Yes, I have decided I am taking it on.
I'm only quite a young person. However I do recall the time when one of the most popular forms of communication were places/things like usenets and newsfeeds. The Internet was a little disparate then, no such thing as YouTube or Facebook. Google was in its infancy, and was throwing up searches more akin to what Bing throws up now... completely irrelevant items.
I am happy with the Internet as a resource, but it seems to be evolving into some form of click-bait monster.
You scroll around on the internet, and it is completely chocker with "'n' things that could make you 'x'". It seems to have been taken over by some form of click-bait demon. On the BBC homepage for example, there are no less than three of these examples:
- Five surprising reasons why we could run out of sand
- Seven top tips for scooter safety
- 17 date night dinners that are delicious and healthy
These lists infest the Internet, and are absolutely infuriating. I try to avoid them. They are clearly made for mobile users. In this format, places like Forbes have gone from a respectable business magazine, to an idiotic place full of lists. You have to click through... Every. Single. F******. Page.
I realise in the age of Internet traffic and ad-baiting that there is a need to increase the number of clicks. But really. 50 pages of the worlds greatest cars, on 50 different pages, with 50 different sets of adverts on rotation. This seemed to only affect diabolical car websites, like MSN Cars
, or such. Now they are everywhere. You become genuinely interested in what the 4 greatest sounding 4-pot engines are. Half an hour later, and because you aren't like Adam and Diamond down the road with a 50 inch OLED-XTCLT Quantum-Dot Curved TV, with the £120 a month 600 GB Broadband Sky package, you are punished by having to wait for hours for HTML5 to load some absolute rubbish, or poorly-scripted Shockwave adverts to crash the laptop. ****** off!
Next minute, it starts. Yep, it's the video that for some reason has pinned itself to the top of your screen, only the buttons to pause it cannot be used, because they haven't loaded yet. If ytou are on mobile, you quickly realise that the close button is the size of a gnats d***, and that merely looking at it will open the home page of the @sshole who is about to appear, let alone letting your phat phinger go near it... A barrage of absolutely patronising dogschit is spewed at you by some idiotic teenage YouTube Vlogger, who hasn't left his bedroom in ten days. They catch you out too on YouTube. You can be innocently listening to an album, trying to decide if it's worth buying, and you forget to turn autoplay off. It happens... that
f***ing advert! Back comes a friend of the previous spotty 'erbert with a voice that puts you on the edge of insanity. Why is it also 10 times louder than what I was listening to?!
"I'm going to show you how to make the perfect Liberal Quinoa cake! Dont go..."... as you see the "Skip ad" appear, you jump at it. Your reactions have become heightened to that of a 16 year old again, in the face of listening to the first 5 seconds the over-lit, patronising douchebag on your screen. But it's not five. It feels like 6. And the last second is sooooooo long!
The 'Skip Ad' icon disappears, as your nerves collapse in desperation of it disappearing forever, and you have to listen to patronising t**tface for another 2 seconds while you replan your approach!
*click* and the screen is closed. But the sound doesn't quite seem to follow as fast as the screen. The extra 0.6 seconds of the f***er blasts through the audio. F***!
Behind the screen, is the reason you got fed up and went to see if that album is worth listening to. Oh yeah! It's the self-opinionated *******s on the BBC, dragging you into non-stories. The latest habit is writing articles that are not articles, they are rhetorical questions. Or research pieces no one cares about. For example:
- Is talking to strangers the answer to our problems?
- Is there a future for three-way marriages?
- Six reasons why...
- Eight emotional pieces of music that might make you cry...
Internet! It's time to end!