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(Post Link) post #1 of 20 Old 01-11-08 Thread Starter
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Queues

Sort of a follow on from the ATM rant, but here goes. Whenever, and wherever, I have to queue I always end up in the slowest one. Supermarkets, for example. Every till can be 3 people deep, but I spy at the end of the ailse a till with one person on it.

Great, I think, so I load my shopping on the belt only to find that the person being served has forgot to pick up some cous-cous, so a call goes out and some cous-cous is collected for them, but then it's not the right cous-cous. It has to have been farmed by rainforest alliance, fairtrade yaks, fed on organic dandelions, so off they go again. Then when told the total amount they realise they have eleventeen coupons for the items so spend 5 minutes searching their purse and hand them over, but the cashier is new and doesn't know how to do coupons, especially after the product has already been scanned, so out goes the call for the duty manager. He's obviously having a dump and then a celebratory cup of tea because he takes 10 minutes to come.

After faffing for a few minutes, the cashier informs the customer of the new total, at which point she has to go digging around in her bag again for her purse, as if it took her completely by surprise that she was going to have to pay for the groceries. Of course, once she's got her card out it takes her a couple of minutes to get her shaking arthritic hand steady enough to insert her card. Then she's forgot her pin. Then she remembers her pin. Then she's taken so long the machine has aborted and needs to be started again. Having finally paid she has to put her card back in exactly the right slot in her purse and purse in her bag and only then it dawns upon her that she has to put her bags in the trolley.

By now, 25 minutes later stood with a loaf of bread in my hand I'm ready to stab her in the face and steal her groceries. Honestly, what's with the world?

It doesn't stop there. I went to my local Shell garage and every pump, bar one, was 2 deep. So I pulled up behind the solitary Astra as an Oriental chap got out. He tried to open the fuel filler to no avail, before finally realising the release was inside the car. Cap now open he lifts the filler up puts it in the car and nothing happens. He obviously doesn't realise that you have to wait for the pump to be switched on as he promptly replaces the nozzle, goes inside and queues in the line (10 deep with only 1 non-english speaking Polish girl on the counter). Through the window, I have to say, it looked like an hilarious conversation between the 2 of them as, after queueing for 10 mintues to get to the front, he tried to describe his predicament in broken English to a girl who couldn't speak it anyway. 5 minutes of arm-waving later, and with my p!55 boiling like like an old tin kettle, he comes back out and tries again, forgetting that the release is inside the car. Finally, he's put £10 of petrol in and goes back into the kiosk. Only now does he decide he wants some fcuking sweets!!! For the love of God, I just want some fuel.

Surely, I'm not the only person that finds this. Is it some cruel trick of fate that my life is designed to be blighted by retards?
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Re: Queues

You are not alone. This seems to happen to me to.

I am off shoping in a short while I will bear this post in mind and report back.
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Re: Queues

......... ya got to laugh BrewsterGT........ i know what ya mean... at the time ya think your going to die before you finish the shopping......... but it's funny reading your rant....
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Re: Queues

I with you!
All type of stuff in my local co-op they then want lottery,then gas and electricity and then top their phones up!
Then my favorite is during all this time they have struck up a conversation with the sales assistant which they have finish and just stand there talking away!
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Re: Queues

I kid on I have Teurettes that usually clears a path to the front of the queue for me
 
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Re: Queues

It's a fact of life that states that whichever queue you pick will be the one that moves the slowest, applies to everything.

I can recommend shopping very early in the morning, no queues whatever, all you have to do is dodge the shelf stackers. These can however be useful, if you can't find what you want just look to where the big trollies are blocking the shelves........the item you are looking for will be there. You wont be able to get at it but at least you'll know where to look next time, so long as your memory is better than mine that is.
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Re: Queues

I was in the Hospital a few weeks ago and the costa coffe stall had 2 people working
1 person taking orders and making drinks etc and 1 person manning (womaning actually) the till.
The queue was long and slow moving. after 20-25 min i got to the woman taking orders and asked for a Tea and a coffee, had the usual conversation about what type of coffee " just a normal coffee with milk please"

At this point the man in front of me was having a heated conversation about being overcharges 23p for his £8odd order . this went on for about 5 mins and eventually coffee making woman was dragged in to help tilll woman.

price lists were consulted ,the till reciept was scrtinised but still they were at odds.
the queue was getting longer and i just wanted to pay for my cup of tea and cup of normal coffee with milk but the discussion raged and there was much gnashing of teeth and sighing coming from the growing queue.
eventually i asked " can i just pay for my coffee ,i have the right money" I was ignored by both till woman and coffee making woman. Eventually i atracted the attention of the man disputing his bill, gave him 50p and told him to "**** off and let the rest of us get served"

He looked at me a bit funny at first but eventually he laughed and went off with his purchases.

both till woman and coffee making woman looked at me with pursed lips as i paid for my coffee and went on my way
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Re: Queues

I hate it in the super market queue when you've
put all your stuff on the belt and the person behind
picks up that "Next Customer" divider and starts to mash
all your shopping with it, to try and give themselves
that extra couple of inches of check-out belt room.


IF YOU WAIT 5 SECONDS THE "EXTRA" BELT SPACE WILL COME
OUT OF THAT SLOT AT THE BACK !!!



FFS!
 
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Re: Queues

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nev View Post
I hate it in the super market queue when you've
put all your stuff on the belt and the person behind
picks up that "Next Customer" divider and starts to mash
all your shopping with it, to try and give themselves
that extra couple of inches of check-out belt room.


IF YOU WAIT 5 SECONDS THE "EXTRA" BELT SPACE WILL COME
OUT OF THAT SLOT AT THE BACK !!!



FFS!
 
(Post Link) post #10 of 20 Old 01-11-08 Thread Starter
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Re: Queues

I forgot to add in the petrol station experience that when the person gets back in their car why do they have to root around in the glove box, suddenly forget how to select 1st gear, adjust all their mirrors and generally take 5 minutes to set off?!?!

It's not like your fcuking mirrors have moved since you filled the tank. Argggh.
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Re: Queues

Some great rants so far!! And you always ALWAYS get stuck in a queue when you're in a rush!! Or 'line' as the Americans call them!! There is another opportunity for a rant there!! ITS ALUMINIUM NOT ALLLUUUUMINUUUUM.

Anyway, my little trick with choosing the right queue is when there are a few of you waiting to pay for somethings, generally partner and sisters or parents. You each get into a seperate gueue and whoever gets served fastest you all run over and go to that checkout!! Works wonders in fast food places like MacDonalds at busy times!
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Re: Queues

Quote:
Originally Posted by thedrew85 View Post
There is another opportunity for a rant there!! ITS ALUMINIUM NOT ALLLUUUUMINUUUUM.

!
Its Aluminum to the Ferenghis :borg:

 
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Re: Queues

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrewsterGT View Post
I forgot to add in the petrol station experience that when the person gets back in their car why do they have to root around in the glove box, suddenly forget how to select 1st gear, adjust all their mirrors and generally take 5 minutes to set off?!?!

It's not like your fcuking mirrors have moved since you filled the tank. Argggh.
The ones I hate at the petrol station are those in front of me in the queue who not only have to apy for their petrol, but they want to do a weeks worth of shopping as well.

and just as they're about to put their card in the chip and pin machine so they can pay for their 3 baskets of groceries, they decide they want a coffee too. Oh and a pastry, but they can't decide what pastry to have, the apple danish? or maybe the pain au chocolate?





JUST PAY FOR YOUR SMEGGING PETROL AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT
 
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Re: Queues

Quote:
Originally Posted by HSTDriver View Post
The ones I hate at the petrol station are those in front of me in the queue who not only have to apy for their petrol, but they want to do a weeks worth of shopping as well.

and just as they're about to put their card in the chip and pin machine so they can pay for their 3 baskets of groceries, they decide they want a coffee too. Oh and a pastry, but they can't decide what pastry to have, the apple danish? or maybe the pain au chocolate?





JUST PAY FOR YOUR SMEGGING PETROL AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT
That really annoys me too.
I avoid certain petrol stations because of this.
I find Tesco express, and the BP stations combined with the Spar shop are almost as bad.

They should have seperate lanes for Just Fuel, and Fuel+Groceries.
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Re: Queues

It's simple ... all you need to do is pick the queue with the hottest looking cashier, then you don't mind waiting ...
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Re: Queues

Quote:
Originally Posted by 156Chris View Post
It's simple ... all you need to do is pick the queue with the hottest looking cashier, then you don't mind waiting ...
**** it i must be getting old. I have recently taken to choosing the middle aged checkout girls as i have a theory they are faster
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Re: Queues

I had this at the weekend. Picked the til with the young trainee that can't run alcohol through himself and the woman in front had a bottle of gin. Obviously he cannot leave the til and has push a button to alert the manager, who is obviously not paying any attention. By the time I got served the chap at the end of the massive queue at the next till was paying up and walking away
 
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Re: Queues

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Originally Posted by rodz1300 View Post
**** it i must be getting old. I have recently taken to choosing the middle aged checkout girls as i have a theory they are faster










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Re: Queues

The amount of times that I've dumped shopping at the till 'cos the people serving are too interested in sorting out hangers or "twirling their hair" on the phone.
Feels good to dump a couple of hundred quids worth of clothes and then tell the manager why as you walk out the door
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Re: Queues

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Originally Posted by Alfamack View Post
The amount of times that I've dumped shopping at the till 'cos the people serving are too interested in sorting out hangers or "twirling their hair" on the phone.
Feels good to dump a couple of hundred quids worth of clothes and then tell the manager why as you walk out the door
... and then go back in the next day to buy it anyway because you needed it, hoping that no-one will recognise you from the previous day ...
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