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Loud know it alls...

...in public places.

I'm in a really nice restaurant with a gob sh1te on the next table.

He's about 70 years old and preaching to a table of six and his advice is heard by all in the restaurant.

He is talking to a young female doctor who is going to work abroad.

He has advised her who invented the stethoscope, what to do in Doha, rent a bike apparently, what most computer acronyms stand for, i.e. VOIP, IBM, ASCII, what blood pressure reading you really need to worry about and his opinion on MRSA.

Mrs. V wants a pud, so I'm here for quite a while, I've had enough, I wish they shove some food in his gob. If he chokes it's up to the Doc, I'm recusing myself.
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Ah. You mean "The English".

Plenty around here.
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Remember 'allo 'allo and order the cheese board for dessert
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(Post Link) post #4 of 21 Old 30-07-17 Thread Starter
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The cheeseboard does look lovely, £13

But I would have a weapon.
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My humour is restored, Mrs. V can't get out of the disabled toilet, the lock is jammed.

Lazy madam could be bothered to go down a flight of stairs to the "normal" bogs.

Mr Gob is now singing his advice to his guests.
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For £13 you should get to keep the board and the knife.

You could just flick grapes at him.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keithy View Post
For £13 you should get to keep the board and the knife.

You could just flick grapes at him.
The mingebaggery is strong in this one.
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Has he chocked to death on a profiterole gone yet?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Verbout View Post

Mr Gob is now singing his advice to his guests.
What, really? Singing? Sounds like a right bell end...

I was once in a restaurant, and a bloke on the next table said to the waitress in his best John Major, "I'll have the William"

Waitress, suitably unimpressed, "you wot?"

"The bill, dear, the BILL!," whilst his adoring dentally challenged companion of the moose persuasion chuckled along.

Waitress goes off, and she made sure she said, "******" just loud enough for everyone.
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I didn't realise that word wasn't allowed.

It's not that bad. Sounds like...er...bosser.

He was though.
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"Douchebag" isn't censored.
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Boxing

Tösser is allowed.

Didn't realise I'd put that stoopid punchy smilie in either....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keithy View Post
Has he chocked to death on a profiterole gone yet?
I left as he started singing his advice/opinions, I retired to the downstairs bar to watch England ladies beat the French.

And they're playing old Motown in the background. :bliss:

Last edited by Verbout; 30-07-17 at 20:54.
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"Douchebag" isn't censored.
Nor, I guess, will, espece de salaud...
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Originally Posted by Harvo View Post
Tösser is allowed.

Didn't realise I'd put that stoopid punchy smilie in either....
Ah yes - well played... random!
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I retired to the downstairs bar to watch England ladies beat the French.
You were at some kind of weird S&M club?
Kinky.
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(Post Link) post #17 of 21 Old 31-07-17 Thread Starter
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No, that's Wednesdays treat.
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I like to go there too. Lovely cafe (millionaires shortbread is nice) and the food store is second to none.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Harvo View Post
Tösser is allowed.

Didn't realise I'd put that stoopid punchy smilie in either....
It wasn't allowed when I had my ****** of the week thread (which I usually awarded to myself).
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---> ö

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Instead of Tösser you could use BG.....

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