She's happy to
AO Platinum Member
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: United Kingdom
Re: Think I might buy a 4x4
another benefit of 4WDs, is the brakes are so powerful at containing the car's considerable mass, that you can safely drive any 4WD at precisely one foot away from the rear bumper of the car in front - even at 80mph! This also helps reduce traffic congestion, when you come to think of it.
Additionally, many of the local supermarkets have come to a little-known agreement with 4WD drivers; they are now allowed to park without question across two, and sometimes, three parking bays. This puts them and their lovely, tastefully-designed car, at a huge advantage over the rest of the riff-raff, who still have to make do with one bay.
Something else that's been quietly introduced, is that 4WD drivers - especially when on the school run - are not obliged to follow the new laws concerning mobile phone use. The same waiver applies to the use of front fog lights, and the additional array of classy after-market lights that only stand to further communicate the style and exquisite taste of the 4WD driver. It is perfectly ok to use these, especially in the rain.
But, be warned. Drivers of lesser, crummier cars, are daring not to acknowledge the greater superiority of the 4WD and the general brilliance of its owner! They are - shock - no longer obliging enough to let the 4WD out of a side road in the same way they would typically allow another type of car out. Rumour is that 4WDs are no longer honoured with same level of cooperation by other road users, on the unfounded basis that - locally - most 4WD drivers are cack-headed, gormless oiks stuffed with enough life-traps and inner-child issues to fill the rear split/fold boot area of their automotive emotional prop.
But they do come in nice colours. And you can get a spare wheel cover that shows two rhinos sha55ing, or one that doubles up as a giant watch. Now isn't that the icing on an already classy cake.
A driver is always faithful to a car that's always faithful to its driver.
Sometimes in the darkest hour, love comes shining through.
Then it doesn't seem so far from me to you.