If your face don't fit.... - Alfa Romeo Forum
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Mrs Vantastic
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If your face don't fit....

.... In many aspects of my life at the moment I'm a victim of the fact my face just don't fit.
I know this happens to lots of people, almost everyone, at some time or another in their life.
The positive point of this is that I am a member of a "Speak your Mind Forum" and can at least vent my frustrations there.

I have curtailed my involvement in another major forum due to a clique of members who make it their main goal to ostracise other paying members.

My point being, should we the ostracised drag ourselves down to clique level to be accepted, or should we carry on being individual and unique?

Your answers below please, don't bother with a postcard
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Be individual. I used to make myself be like others just to fit it, and it put me towards depression. Now I just be who I am and I'm proud of that. If someone doesn't like me, that is their issuue not mine
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paintergirl
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Do you really think that there are cliques here?

I've always found everyone fairly easy-going although, as a relative newbie, I initially found the established friendships daunting.
 
HSTDriver
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Re: If your face don't fit....

There are cliques in most forums, including Alfaowner. It's certainly not as bad as some, but it's definately there.

And there's some non offensive things that they won't let you say here
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

I dont worry too much, like me hate me loath me, matters to me not a lot
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

I hear and understand what you mean
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Just to clarify, you are talking about AO here aren't you?

Yeah its a bit cliquey but its not the end of the world. All forums go this way and what can you do, ban the clique members for being cliquey?
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pud237 View Post
what can you do, ban the clique members for being cliquey?
Well now you mention it....



 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

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Mrs Vantastic
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Re: If your face don't fit....

TBH I'm on about life in general not just this forum although as I mentioned I have restricted my posts on another major forum due to a clique of members who get away with murder.

I drove away from a meeting a few weeks ago in tears, berating myself for attempting to be something I'm not just to get on in life. Needless to say I wiped the make up off my face, took off the suit, brushed the hairspray from my barnet and returned to the real world.

Last edited by Mrs Vantastic; 28-02-08 at 21:19.
 
Nev
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Do people really feel ostracised on here?
I know I recently took a break, but i'd
wouldn't say I'd been ostracised...
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Guess I just enjoy being a little bit of a rebel, so if they don't want to accept me, for what I am, rather than that they think I should be,It's 'Sup' to them. I know the ones I am accepted by, so they make up for the others that avoid me.:
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Ooooooh i'd loved to be ostracised... just to feel them leather ladenhosen next to me skin makes me wanna climb every mountain and a do ray me lah fah
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Re: If your face don't fit....

just be yourself - if that makes you part of a clique or a renegade individual then so be it, it doesn't really matter what other people think of you at the end of the day. you'll still be you.
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hammy156 View Post
Be individual. I used to make myself be like others just to fit it, and it put me towards depression. Now I just be who I am and I'm proud of that. If someone doesn't like me, that is their issuue not mine
What he said, it's a good attitude to have.

Knowing, loving and enjoying you in your own skin is key to having a happy existance.

If other folk don't like it, screw em
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Re: If your face don't fit....

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Re: If your face don't fit....

AO does have a group that could come across as a clique but there are several hundred in it and they welcome new members as long as they are as daft as a brush and don't take life too seriously

As Mrs Vantastic says though other forums can be quite hostile at times and not worthy of any support. Let them wallow in their self importance.Leave them to it is the right choice,just be yourself.
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Anyway Mrs.V you have those lovely felines to console you, and get life in perspective.: Good Chap, has a strong character, had he of applied himself more thoroughly, Blah! Blah! Why so? Like the way I've played it, better to know ones enemies, rather than guess at who's a friend, as I've 'oft repeated.:
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Mrs Vantastic
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Quote:
Originally Posted by zulu ferret View Post
Anyway Mrs.V you have those lovely felines to console you, and get life in perspective.: Good Chap, has a strong character, had he of applied himself more thoroughly, Blah! Blah! Why so? Like the way I've played it, better to know ones enemies, rather than guess at who's a friend, as I've 'oft repeated.:
Well yeah ZF, I drove home vowing to be myself, if I didn't get a 2nd interview I was going to dye my hair a shocking colour and live life to the full, needless to say, no 2nd interview so I have appointment at hairdresser on 12th March.
I couldn't just say what these people wanted to hear, I have principles and my own mind, I am not their puppet, neither am I a number, I am Mrs Vantastic and will do what the beep I beeping want to.
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

no no no, let it out, the forum has filters but you'll have still written it
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snowangel
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Re: If your face don't fit....

well said.Be yourself. i am. i am me, i used to try to fit in with different groups, being different people on different days. ive since learnt to stuff that and YES i dyed my hair pink, very bright pink and went into work. didnt go down well but didnt stop me doing my job. i was still me at the end of the day.
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

You can do all you want to try and fit into a group, clique, call it what you want. But at the end of the day, one thing remains and that is deep down you are you. You will never be anything else. Accept that, and you are on your way!!
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Mrs V you are spot on the face don't fit is a realism as you get older I have experienced it at work and at hobbies and to a degree you get it on AO as well but its only because they don't know you and when you get chatting i have found everyone as mad as houses on here with the exception of one or two that have had a sense of humour lobotomy but generally a great place to belong to if thats the right way to put it. Like the song says dont go changing to try and please me....

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Darren156
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Re: If your face don't fit....

When I first joined AO I was welcomed fully by mostly everyone and got on with mostly everyone. I did however find the place a little cliquey amongst some long standing members, which is fair enough as they have known each other for quite a while etc.

I made it my goal to speak with and get on with everyone, or at least try to anyway, but sadly the same has happened to me turning me into The Clique Meister General,

I think that when you throw yourself into a forum for the first time you are drawn to fellow members who have also just joined and have yet found a clique to join. It also helps if they have the same car as you,

Some of my forum mates include Hammy156, Magicsy, Pud237, Jason156 etc and I tend to flock around them more than I would newer members due to the fact I know them, know that I like them, and know how to communicate with them etc.

However, saying that, it does not mean that I try to ostracize any members of the forum. It just means that I hang around with certain members I've known for a while.

But isn't that life?

I mean, in the past I've felt pretty ostracized by a couple of long standing members right here on AO, but I think you just have to forget about it and remember who your forum friends are.

There are people in life, such as the ones you speak of, who find it 'fun' to attempt to oust certain members of a forum and, as you say, ostracize them in an annoyingly cliquey fashion.

In all honesty though, with that type of person you just gotta say 'Ya know what? Screw you.' and get on with your life and ignore them because at the end of the day they aren't worth it.
 
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Re: If your face don't fit....

Well said Darren
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