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(Post Link) post #1 of 14 Old 11-06-07 Thread Starter
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Parents who "dump" their kids on you

This holiday was the first time I'd experienced this particular phenomenon but I had heard of it before. I just didn't realise how annoying it could be.

Here's the scene. I'm playing with my two year old son in the hotel's toddler play area, there never seemed to be more than two other parent/kid combos in there at any one time so Thomas has the run of the pedal cras and swings

Anyway I strike up a polite conversation with this woman after her noisy, hyper 5 year old belts me in the groin with his toy and my lad starts playing with him. Later she bumps into us on a boat trip "will you watch him while I just pop to the loo?" No problem. 15 minutes later she returns from the top deck (toilets at the other end of the boat), shortly after that she says she just wants a word with her partner upstairs - another 20 minutes. Fuming now I have my hands full with my own thanks. All afternoon this went on. Then back at the hotel, same thing when Thomas was playing in the kids' area - only she sent him in, completely out of her sight.

By the end of their week we were ducking and diving to avoid the cheeky beggars. But with all the worries about little Madie at the mo, surely they'd be more careful?

Have you experienced this or do you do it yourself perhaps and think it is acceptable behaviour?


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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

definatley not acceptable, we had it happen once, never again, this time unless we know them very well and they ask, we just say no sorry, we're off in a minute!

But we had for a time a little girl who kept coming into our back garden (our wall was down but since been rebuilt, very quickly), she asked our two if she could come over and play, they said yes, suddenly this little girl is asking for drinks, food, then asking if she could stay for dinner??? She brings over sweets and drinks, throws the wrappers on the floor and leaves the coke can on the lawn (coke at 7 yrs old!) so we've told her she can't come over any more, harsh I know but when they self invite its quite unpleasant and then asks to be fed, enough is enough. Turns out she lives quite a way from us and she was at family at the time (normally every other weekend).

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Last edited by Andy G; 11-06-07 at 13:06.
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(Post Link) post #3 of 14 Old 11-06-07 Thread Starter
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

They don't know you and you don't know them but they assume that as your tied up looking after your own kid it's not much more trouble for you to keep an eye on theirs while they get a bit of "us time" around the pool or bar or whatever.

I panic if mine is not in direct line of sight of me or Mrs Jim when on holiday - don't know how they can be so selfish.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

Mate, if only I felt comfortable leaving my kids with someone, I would
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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But we had for a time a little girl who kept coming into our back garden (our wall was down but since been rebuilt, very quickly), she asked our two if she could come over and play, they said yes, suddenly this little girl is asking for drinks, food, then asking if she could stay for dinner??? She brings over sweets and drinks, throws the wrappers on the floor and leaves the coke can on the lawn (coke at 7 yrs old!) so we've told her she can't come over any more, harsh I know but when they self invite its quite unpleasant and then asks to be fed, enough is enough. Turns out she lives quite a way from us and she was at family at the time (normally every other weekend).
We had something similar with someone a few doors away, their Son has some problems so we thought we'd be the exception and let him come around....until he refused to be polite, kicked my partners Son in the nuts and laughed; was about to pocket something until spotted and was basically a monster!

Still tries to pop round but we don't let him in!

Anyway, back on topic....never come across the dumping of kids...thankfully!

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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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They don't know you and you don't know them but they assume that as your tied up looking after your own kid it's not much more trouble for you to keep an eye on theirs while they get a bit of "us time" around the pool or bar or whatever.

I panic if mine is not in direct line of sight of me or Mrs Jim when on holiday - don't know how they can be so selfish.
Your last comment sums it up for me. Im always paranoid when im out with my little girl. Fair enough shes only 5, but if we are out she holds my hand and there is no exception to this rule.

Her mother on the other hand lets her just run off... Christ i have near total heart failure if we are somewhere busy and my girl lets go and runs off!

I dont trust anyone this day in age. Id rather be over protective than face a lifetime of anguish because i didnt. For now its ok, but when shes older ill have to re-evaluate it. Thankfully shes very grown up beyond her years so realises the safety aspect and actually holds me hand, rather than the opposing way.

To be honest the hardest bit ive found is the differences between the way myself and her mum do things. Because she lives with her mum and spends every other weekend with me, its always mum says i can or mum lets me. Its taken nearly a year for her to realise that dad has his way, and mum has hers and she follows our ways depending on who she is with!
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(Post Link) post #7 of 14 Old 12-06-07 Thread Starter
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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Mate, if only I felt comfortable leaving my kids with someone, I would
Yes, indeed, on the rare occasions we go out we get my brother and his wife or the out-laws over. These holidaymakers don't even really ask you properly because they know you'd say refuse.

@Alfa156 - sorry you don't get to see more of your daughter but I don't think you are being over-protective. Just careful and taking your responsibilities seriously.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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@Alfa156 - sorry you don't get to see more of your daughter but I don't think you are being over-protective. Just careful and taking your responsibilities seriously.
Thanks mate, but 6 days a month is better than the 3years before where she disappeared and didnt let me see her at all.

Missed her first tooth, first steps, everything. Held her as a baby christmas eve 2001 (she was born 21st Nov, 2001) then the next time i saw her she could talk and walk at 3! - None was my fault, but the guilt and anguish will remain anyway.

Most important is i see my princess again... And we enjoy every second we have as we are very, very close to one another.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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Most important is i see my princess again... And we enjoy every second we have as we are very, very close to one another.
Savour every moment. You clearly appreciate what you have rather than being bitter about what you don't. Nice one.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

All sound pretty awful to me Jim

Certainly wouldn't 'dump' my daughter on anyone. Without sounding judgemental it sounds like they hadn't really thought Parent Hood through and are unwilling to accept that by having kids time is no-longer your own.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

In Portugal last October a German family "dumped" their 7 year old daughter on us. They used to sit around the main pool & bar area at the hotel with their elder daughter, leaving their younger daughter the other side of the hotel in the kiddies' pool all day, rarely turning up to check on her. Luckily she was a lovely kid and she was great with my little girl who was only 2 at the time so we didn't mind, we even ended up buying her lunch one day as her parents obviously couldn't be bothered to come and find her

I bet it's not like that on the Algarve now

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(Post Link) post #12 of 14 Old 16-06-07 Thread Starter
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

Al, that's exactly the scenario I was ranting about.

1. It assumes you will just take on the responsibility for looking after their off-spring without so much a s aplease or thank you.

2. They want to get on with enjoying their holiday so don't bother checking on the kid, let alone keeping an eye on them.

It doesn't matter if it is a nice kid.
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

never happened to me...sounds like a nightmare...
 
(Post Link) post #14 of 14 Old 16-06-07 Thread Starter
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Re: Parents who "dump" their kids on you

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never happened to me...sounds like a nightmare...
I wouldn't say it was a nightmare; but it was extremely irritating because (to us at least) it seems so fundamentally "wrong".
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