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(Post Link) post #1 of 31 Old 02-11-07 Thread Starter
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welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

today, i'm mostly venting my spleen at Captain Fuc5ing **** who parked their substitute for a personality - in this case, a hulking great Volvo XC90* - so badly next to my car that i couldn't get in.

so i'm sorry if i knocked your door once. and i'm sorry if i knocked it twice. but by the third knock, i couldn't give a damn anymore. You parked like a selfish shi5. I just wanted to get home.

And the irony? Another ****-monkey in a Pajero straddled my original chosen space so badly, I couldn't leave my car. So I reversed and found another space. I later got back to my car to find Sweden's finest IKEA-reject less than seven inches away from my door.

parking bays. Involve two white lines and the placement of a vehicle in the middle. Is it, dare I ask, that much of a challenge? Surely a complex array of hill-descent controls, low ratio gearboxes, prat control assist and active 4x4 make it easy to negotiate such an undemanding challenge? Clearly not. Nope, you have to slam right next to my car.

* you gotta have something pretty substantial missing in your life if you need something as fu*5ing big as a XC90 to fill it.

g

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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

Nice rant G, and agree with you on all points
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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Nice rant G, and agree with you on all points

What Hammy said
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

your 100 % right these [email protected] monkeys really dont have a clue and it seems no matter where you park you end up with a [email protected] head 4x4 up against you, you should have............no i wont go there .
 
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

g, may I congratulate you on the meter, cadence and colloquial thrust of that rant?
Secondly, what kind of fooking git was that in the Volvo?!!
 
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

There's a junior school near me that in the mornings it is impossible to drive past because there are huge 4x4s parked on the pavement down both sides of the road for about 150 meters.

The road exits onto the main road between Halifax and the M62 summit.

Why are those women such ******s that they have to drive the biggest car they can find and sit one child in it then stand around in the road chatting because there's no room on the pavement cos they're all ****ing parked on it

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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

well, I'm not proud to be honest troops. I never, ever lose my rag, but I've driven about 2k in the last two weeks and my patience with driver's who compromise my safety and my spirit of cooperation on the road is wearing thin, big time.

Sat nav - if you can't read a bleeding map, then don't drive. Manchester has not moved. Paris is in exactly the same place as it has been for God knows how many years. Unless in exceptional circumstances, there is no reason to switch your brain off and your sat nav on.

Mobile phones - pillocks use these when driving. And one day, one of them will kill you. That's a promise. Remember years ago, the Highway Code stated that no passenger should disturb the driver so he/she can concentrate on the road? Ok, so here's a bonus idea - let's give the driver a sat nav that part blocks the screen! Let's give the driver a phone! Let's give the car a DVD TV player! Let's give him cup holders! Yeah, give me a high five for really fu*5king brilliant inventions that remove him from the fact he's piloting - and is responsible for - a tonne of metal! Coz that's real progress! Coffee in a car? Yay! Oh dear. I spilt some running over a pedestrian. I hope it washes out (the coffee. and the pedestrian).

4X4 - i don't want to start a rant here, but why in the name of all that's Holy, do you need all that metal and complicated drive train? I'm not speaking against those that use them, but why why why, does Suburban Mum need this car? Granted, this is a capitalist/consumer society, so we have the luxury of buying what we want. But USE YOUR FU*5KING PEROXIDE HEAD! The local roads are not getting bigger. Putting bigger and bigger Cack-Mobiles on the road, is not going to a) get you kids to school quicker b) alleviate any traffic problems. Unless you are as stupid as you look, surely you must recognise that your car's exaggerated size compounds the problem. For God's sake, wake up; you DO NOT NEED a hulking great 4x4 for the school run.

Middle lane hoggers. You will be given ten seconds to move over. I will then undertake. This does not pose any risk at all to anyone, because you're so stoned on your own gormless stupidity, you don't even know that I've done it.

Foglights. If you steam up behind me with your powerful front foglights ablaze, I will thank you for pointing out the trecherous driving conditions I have clearly missed, by putting on my rear fog lights. I'm not sure why, but this always causes you to drop back a few feet. Hmmm, now why would that be, I wonder? After all, think of it as me thanking you.

Guys - cars kill. The last ten years has seen some of the most stupid and dangerous driving practices accepted as givens. It is time to stop and think about what we do when we drive, and our responsibilities to ourselves and other road users.

g
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

That's nothing - last Sunday I went into a car-park and a Mercedes was parked in such a way that not only was it straddling 2 bays from left to right; but its front was projecting into the row in front by about 3 feet so it was taking up 4 bays
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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That's nothing - last Sunday I went into a car-park and a Mercedes was parked in such a way that not only was it straddling 2 bays from left to right; but its front was projecting into the row in front by about 3 feet so it was taking up 4 bays

I bet when the owner got back, some kind person had ran their key up and down the sides a few times.
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

warning!!! i will be in the london area in a mitsubishi warrior sunday
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

what they all said.

badly parked suburban 4x4's - they should be towed away and crushed straight away, and the owners have their houses burnt down
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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warning!!! i will be in the london area in a mitsubishi warrior sunday

I wont be in the london area on sunday.
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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I wont be in the london area on sunday.


oh good, i can leave it unlocked like
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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oh good, i can leave it unlocked like

Yes
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

I am with Acapulco Al

Tow there cars and burn thier houses down and then give them all a council flat with a push iron

Lets see how considerate they will be then lolzs
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

You're all right of course but I've been getting the urge for a Land Rover.
Is there anything that can be done to stop these satanic thoughts?
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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You're all right of course but I've been getting the urge for a Land Rover.
Is there anything that can be done to stop these satanic thoughts?
no.

buy one if you want one or need one. but pleeeeeeeease don't use it for the school run with some banal justification for doing so.

g
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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I am with Acapulco Al

Tow there cars and burn thier houses down and then give them all a council flat with a push iron

Lets see how considerate they will be then lolzs
just give them a all a bleedin cardboard box to live in adter their stupid wannabe off roaders have been compacted into 1 cubic meter...
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

its not just 4x4 drivers who park like cockheads, theres a rant of mine on here somewhere about a guy who despite my parking in a row of 30 empty spaces decided to park his campervan about 6 inches from my car, what are these idiots on? what (lack of) thought process goes on in their heads when they park, i always park mile from anyone in clear empty rows and i can guarantee some cockhead will park so close to me i have to get in the pasenger side and clamber across, what are they on? at times i wish i owned an absolute heap of **** banger.
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

Its just the total inconsideration that riddles society in our time. Everyone is only concerned about 'Numero Uno' and as long as nothing comes along to rattle their little lives, they're happy.

With reference to the bad parking practices we've spoke of in here...

... heaven forbid we parked in the same manner right next to their vehicle. You just know that if one of you had to unfortunately park that close to someone's car (because we here all try to park conscientiously, right? ) that you'd be faced with a tirade of verbal abuse had the owner returned before you left your car. So therefore, why do they think it's okay to park so close!

Ooooh, I don't know!

There's all this noise, but no one's saying nothing... - Banksy
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(Post Link) post #21 of 31 Old 03-11-07 Thread Starter
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

MINI driver today (BRIGHT LIGHTS! BIG WHEELS! STRIPES ON THE ROOF); didn't indicate at the roundabout i was on because she was too busy chatting on her hand-held moby. As she cut across me, i beeped her. She mouthed 'what's you f***ing problem' [oh so cultured], i wound my window down and said: 'don't you think it might be safer if you switched your phone off and you indicators on?' Her reply - 'what do you mean?' - was as gormless as i expected. One day, this'll be the bint that kills your loved ones. But she had nice hair. And spotlights. And stripes.

g
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

...and no brain and a big attitood problem...
 
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

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The local roads are not getting bigger. . . . . . . .For God's sake, wake up; you DO NOT NEED a hulking great 4x4 for the school run.

No, but the weans sure are. have you seen some of these fat little blighters lately?

Do agree with you though g
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

One of my best mates was planning on getting a VW Toureg to tow his planned big new caravan with.















I like to think my hysterical laughter and merciless p*ss-taking helped to bring him to his senses. Dunno what he's planning on splashing out on now, but it's definitely NOT a Toerag or a pikie-trailer.
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Re: welcome to the world of the f**5ing brainless

People who don't indicate. Acid enemas for the lot of them. Again, either too lazy to move the little stick to make the little light flash, or plain inconsiderate, or both. Or feckin thick.

Drift without indication into the fast lane and my righteous, divine path, and I will smite you with my Bond weapons.

Fail to indicate your intention to cut across the front of my lovely GT on a roundabout whilst yabbering on the phone you silly *****/fat warm **** drinking, shaven-headed, van driving **** jockey and you will feel the thermonuclear intensity of my death ray. Or have my **** sock shoved down your neck.

U know it's your destiny.

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