I can't get my rant to work! - Alfa Romeo Forum
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(Post Link) post #1 of 25 Old 14-11-15 Thread Starter
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I can't get my rant to work!

This is a rant about my rant failing.

I wanted to rant about something that some drivers do on petrol station forecourts that drives me batty, and I had just generated enough rage worthy to post something in here of considerable anger and general shoutyness, when I realised a slight flaw in my argument that could be exposed by you lot, which would instantly reduce my rant to nothing more than the mutterings of a half-brained, unthinking moron.

Hence, I am now very cross that my rant has collapsed into an epic fail, so I wanted to rant about that, instead.

Does that count as a rant?

A driver is always faithful to a car that's always faithful to its driver.

Sometimes in the darkest hour, love comes shining through.
Then it doesn't seem so far from me to you.
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Sounds like the mutterings of a half-brained, unthinking moron.
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Originally Posted by 100th_Idiot View Post
Sounds like the mutterings of a half-brained, unthinking moron.
bu55er. Failed again!
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Nothing irritates more than a ill-conceived semi-rant which fizzles out before it forms !
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Nothing irritates more than a ill-conceived semi-rant which fizzles out before it forms !
I can only apologise!

But try and see it from my perspective! Oh, the frustration! It's a bit like just when you think you're going to sneeze and, and, and...oh, nothing.

My rant's one big failed sneeze. Try living with that!
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g...for Heaven's sake, stop fart-arseing around and post up your rant!

There's never been a rant yet that hasn't been liable to picking apart by a reasoned and considered debate by 'concerned onlookers'. But that's not the point, is it? You just need to rant!

Damn it to Hell man, get it off yer chest!
 
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I like the failed-sneeze analogy but for pity sake share it with us. Unless it's a low-rent rant?
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nooooooo, because now I have spotted the flaw, I can't summon up the same level of rage that I had when I started to get angry about it. And the thing is, I got Very Angry about it, and the only thing that stopped me tarring all Evoque drivers - for it was one of them that sparked my fury - with the same brush, was that TT4N drives one, and he's a nice bloke. It was about then, when the rage was on a really volatile roll not unlike Mount Etna letting off steam, that I spotted the flaw. In a nutshell, if I hadn't drawn the link between the Evoque and Nev, I'd still be off the scale angry, and channeling that spitting fury into a rant here that's worthy of the name, flaw unnoticed. Instead, I'm now stuck with an undone sneeze of a rant. And for that, my friends, the fault is, ultimately, Nev's.
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TT4N drives one, and he's a nice bloke.
Call the doctor. Delusional as well.
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nooooooo, because now I have spotted the flaw, I can't summon up the same level of rage that I had when I started to get angry about it. And the thing is, I got Very Angry about it, and the only thing that stopped me tarring all Evoque drivers - for it was one of them that sparked my fury - with the same brush, was that TT4N drives one, and he's a nice bloke. It was about then, when the rage was on a really volatile roll not unlike Mount Etna letting off steam, that I spotted the flaw. In a nutshell, if I hadn't drawn the link between the Evoque and Nev, I'd still be off the scale angry, and channeling that spitting fury into a rant here that's worthy of the name, flaw unnoticed. Instead, I'm now stuck with an undone sneeze of a rant. And for that, my friends, the fault is, ultimately, Nev's.

There are TWO laws of the internet:

1. Never post when you are angry.

2. In a Rant Room, always post when you are angry.

It's kinda what it's there for

Also: Revenge is a dish best served cold. A Rant is a dish best served hot.

Do you get it yet, g?
 
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nooooooo, because now I have spotted the flaw, I can't summon up the same level of rage that I had when I started to get angry about it. And the thing is, I got Very Angry about it, and the only thing that stopped me tarring all Evoque drivers - for it was one of them that sparked my fury - with the same brush, was that TT4N drives one, and he's a nice bloke. It was about then, when the rage was on a really volatile roll not unlike Mount Etna letting off steam, that I spotted the flaw. In a nutshell, if I hadn't drawn the link between the Evoque and Nev, I'd still be off the scale angry, and channeling that spitting fury into a rant here that's worthy of the name, flaw unnoticed. Instead, I'm now stuck with an undone sneeze of a rant. And for that, my friends, the fault is, ultimately, Nev's.

I find BMW drivers to be some of the biggest dicks on the road. I don't care what anyone says, my experience is that a disproportionate number of them drive like arrogant to55ers, they sit up your chuff in the fast lane, never pull over when you're behind them, never indicate and never let you out of a junction. Most other people on the road hate them too.

Now! There are people on here who have driven them, and some of them still do! And I have no doubt that they drive their BMW's just as considerately as I do, my Alfa! I fully recognise that.

So g, what you need to do, is summon up the anger you had - go on, you can do it!! - put your post up, and simply let Nev come on here to explain why he isn't like your average Ewok driver, and how he doesn't do all the really annoying things that most Ewok drivers do. I guarantee he won't take it the wrong way .

Simples!
 
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But I am angry! I'm angry my original rant fizzled out, Max! And the Evoque was just an example of the thing that dorks do in petrol stations that really annoys me. It was unfortunate that, in this case, it was an Evoque driver doing this thing that many other drivers have done, because had I not softened my rampant rage based on that association with Nev, I'd be ranting here big time - chest expanded to the point of shirt buttons popping, no less - about the gormless dorks who pull into petrol stations, and stop barely a car's length at the entrance, dithering over 'oooh, which pump looks quickest?', blindly oblivious to the fact that by not fully entering the petrol station, they have now a) prevented anyone else from entering which has led to b) a queue of traffic forming on the road, which could result in c) someone getting rear ended, because donkey brains is sat there dithering over which fecking pump to pick. FFS, they all knock out the same stuff, so move forward into and onto the bloody forecourt - it's big enough! - and stop causing a traffic problem for the poor people stuck behind wondering why in the name of all that's holy, you can't move forward a bit sodding more.

It was then I spotted my error and ruined my proposed rantagio
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I just refuelled the Multipla on the way back from Waitrose, thus doubling its value, and some affluent lad in his new white Mercedes CLK cabrio stopped on the forecourt in front of me. He then proceeded to use his cigarette lighter powered tyre inflator before fueling his white steed. Luckily I'd found another pump but I could have been waiting ages while he faffed about. The idea of this becoming a rant occurred to me , but as with yours it didn't really get off the ground. Mercedes drivers eh!
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Mercedes drivers eh!
Mark my words - in time, history will prove it was a dark moment when Mercedes stopped engineering cars for customers with discerning taste and started designing them for footballers' wives, instead.
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Last edited by Scudetto; 14-11-15 at 17:12.
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Do excuse my convoluted buildup to the provocation !

There was most certainly what some would call a chronological tipping point in the tastefulness of the Mercedes car. And they haven't looked back. You know what? I reckon that guy at the petrol station has never heard of Bruno Sacco.
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Do excuse my convoluted buildup to the provocation !

There was most certainly what some would call a chronological tipping point in the tastefulness of the Mercedes car.
agree - but there's only so much anger i can deal with in one day!

i want to channel it back into petrol stations being blocked by plonkers
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TT4N drives one, and he's a nice bloke.
You've lost all credibility now, you might as well spill the beans.

EDIT: I see you have spilled the beans now. I see no issue with your proposed rant - people do that, and it is ill considered and annoying, and potentially downright dangerous.
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It was then I spotted my error and ruined my proposed rantagio
FFS G!

Tell us! Stop teasing and just give the whole story!

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You know what? I reckon that guy at the petrol station has never heard of Bruno Sacco.
Yeah well, since he left Man U to play for Crewe Alexander he did kind of drop off the radar.
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Turns out I dislike Evoque drivers too, G.


My parting quip about them being a bunch of whiners over on
EvoqueMoaner.com hasn't gone down too well.



(If I order another pocket SUV next year, I think I'll get a Disco Sport instead
Just so as not to be associated with them. )
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I don't dislike Evoque drivers Nev (i dislike bad drivers, not their cars), but it just happened that it was an Evoque driver who exhibited the driving habit I don't like

Finally...why did my rant fall apart? Because the diesel pump, in this case, was the one closest to the entrance...

Ah.
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Turns out I dislike Evoque drivers too, G.


My parting quip about them being a bunch of whiners over on
EvoqueMoaner.com hasn't gone down too well.



(If I order another pocket SUV next year, I think I'll get a Disco Sport instead
Just so as not to be associated with them. )
Better acclimatise yourself with the configurator on that then?
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Already spec'd an Si4. Is that bad?
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Already spec'd an Si4. Is that bad?
No.







Unless it's another diseasel.
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Si4 is a gasoline engine. You'd know that if you did your homework.
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Ooooooh, cross thread jibber jabber.

Cross thread,
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