Called into Tesco for a few items, wife and grandson in toe. I don't usually like shopping for groceries with these two, they take some looking after, both put things in the trolly I either don't want or need.
We ended up with four items, so the self service till beckoned.
Again, my two companions are a pain when I use these machines. The wife messes with items on the scales while I am scanning and I have to call the supervisor to reset the machine, making me out to be the dumbo. Or more of a dumbo. The grandson wanders off after two minutes, due to boredom, so I have to chase after him while the machine shouts repeatable at me “come back you thieving get”
So, I left the wife to scan, pack and pay, I read the magazines while also watching Paul, the security guy. Paul is a lovely man, too nice to be security. He is 24 stone, 5 foot 6 inches and looks like he eats the shoplifters rather than takes them next door to the cop shop. He's looking at my wife, eying her up as a possible apéritif.
It was all going well until she had scanned the last item and we heard “unexpected item in the baggage area”. This fault cleared. She pressed another button and it again shouted at her.
I could hear her telling the machine that she had only bought four items and they were the only ones on the scales.
I could see different, but she was getting a little angry and could not see the issue.
A supervisor was called and my wife told her the machine was having a moment and was broken.
“Madam” was the reply, “the unexpected item in the baggage areas is your grandson sat on the scales”
Oh dear, I seemed to be the only one laughing.