I agree with you totally; if dealers (in particular) don't learn this, and learn it well, they'll fail. It's not always easy to avoid, but it is vital.
Groupthink. It's so annoying and it afflicts loads of (if not all, to some extent) businesses. Their own paradigm becomes more important than the people that feed them. How many times do you ring a company to be told, for example, that your records are in one place and the person dealing is in another or that "so and so facto means that you have to go out of your way to achieve this and that". Irrelevant - the customer should get service and attention at the point of contact.
Too many businesses think the customer is part of their internal transformation process. Fair enough, if you need to make a margin, or x,y or z database is tough to use, the customer might be able to help you out with that, but not
as part of a conscious dialogue. Change your call routing, change your staff training, change your supply chain, change your cost base - anything but expect customers to get involved with your value chain (other than to pay