AO Platinum Member
Join Date: May 2013
County: Phnom Penh
Or rather the people who frequent them.
I know Nev will say that all UK coffee shops basically sell dogsí eggs dissolved in hot water with milk anyway but thatís beside the point.
First point, you bought a cup of coffee for £2.30, you did not hire out a table for the rest of the ****ing day. It is not your mini office to set up with papers, your laptop and a host of other crap. If you want a desk for the entire day go in the public library, they have loads and itís much quieter.
Following on from that, if you really do have to make that important call about bizniss, because youíre really important, might I suggest that Costa Coffee opposite the town hall at dinnertime is not the place? If the call really is that important and confidential, Iím not sure that shouting 90% of the conversation then whispering the bits about money and names really fits with the whole commercial-in-confidence thing.
Thirdly, if thereís a queue, decide what you want before you get to the front of it. You only used to find these people in Chinese chip shops staring blankly at the menu for 15 minutes before weighing up the options and deciding that rather than a 33, 2 27s and a 19 with egg fried rice, they just want pie and chips. These days theyíve gone all cosmopolitan so you find them everywhere. Itís basically just coffee or coffee with **** in it. There arenít that many choices, just bloody get on with it. You know full well that you have the same thing every single time so why the pretence?
Fourthly, having purchased your tasty warm beverage (or that cold **** that makes me want to vomit), by all means find a seat. However, if thereís one of you, and the shop is empty because itís 11.45, donít occupy a table for 5 or 6. In 20 minutes itíll be mobbed and if someone comes in with 3 kids and occupies the rest of your table because there are 8 tables that occupy more than 2 people and each one has a single person at it, youíll only sit there pulling your face and tutting.
Fifthly, if you come into the shop and sit next to me at the window counter thing, donít buy anything, and sit there banging your deeply naff black onyx £15.99 Argos pinkie ring on the counter as you talk about bizniss and golf on your phone. And if, when I get up to leave, you attempt to slide my empty cup in front of you to make it look like you bought something, I may possibly use industrial language and hand gestures whilst removing said cup from you.
In fact, if absolutely everyone could avoid using the costa coffee opposite the town hall on Tuesdays and the odd Friday between 12pm and 1pm, that would be the best solution all round.
Auto Express - six issues for a quid. Offer must end soon (and then immediately start up again).
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