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(Post Link) post #1 of 27 Old 18-11-07 Thread Starter
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How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Just reading the other thread, and there's really nothing to add, other than but for Thomas Hamilton I'd be able to exact revenge.

Anyway since I'm no longer armed (perhaps a good thing) I've found that the best way of dealing with these cvnts is a can of instant whipped cream.

When confronted by one of these sub human fuktards parked as if they hope to return and find an Alfa / Rav4 hybrid gurgling away between the two vehicles simply THINK ABOUT spraying a layer of cream over the windscreen and the drivers side window.

I bet IN THEORY it's an absolute ******* to clean off, as wipers and cleaner would THEORETICALLY smear it about.

I would urge no one to try and see if the theory is correct.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

at tesco's this afternoon there was a cayenne deliberately parked slap bang in the middle of 2 spaces, his car being obviously so much more important than anybody else's. a can of whipped cream would've been nice. i thought about spitting on it (like i did to the able-bodied lazy housewife who parked her x5 in the disabled bay outside subway the other day) but thought better of it. don't know why though, i wish i had done now.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

I think there's every possibility that a can will last months and even if not there's always the chaved up corsa that would look loads better with a cherry on top.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

...And treacle underneath the door handle.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by ACAPULCO AL View Post
at tesco's this afternoon there was a cayenne deliberately parked slap bang in the middle of 2 spaces...
There's quite a few folks on here who have boasted about taking to spaces in car parks to try to avoid car park dings and have been congratulated for it.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Car park dings are an unfortunate reality yet it is extremely selfish to take two parking spaces
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by Roswell View Post
There's quite a few folks on here who have boasted about taking to spaces in car parks to try to avoid car park dings and have been congratulated for it.
I'll second that Roswell

I have taken two spaces before, but only in spaces the furthest distance possible away from other cars and only when I know that the length of time I'm using it they will not be needed.

Stops those annoying pr*cks who park right next to you, and I mean right next to you, when there are hundreds of other empty spaces.

BTW, whipped cream is predominantly water and diary product so would come off pretty easily.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Ha ha that a quality idea!!!
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

You do have to actually see 'em park. On occasion I've had to park over a line because of how the one next to me was. Then that one goes, and leaves you looking a git.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Normal Pritt-Stick type paper glue
is the worst to get off.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by Roswell View Post
There's quite a few folks on here who have boasted about taking to spaces in car parks to try to avoid car park dings and have been congratulated for it.
Well said Roswell. Indeed, I saw a BMW 5 series parked like that only yesterday. I agree with BF - it's extremely selfish to do so (the car park was quite full too), but I think it illustrates this whole 4x4 bashing is nonsense. Most 4x4's have lower emissions than a 3.2 Brera, and take up as much space.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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this whole 4x4 bashing is nonsense.
Fun, though.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by BigFoot View Post
Car park dings are an unfortunate reality yet it is extremely selfish to take two parking spaces
Not if you've got marked spaces and
people from other companies are using
them to save themselves an extra 10 metres
walk.

I've yet to pick up a dint because I either
park next to car enthusiasts or I take 2 place.

(My 147 got dented-to-fvck the day I picked it up
so I'm very aware of how the scumbags around here park.)
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Fun, though.
Well, as my wife has a 4x4 I beg to differ
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

There is nothing inherently wrong
with driving a 4x4/SUV...


...So long as you don't live/work in
a complete urban environment.

The number of drivers I see who basically
have a car that is too big for them to drive
safely around a town is frightening.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Anyone who parks over two spaces, regardless of how busy or empty a car park may be, is an eedjit of the highest order.

So are those who park in disabled spaces with no blue badge, and those who park in parent/baby spaces because they're too damn lazy to walk an extra 30 yards.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

ha yes but if you park like a twa you will not get any of thoes car park dings on your door
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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ha yes but if you park like a twa you will not get any of thoes car park dings on your door
Yep, very true.

If only supermarkets would do the decent thing and make the bays the size of the cars that are likely to park in them.

Small bays at the front, so the little shopping cars can get in. Medium bays a bit further away, large bays right at the back for bigger cars and SUVs.

Obv. disabled and p&c bays at the front too.
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by Pud237 View Post
Yep, very true.

If only supermarkets would do the decent thing and make the bays the size of the cars that are likely to park in them.

Small bays at the front, so the little shopping cars can get in. Medium bays a bit further away, large bays right at the back for bigger cars and SUVs.

Obv. disabled and p&c bays at the front too.
Very good call! But that is too simple for the planners to grasp buddy!
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Yes.. but if you had little spaces near the shop and big spaces further away, the Chelsea Tractors would park in the small spaces near the shop, crushing any little car that got in their way. That's why people hate 4x4s.. not because of their CO2.


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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

It's OK, I solved it. Wrap your car in bubble wrap whenever you park.

In the meantime, here's something to keep you occupied.

http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/bubble-wrap.swf
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

if you're really insistent that your car has to have 2 spaces to itself then please do it at the arse end of the car park where you have dozens of spaces to choose from. don't hog 2 spaces near the supermarket entrance, otherwise you are a bit of a [email protected] and what's with the "pick-up and drop-off" lane - maybe it means something different in urdu? like "parking for asian drivers only?"
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

I came across something else bubble-wrap-related as well. Somebody suggested packing under the back wheel with the stuff. harmless, but sounds like the 1812 overture when they drive off and scares the sht out of them.
 
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

Last year I happened to visit the ex penitentiary in Maine where they filmed the movie "The Shawshank Remption". It is now a museum. Apart from flogging sodding great doll's houses made out of matchsticks by the prisoners ( my ten year old daughter insisted that I buy one. It was 3 feet by 4, and after ten minutes on the roof rack in a Maine thunderstorm, all that was left was a huge glue smear all over the roof and 5 million matchsticks scattered all over Northern Maine ! ), they also sold pads of facsimile forms as used by either the Prison Service or ( allegedly ) the Maine Highway Patrol. One of these forms was for use when a motorist had parked stupidly. I have left 'em on the screens of cars in this country and seen the drivers faint in shock when they return. If I can find a specimen I'll post it here !
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Re: How to deal with 4x4 drivers who can't park

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Originally Posted by steve lyden brown View Post
Last year I happened to visit the ex penitentiary in Maine where they filmed the movie "The Shawshank Remption". It is now a museum. Apart from flogging sodding great doll's houses made out of matchsticks by the prisoners ( my ten year old daughter insisted that I buy one. It was 3 feet by 4, and after ten minutes on the roof rack in a Maine thunderstorm, all that was left was a huge glue smear all over the roof and 5 million matchsticks scattered all over Northern Maine ! ), they also sold pads of facsimile forms as used by either the Prison Service or ( allegedly ) the Maine Highway Patrol. One of these forms was for use when a motorist had parked stupidly. I have left 'em on the screens of cars in this country and seen the drivers faint in shock when they return. If I can find a specimen I'll post it here !
You fathered children ?? .... only kidding SLB yes if you find a sample then please post it
 
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