenty of time for the bank holiday weekends (like two weeks before) or perhaps you did and it just takes you that effin' long to get anywhere? At least in Shrewsbury you are on the flat. I imagine at Dinas Mawddwy you would be at a pace so slow that an irate Gastropod would overtake you, unload a tyre iron and use it to beat your motorised rabbit hutch into it's constituent rusty bits and sweep it from the road.

Seriously, buy a proper car/motorbike and a tent, save up and book a B&B or better yet stay at effin' home and get paid time and a half by Wickes over the bank holidays and go on holiday in Wales in November when it is cheaper.
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No 2 on the Git list

Are you folding?

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A worrying development in this area is the motor-home convoy. Monday the missus got held up behind five identical German behemoths and then yesterday I was held up by a convoy of around 20 Italian vans. One after the other they came, until I lost count. You might be able to sneak past one, or perhaps two, but a convoy is impossible to overtake on country roads.
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such a misery,

I'd love an old camper van, only a splity tho - could lump a aircoold 911 engine in or maybe a maser engine :hmm:
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I saw a pink one some time ago heading for the coast, you can't get much camper than that.
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I don't get the attraction of them either.

Expensive junk.
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Top ranting OP
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Saw an absolutely lovely turqouise and white one with Fuchs wheels yesterday. It was having no trouble keeping up with me. Admittedly I was stuck behind a Hyundai i10 doing 25mph but still.....

Given enough money, I'd love one with maybe a Subaru motor.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy OPlastic View Post
A worrying development in this area is the motor-home convoy. Monday the missus got held up behind five identical German behemoths and then yesterday I was held up by a convoy of around 20 Italian vans. One after the other they came, until I lost count. You might be able to sneak past one, or perhaps two, but a convoy is impossible to overtake on country roads.
A German and Italian convoy!

Yikes!
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Originally Posted by Verbout View Post
I saw a pink one some time ago heading for the coast, you can't get much camper than that.
This forum desperately needs a Basil Brush boom-boom smiley.
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A German and Italian convoy!

Yikes!
The Axis is back.
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Camper-van: Caravan-lite.


They pitch up on the beaches around here
all summer blocking access to the shore and contributing nothing to the region.

No different from Gypsies/Travellers.

Italians are mad for them, for some reason.
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It's a life stage. It starts with retirement and it can happen to a range of people. One of my uncles, who is of considerable means, did it. And a guy at work was explaining to me how it all starts in a month or so for him. What happens is you realise holidays are longer and you want to see Europe. Hotels are too expensive and tents are less versatile weatherwise and a bit uncomfortable. It could happen to you.
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Cool

Well, I must confess to having owned a 1974 Bay-windowed VW camper for the last 20 years. It does 70 mph and I (and nearly everyone we meet when we're out in it) think it's super-cool. The prices of these vans reflect their popularity and the 'following' (Basil Brush boom-boom!) that they enjoy.

It's true that there are a few crumbling/naff ones around, but increasingly they're being restored to a very high standard as they become more valuable and fall into the hands of the slightly better-heeled.

For us, the 'life stage' thing has happened in reverse: we used to camp but nowadays we do uber-glamping. That's where you take your iconic, restored VW camper to the seaside, park on the seafront and book yourself into an expensive hotel overlooking the beach and the VW. I have Italian cars for going fast in.

That said, our current fleet looks like an insane remake of Whacky Races, so probably best to ignore my loony views altogether...

Last edited by RobM; 01-06-16 at 16:25.
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I'd buy a nice car and a trailer tent.
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Quote:
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I'd buy a nice car and a trailer tent.
Little Guy Teardrop Trailers | be different.
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I'd buy a nice car and a trailer tent.
Sounds good.

Hey, you could be like the builders in the Mercedes Sprinter van, who have completely forgotten that they're towing a compressor that's bouncing around behind them as they thrash down the motorway at 100mph...
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Mrs. V keeps saying we should buy a camper, of sorts.

Some of her slope headed relatives are into the VW scene. I call them slope headed because recently their group caused a little trouble on a site and were greeted with four slashed tyres the next morning.

Not good ambassadors for selling the lifestyle to me I informed Mrs. V. "You're just a snob" is the reply.

"Yep"
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I can see the attraction and do appreciate a good VW bus (I'd rather a boat with decent berthing though). I'm perfectly okay with motorhomes as long as they pull in regularly and let the people who aren't on holiday past and, to be fair, most of them do around here. Worse are the Americans who hire big SUVs, can't decide which side of the road to drive on, drive slowly and darn tootin' won't let no one pass.
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Why all this preoccupation with the "super reliable" VW bus?
Friends of ours had one that gave them incredible trouble touring Europe a few years back. With the amount of money and time it took them any equivalent would have been better.
For some reason it's one of those designs children warm to though.
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I am a child.
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Shurley Ireland's small enough that you
can just drive home each night and sleep
there?


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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tata4Now View Post
Shurley Ireland's small enough that you
can just drive home each night and sleep
there?


Who's this petite lady Shurley Ireland ?

There's a tiny Fiat Fiorino based camper!
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Shurley Ireland's small enough that you
can just drive home each night and sleep
there?


We don't have a good road network. We have a lot of pretty roads and good driving roads, but not much if you want to go from here to there quickly. Better than it used to be though.
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Quote:
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We don't have a good road network. We have a lot of pretty roads and good driving roads, but not much if you want to go from here to there quickly. Better than it used to be though.
It sounds very much like the road network and scenery in Wales but on a larger scale.
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such a misery,

I'd love an old camper van, only a splity tho - could lump a aircoold 911 engine in or maybe a maser engine :hmm:
Agreed, some right misery's on here, the vans are fun....ah i think thats the problem
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