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(Post Link) post #1 of 27 Old 15-12-17 Thread Starter
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Boxing Tasting Notes

I love whisky.
I really like red wine.

I can't ****ing stand pompous up-there-own-'arris
tasting notes.

"Candy knecklaces" ?!

F*** off.
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Peaty tones.
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Tasting notes are often good for a laugh - especially after a glass or three

Not a patch on the ludicrous names for paint colours from up-market brands though.

(Mole's Breath, Salon Drab, Mouse's Back, Elephant's Breath!! etc. etc. )
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And Here's Jilly with aftertones of badgers arse crack.
5V5M_H.jpg
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Keith's tasting notes:

I like that.

I don't like that.

Any further analysis is just pointless.
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(Post Link) post #6 of 27 Old 15-12-17 Thread Starter
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Fragrant dangleberry with a hint of arsegrape?
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We had a group of real ale drinkers come into our local Sam Smiths pub armed with little black books.

They were taking notes of specific gravity and asking the barmaid questions about the brew.

They picked on the wrong lady to ask, a roll of the eyes told them everything they wanted to know.

I wouldn’t have thought a Sam Smiths pub would warrant a real ale visit.
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I didn't know the dire Bond theme warbler
had his own chain of pubs.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGrimJeeper View Post
I didn't know the dire Bond theme warbler
had his own chain of pubs.
Every days a school day.
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I'm partial to a spot of plonk and it is useful to have a description of what you can expect in a bottle before buying it. Round, fruity, tannin, lemon, blackberry, sharp, mellow, etc.
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(Post Link) post #11 of 27 Old 16-12-17 Thread Starter
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Tagnuts with a hint of toasted pubes and dog eggs.
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Band-aid is one of my favourite wine descriptions. I've seen that one more than once.
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Quote:
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Band-aid is one of my favourite wine descriptions. I've seen that one more than once.
Used?
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Somehow that's never quite specified in the reviews I read. I do keep waiting for "taste of dried, blood-soaked Band-Aid" just to liven the reviews up a bit. After reading review after review of "dark-berry flavoured" and "astringent tannins" some weird descriptions help break up the monotony.

In case an example is needed, here the first two hits I get for Band-Aid.
Quote:
Vanilla, toffee, wood spice and Band-Aid aromas are out in front of herb are red fruit. The palate is lighter in style, mixing equal part fruit and barrel, finishing tart.
Ambassador Vineyard 2014 Plenipotentiary Estate Grown Syrah (Red Mountain) Rating and Review | Wine Enthusiast Magazine
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Often, these are sour notes as well as barnyard, Band-Aid, animal or earthy characteristics.
(Barnyard is another good one that I come across frequently. )
7 Fruity Beers to Drink this Season | Wine Enthusiast Magazine
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(Post Link) post #15 of 27 Old 19-12-17 Thread Starter
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Barnyard? Sheesh.
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(Post Link) post #16 of 27 Old 19-12-17 Thread Starter
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"Nutty" has me ROTFL because since Austin Powers it.s a term
we use to describe anything that tastes like s***.
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You people need to drink better wine.
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Then there's the distinction between good leather (say saddle leather) and something of lesser quality like belt leather. (I don't think I've read shoe leather yet, but give it time.)
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Here's a new one: "a freshly dug mud-pit minerality on the nose."

And, no I'm not making that up.
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(Post Link) post #20 of 27 Old 01-01-18 Thread Starter
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There's mud in your eye!
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Quote:
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Barnyard? Sheesh.
Tastes of owl and mouse droppings I suspect, and smells like horse and cow **** ??
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These tasting notes never mention the real flavour, which is peasant's feet.
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I lost my sense of smell some years ago so nothing really tastes of anything - so I go by ABV - the more the merrier.
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(Post Link) post #24 of 27 Old 06-01-18 Thread Starter
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