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People at Christmas

Do you find that at this time of year people go out of their way to get on your t1ts even more than at other times?

It’s not even 2 o’clock yet and I’m fighting the urge to tell people to just **** off out of it. I went out at lunchtime to get some dinner and some fresh air and Manchester is full of people lumbering about like extras from the Walking Dead with no apparent control over the movement of their body or the direction they are walking. It’s just over a week until Christmas day and there are spotty oiks out there trying to get me to change energy supplier. All I want to do is buy a sandwich. My facial expression and general sour demeanour tell you I don’t want a pamphlet from the Jehovah’s witnesses, I don’t want to buy an inflatable dog, I don’t want to sign up for a direct debit with Christian aid, I don’t want to take part in a survey, I don’t want a free sample of moisturiser. I’m hungry and I’m in a hurry.

I go into a shop and buy something. I get to the till and they say “Would you like one of these? Just £5 today?” “**** off” I want to say. The way this works is that I pick the things I want and bring them to the till. You tell me how much it is, I pay, then I **** off with them. If I wanted whatever that is for a fiver, I’d have picked one up wouldn’t I?

I get back to work with a bag containing my dinner. The woman who sits next to me says ”Have you been out choosing a present for your beloved?” An innocent comment but she’s said it every ****ing day for the last month at least. She follows it up with “Diamonds are nice”. Every. Single. ****ing. Day. Then she starts with “What have you got for your dinner?”
“A sandwich”
“where from?”
“Tesco”
“I had a salad”
“I don’t give a ****”
“It wasn’t very nice”
“I don’t give a ****”
“Is yours nice?”
“It would be a sight nicer if you’d let me ****ing eat it”

Whilst I eat my lunch, I take 15 minutes to look at cars on the autotrader website. I have to take a 30 minute lunchbreak (rules is rules) so I spend the remainder of it doing that. Except I can’t, because the woman who sits on the other side of me starts sticking her neb in. “Ooh, that’s nice.”
“Yes it is”
“My ex-husband used to have one of those”
“I don’t give a ****”
“He never liked it”
“Well he’s a ****ing idiot then”
……….
And on it goes until my mobile phone rings. It’s my daughter and, as it’s a personal call, I nip out to the stairwell to afford myself some privacy and so as not to disturb my colleagues. It turns out there’s a small domestic crisis at home (one of my elderly neighbours has had a funny turn in Bolton and can’t remember where he’s left his car. Will I have a scout round later if it isn’t found by then?). It’s a two minute conversation but it doesn’t stop two other people stopping and standing right next to me, whilst I’m talking, and having an incredibly loud conversation about nothing whatsoever.
I return to my desk
“Everything alright?” says one of the nebby twins
“Fine thanks”
“Was that your wife?”
“No”
“Oh.”
Silence
“Do you need to go home?”
“No”
“Oh”
Silence again
I try to convey a message which says “Mind your own ****ing business” without speaking but clearly I’m failing miserably. Anyone with a brain would realise that I’m giving nowt away but she perseveres with more probing questions:
“What time are you leaving?”
“Have you driven in today?”
“Are you doing anything later?”
“Will you be in tomorrow?”
“Have your kids finished school yet?”
I’m sure she’s hoping I’m going to break down in tears and tell her my wife has chucked me out or some such nonsense.

My wife claims that other people don’t think like I do. She says I lack social skills and only talk about cars and football. Other people enjoy a bit of idle chit-chat to pass the time, I should show more of an interest and ask people things. I think this is total horse****.

No need to respond to this, I feel much calmer having written it down.
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You sound just like my wife and me [or should that be I for the grammer nazis!].

We're a pair of miserable s too
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mapalfa View Post
You sound just like my wife and me [or should that be I for the grammer nazis!].

We're a pair of miserable s too
I think you're ok on the grammar front. I was taught that if you strip out the "my wife and" it should still make sense. You would be left with "You sound just like me" which is fine, whereas "You sound just like I" makes no sense at all.
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I was taught that 'I' in such constructions is traditionally used by Royalties only.

In any case - sounds like a recipe for disaster with all those pokes and questions...
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KB, I think it's almost certainly a case of other people are being their usual selves, and saying and doing the things they usually do. I think you just need a holiday. And of course, there's one coming up very soon. Unfortunately, it's the Christmas holiday, and people who are getting on your t1ts now will be even more so as the time approaches, because they're getting all excited. Sorry I can't offer any hope!

I know what you mean about people being so annoying sometimes though...I went out for a meal with a young lady last week. A little out-of-the-way Chinese restaurant which I'd never been in before. We literally had the place to ourselves, very quiet, very romantic, and we were sat over to one side in a cosy little nook.
Then a couple of ugly-looking young oiks came in and sat at the table right next to ours, and proceeded to talk and laugh very loudly, so much so, that we had to raise our voices to hear each other. WTF?!

Last edited by VO2Max; 16-12-15 at 14:15.
 
(Post Link) post #6 of 44 Old 16-12-15 Thread Starter
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Should I give the man at the station who took ten minutes to buy a ticket from the machine because he couldn't figure out a) his destination from a simple a-z list and b) whether he wanted to come back again a break then?

He's currently bound and gagged in my boot. Are you saying I should just wish him a merry Christmas and send him on his way?
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I went to tesco today for lunch (a massive Tesco extra just down the road). Took me about 5 minutes just to find a parking space - this was 1pm on a Wednesday bloody afternoon! It's insanity.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keithyboy View Post
He's currently bound and gagged in my boot. Are you saying I should just wish him a merry Christmas and send him on his way?
Depends on whether or not he's seen your face.

I say you drop him back at the station, take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure
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You all sound as though you need a bath and hug this evening, I'm not volunteering mind! The whole Christmas thing is overdone starting with restaurants and gastro pubs saying book your table for Christmas when it is still August, then people are encouraged to spend money they really don't have and then it is all a bit of a let-down afterwards. No wonder there's stress. But I'm ok, honest.
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I had reason to go physically shopping for the first time in, well, ages cos I needed an iPad right now. What a horrific experience. I wanted to bludgeon to death about one in 10 of the people who crossed my path. People who walk too slowly, people who can't use cash machines, people who ask stupid questions. Thank god for the internet, or I would be doing time by now.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keithyboy View Post
Do you find that at this time of year people go out of their way to get on your t1ts even more than at other times?

It’s not even 2 o’clock yet and I’m fighting the urge to tell people to just **** off out of it. I went out at lunchtime to get some dinner and some fresh air and Manchester is full of people lumbering about like extras from the Walking Dead with no apparent control over the movement of their body or the direction they are walking. It’s just over a week until Christmas day and there are spotty oiks out there trying to get me to change energy supplier. All I want to do is buy a sandwich. My facial expression and general sour demeanour tell you I don’t want a pamphlet from the Jehovah’s witnesses, I don’t want to buy an inflatable dog, I don’t want to sign up for a direct debit with Christian aid, I don’t want to take part in a survey, I don’t want a free sample of moisturiser. I’m hungry and I’m in a hurry.

I go into a shop and buy something. I get to the till and they say “Would you like one of these? Just £5 today?” “**** off” I want to say. The way this works is that I pick the things I want and bring them to the till. You tell me how much it is, I pay, then I **** off with them. If I wanted whatever that is for a fiver, I’d have picked one up wouldn’t I?

I get back to work with a bag containing my dinner. The woman who sits next to me says ”Have you been out choosing a present for your beloved?” An innocent comment but she’s said it every ****ing day for the last month at least. She follows it up with “Diamonds are nice”. Every. Single. ****ing. Day. Then she starts with “What have you got for your dinner?”
“A sandwich”
“where from?”
“Tesco”
“I had a salad”
“I don’t give a ****”
“It wasn’t very nice”
“I don’t give a ****”
“Is yours nice?”
“It would be a sight nicer if you’d let me ****ing eat it”

Whilst I eat my lunch, I take 15 minutes to look at cars on the autotrader website. I have to take a 30 minute lunchbreak (rules is rules) so I spend the remainder of it doing that. Except I can’t, because the woman who sits on the other side of me starts sticking her neb in. “Ooh, that’s nice.”
“Yes it is”
“My ex-husband used to have one of those”
“I don’t give a ****”
“He never liked it”
“Well he’s a ****ing idiot then”
……….
And on it goes until my mobile phone rings. It’s my daughter and, as it’s a personal call, I nip out to the stairwell to afford myself some privacy and so as not to disturb my colleagues. It turns out there’s a small domestic crisis at home (one of my elderly neighbours has had a funny turn in Bolton and can’t remember where he’s left his car. Will I have a scout round later if it isn’t found by then?). It’s a two minute conversation but it doesn’t stop two other people stopping and standing right next to me, whilst I’m talking, and having an incredibly loud conversation about nothing whatsoever.
I return to my desk
“Everything alright?” says one of the nebby twins
“Fine thanks”
“Was that your wife?”
“No”
“Oh.”
Silence
“Do you need to go home?”
“No”
“Oh”
Silence again
I try to convey a message which says “Mind your own ****ing business” without speaking but clearly I’m failing miserably. Anyone with a brain would realise that I’m giving nowt away but she perseveres with more probing questions:
“What time are you leaving?”
“Have you driven in today?”
“Are you doing anything later?”
“Will you be in tomorrow?”
“Have your kids finished school yet?”
I’m sure she’s hoping I’m going to break down in tears and tell her my wife has chucked me out or some such nonsense.

My wife claims that other people don’t think like I do. She says I lack social skills and only talk about cars and football. Other people enjoy a bit of idle chit-chat to pass the time, I should show more of an interest and ask people things. I think this is total horse****.

No need to respond to this, I feel much calmer having written it down.
I take it, that this was all typed up in the tax payers time, with you being a Public sector worker? I've always wondered what all these public sector workers do during the day.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Headgasket14 View Post
I take it, that this was all typed up in the tax payers time, with you being a Public sector worker? I've always wondered what all these public sector workers do during the day.
I bet that'll change his mood

I could rant myself about my Xmas shopping experience over the past two days, shopping for my own presents, (due to the wife being incapacitated) but who's frigging interested?

There is a lot of idiots out there though.

Last edited by Verbout; 16-12-15 at 17:52.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbout View Post
... due to the wife being incapacitated, but who's frigging interested?
I'm interested. Did I miss something?
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I've worked with some nosey people myself...years ago I worked with a right do gooding know it all..always sticking his nose in where it wasn't wanted..anyway he went off to Africa to help the hungry and we never saw him again...i think they ate him
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Paddy OPlastic View Post
I'm interested. Did I miss something?
I meant interested in my rant, not the wife, sorry.
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What gets right on my goat is the 'Merry Christmas' every fecker goes around saying.

Stranger: " Merry Christmas"

Me: " Are you American?"

Stranger: " No"

Me: " Then it's Happy Christmas" (just walk away)
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Ho, Ho, Ho ..........is that acceptable?
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Originally Posted by EauRouge View Post
What gets right on my goat is the 'Merry Christmas' every fecker goes around saying.

Stranger: " Merry Christmas"

Me: " Are you American?"

Stranger: " No"

Me: " Then it's Happy Christmas" (just walk away)
The carol "We wish you a MERRY Christmas dates back to the 16th century.
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I meant interested in my rant, not the wife, sorry.
Oh, well in any case, I wish your missus well.
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@ Keithyboy - excellent observations, sir

kinda related...

although you can find them in any shop anytime of year, at Christmas I reserve a special loathing for the Idiot Family. Easy to spot, they'll be the ones who'll be discussing whether to go to Santa's Grotto first, the cafe, or whether to look for crackers, mince pies, Christmas tree lights or a comfy place for nan to have a little rest. They - all seven of them - will insist on having this prolonged conversation not at home, or in their car or while walking to the shop. Nope; this discussion can only take place right across the entrance/exit to the shop/store. For reasons known only to them, it is very important this conversation inconveniences any one else who simply wants to walk in the store - or indeed out of it, assuming they ever got in in the first place. Having created havoc, the best bit - the absolute best bit! - is when after the discussion, they then decide they didn't want to go into that shop after all, so they turn clumsily around en masse only to hog another store's entrance and repeat the whole damn process.

Merry Christmas.
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We buy presents, not gifts!! Grrrrrr!!!!!
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The carol "We wish you a MERRY Christmas dates back to the 16th century.
What's your point Headgasket? America dates back then also, I understand that the carol was introduced by sea farers from West of England ports and has no British/English accreditation.
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My neighbour's car is still on the missing list despite my best efforts earlier. He has a dodgy ticker, diabetes and a chest infection. His blood sugar is all over the place and, currently, the poor old bugger doesn't know what year it is. A woman found him in Bolton soaked through with no idea where he was and very kindly brought him home. I searched based on his description of where he thought he'd left it with no joy at all. It's only a car ultimately, better to have him home and the car missing.

Neighbours are all on alert in case he decides to go looking for it on the bus.
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