I'm not sure if this is a rant or a question, but I suspect it's a bit of both.
So, I live alone, waking each day grateful that I have my health, my family, two arms and two legs. Anything else that that's good that happens is a terrific bonus. I like my job; I work hard because my 'rents worked hard and drilled into me a work ethic. My mates are ace but my parents, my sister, niece and gran are the people that really matter to me the most. I don't have a particularly decadent life (not anymore) and I keep my nose clean. I don't have much in terms of stuff, but that's never been either here nor there for me. As simple as my life is, fundamentally, I'm as happy as a kid in a sweet shop who's just found an additional pound in his pocket to spend.
So, imagine my surprise when at last year's Christmas party, a local resident laid into me, criticising my professional life ('you should be in London earning a fortune'); my personal life ('you're being exceptionally selfish not sharing your life'); my no-great-rush-to-dive-in-again-and-get-hurt approach to partners ('you must be emotionally barren without one'). I fought my corner, containing my rising rage (this is our Chrimbo party, for Goodness sake! I'm here to have fun!) against each volley she shot. I explained to her - I don't like London. I love the peaceful village where I live. I don't want to earn a fortune. I don't need the prestige of a grand title (ironically, I have one, but it makes me cringe so I don't even use it). I don't want to party party party every night. I don't need the trappings of success. I am as happy as I need to be.
And you know, this is what I just don't get. At what point do other people get off on telling you how to live your life? It's mine. My life. My decisions. My highs. My lows. My mistakes when made. No one has the right to say what's right for me. I know what I like. I'm living to my expectations, realising my dreams and goals however humble they might be in the eyes of others.
Furthermore, do I ever ***** about my life in a way to trigger her advice? Never. I have no reason to. So why the lecture? I would say that this was a pretty sustained attack, and totally unwarranted. It's been chewing at me since December but I didn't say anything. Why would someone do this? Why would they say these negative things? And the more I look at my life, my little set up on planet earth, the more strongly I feel about remaining true to me, and not succumbing to their expectations. Because that's what matters, isn't it? Being true to yourself.
And so that made me wonder...just whose misery are we really dealing with here? Mine? Or hers?
Like I said, I'm not sure if this was a rant or what, and I'm sorry if it sounded indulgent. But I was ****ed off by this. So maybe it is a rant.
Never mind - I'm off to Spain in two weeks to see my folks again