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(Post Link) post #1 of 27 Old 07-10-15 Thread Starter
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What's the most ridiculous question you've been asked ?

Sorry, this has definitely got my gander up,

Me.. Yes, I've still got this cough, no, I know it's nothing nasty but my consultant thinks I have some sort of late onset Asthma.

GP ... OK, that's great but have you slept with any sex workers or men in an unprotected way ever?

Where did that come from? After picking myself up, answering no, and laughing to the point where I had to reach for my blue puffer, I asked what the question was for, the young (card matrix reading) GP wanted to check that they could rule out AIDS...

I give up.
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He's just being thorough, no?

Isn't the chem-sex scene causing a lot of health problems in the UK these days?
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(Post Link) post #3 of 27 Old 07-10-15 Thread Starter
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Thorough is one thing when applied with a sprinkling of common sense.

As for the 'tuther... You'll have to ask someone else. All I know is that my blue puffer still works, I haven't been any moobs and don't find myself watching loose women.
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Why is it sex workers or men?

Are women deemed non-carriers? What about your shared needle intravenous drug use, or that dodgy tattoo, or emergency blood transfusion in a Borneo wetland clinic?
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Patients rarely volunteer such information. They could be stood in front of a GP with galloping knob-rot and until asked "Have you dipped it somewhere you should not?" they would quite happily say nowt and leave it to their Doc to fill in the blanks.
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...galloping knob-rot...
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(Post Link) post #7 of 27 Old 07-10-15 Thread Starter
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Why is it sex workers or men?

Are women deemed non-carriers? What about your shared needle intravenous drug use, or that dodgy tattoo, or emergency blood transfusion in a Borneo wetland clinic?
That was it! My two hundred pound a day crack habit, I knew I should have brought that up.

How do you know about my tattoo? That was a long time ago and I still love the Bee Gees.
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Galloping knob rot, thats a horse I had £5 each way on.
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"Have you had an affair"?

yes. it's a recent question .

no i havent.

multiple conversations have ensued.


it's not nice
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Last edited by stan laurel; 07-10-15 at 14:12.
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(Post Link) post #11 of 27 Old 07-10-15 Thread Starter
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This is going to be funny when wine and beer is introduced this evening, I am hoping for some crackers..
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I was asked the same thing when I went to hospital a few weeks ago. Was asked if i'd had multiple sex partners recently (right in front of Laura) or had sex with any sex workers...
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Patients rarely volunteer such information. They could be stood in front of a GP with galloping knob-rot and until asked "Have you dipped it somewhere you should not?" they would quite happily say nowt and leave it to their Doc to fill in the blanks.

Poor 'Dawg....
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(Post Link) post #14 of 27 Old 07-10-15 Thread Starter
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All I want to know is if this is now a question being asked, who were the 112 from 185 people in the survey who said yes and 'oh my God' what have they been up to and ended up with.

In front of your missus is a rough one, that would involve discussions with my better half in the car on the way home...
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Galloping knob rot.
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I don't miss much from the UK but I do miss the classics. I never get chance to use these type of words anymore and if I did I'm not sure how i would explain In Italian. Maybe I try tomorrow at work
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This is going to be funny when wine and beer is introduced this evening, I am hoping for some crackers..
Hope you get some

I like the standards......

Doc...Do you smoke? Do you excercise? Do you eat red meat? Do you drink more than the allowed (fill in the present guesstimate) alcohol units per week?

I can answer no to most of these question and they're stumped, nothing to blame my symptoms on.

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Quote:
Originally Posted by jurdy1 View Post
Sorry, this has definitely got my gander up,

Me.. Yes, I've still got this cough, no, I know it's nothing nasty but my consultant thinks I have some sort of late onset Asthma.

GP ... OK, that's great but have you slept with any sex workers or men in an unprotected way ever?

Where did that come from? After picking myself up, answering no, and laughing to the point where I had to reach for my blue puffer, I asked what the question was for, the young (card matrix reading) GP wanted to check that they could rule out AIDS...

I give up.
You must be easily offended!
Put yourself in the gp's place - a cough or other cold like symptoms are often the first sign of many ailments so you'd want to ask the patient about any circumstances where he/she could have picked up an infection. Gp's well know that many patients are selective in what they volunteer, or may not think something is relevant when it is. There's many a gp who wished they had a crystal ball!
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I don't miss much from the UK but I do miss the classics. I never get chance to use these type of words anymore and if I did I'm not sure how i would explain In Italian. Maybe I try tomorrow at work
Eh? It's your duty to teach people such choice English phrases!

"Spooge" went down a treat here the other month, so-to-speak.
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The questions on a US landing card are pretty stupid.

Have you ever been convicted of genocide?

A cracker that is allegedly on the application form to the Canadian Police:

Do you hear voices in your head?
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(Post Link) post #21 of 27 Old 08-10-15 Thread Starter
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I had a colleague (admittedly not very bright) who managed to scare the living bejesus out of the homeland security guard at JFK when he presented his card... With ALL the boxes ticked 'yes'.. I of course left him there and went straight to my hotel.
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Why would you purposefully try and antagonise
Customs and Border agents?

Shirley if he wanted some rubber-glove/bottom
action he could have waited until he got to
Manhattan ... ?
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(Post Link) post #24 of 27 Old 09-10-15 Thread Starter
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....he didn't do it on purpose...he just didn't follow the instructions. His face and the man with the big moustache's faces were both pictures when the arm went up and he was hauled off to a quiet little room for a chat.
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(Post Link) post #25 of 27 Old 09-10-15 Thread Starter
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....as for playing plug' socket, or being given the glove of love, who only knows. He didn't sit down too gingerly when he arrived at the hotel an hour is so after me.

I can just see the question, so you are carrying fruit, a load of bush meat, far too much cash, your here on business with a criminal record and have taken part in an act of genocide, apologies Mr X but what exactly IS the purpose of your visit to the United States today?
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