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(Post Link) post #1 of 38 Old 17-01-08 Thread Starter
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Single people. And the advice they some times get...

I'm not sure if this is a rant or a question, but I suspect it's a bit of both.

So, I live alone, waking each day grateful that I have my health, my family, two arms and two legs. Anything else that that's good that happens is a terrific bonus. I like my job; I work hard because my 'rents worked hard and drilled into me a work ethic. My mates are ace but my parents, my sister, niece and gran are the people that really matter to me the most. I don't have a particularly decadent life (not anymore) and I keep my nose clean. I don't have much in terms of stuff, but that's never been either here nor there for me. As simple as my life is, fundamentally, I'm as happy as a kid in a sweet shop who's just found an additional pound in his pocket to spend.

So, imagine my surprise when at last year's Christmas party, a local resident laid into me, criticising my professional life ('you should be in London earning a fortune'); my personal life ('you're being exceptionally selfish not sharing your life'); my no-great-rush-to-dive-in-again-and-get-hurt approach to partners ('you must be emotionally barren without one'). I fought my corner, containing my rising rage (this is our Chrimbo party, for Goodness sake! I'm here to have fun!) against each volley she shot. I explained to her - I don't like London. I love the peaceful village where I live. I don't want to earn a fortune. I don't need the prestige of a grand title (ironically, I have one, but it makes me cringe so I don't even use it). I don't want to party party party every night. I don't need the trappings of success. I am as happy as I need to be.

And you know, this is what I just don't get. At what point do other people get off on telling you how to live your life? It's mine. My life. My decisions. My highs. My lows. My mistakes when made. No one has the right to say what's right for me. I know what I like. I'm living to my expectations, realising my dreams and goals however humble they might be in the eyes of others.

Furthermore, do I ever ***** about my life in a way to trigger her advice? Never. I have no reason to. So why the lecture? I would say that this was a pretty sustained attack, and totally unwarranted. It's been chewing at me since December but I didn't say anything. Why would someone do this? Why would they say these negative things? And the more I look at my life, my little set up on planet earth, the more strongly I feel about remaining true to me, and not succumbing to their expectations. Because that's what matters, isn't it? Being true to yourself.

And so that made me wonder...just whose misery are we really dealing with here? Mine? Or hers?

Like I said, I'm not sure if this was a rant or what, and I'm sorry if it sounded indulgent. But I was ****ed off by this. So maybe it is a rant.

Never mind - I'm off to Spain in two weeks to see my folks again

g

A driver is always faithful to a car that's always faithful to its driver.

Sometimes in the darkest hour, love comes shining through.
Then it doesn't seem so far from me to you.

Last edited by Scudetto; 17-01-08 at 20:04.
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

People critiscise because your contentment threatens them, makes them realise how unhappy they actually are, so they lash out.

Pity them.
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Next year lock her in a room and throw away the key!
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Quite an extraordinary thing to happen, g.

I'm not qualified to judge anybody but it would cheese me off considerably too at the time and rankle for ages afterwards.

If you like who you are, then sod her.
 
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Colinjb's advice sounds pretty spot on...

... be happy with who you are and how you live, as you only live it once.
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Any chance she may have been hitting on you?
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Hi Gino!

Have you been stewing on this??

I think Colin (and baby ) were right. And remember, we're essentially "pack" animals, so any apparent "non conformity" will be at best, met with interested questioning and at worse, derision

Imagine if you'd have the nerve to have questioned her on her life choices? Is she truly following her dreams? Does she have regrets? Does she love life? Does she feel appreciated and true to herself? etc etc


I admire your patience. She certainly has a lot to learn from you......
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

This was a party, right?

Was she drunk? Sounds awfully like drunk talk to me
 
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

OR did she strike a chord And is that what is really p155ing you off ??

If you're really so happy g, why can't you just let this slip away down the gutter and into the drain.



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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

HST - she may have been drunk, but this was interesting:

'I'm telling you this because I care for you. When I see you in the mornings [in the traffic] I want to drag you out and scream at you...'what are you doing here? You should be living it up!'.

The wine speaks the truth...?

g
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The wine speaks the truth...?
Just a p155ed bird who can't hold her tongue.
 
(Post Link) post #12 of 38 Old 17-01-08 Thread Starter
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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OR did she strike a chord And is that what is really p155ing you off ??

If you're really so happy g, why can't you just let this slip away down the gutter and into the drain.
Because Gibbo, the central point, after I'd chewed over her observations, was 'what right, what level of higher ground, does anyone have to tell anyone else what they think is wrong in their life?'

Am I a criminal that needs correction? No

A work-shy slacker? No

A debt-ridden drunken space cadet who ignores his responsibilities? No

Have I ever cried into my beer about my life? No

So why is it Ok for someone to steam in and tell me what I'm doing 'wrong'?

That's what's eating at me mate. Not that she's right. You know when people tell you that you bought bad by buying an Alfa, it's a bit like that. It's not advice that you need, or advice that you asked for.

g
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Maybe she was just saying to you what she really felt about herself?

People are odd things, women more so, I've lived with a few and they never cease to confound me at times.

Her whole rant could entirely have been introspective and her only way to get this bottled up emotion out was to target someone she perceived as having unrealised potential because she's the unhappy one.
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Hi,
Scudetto
Life was given too you as the ultimate gift from your parents,
A gift which I and any other persons reading your post,
can clearly see you have cherished and honoured.
There are many who know not of his gift, they look on life as a right.
Alas these persons often lack humility or compassion for others,
They are however cursed with the green god of envy.
Live your life, as you would live it,For I think many may learn from you life style.
Enjoy your vacation,dissregard the rubbish you have carried since the party.I for one enjoy your postings.
John.t.l.

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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

she might be a bit envious @ the fact your happy just being you without any 3rd party help, or probably just hitting on you!
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

Stuff the Herd Mentality Scud!: Veer off and choose you own path, valleys, mountains, or both, if you so choose.

Took my eldest ten years to come to this conclusion, after leaving Loughborough, and working for various, Pack Mentality organisations. He was also encouraged to go for the Big Buck, but after a decade he surprised the lot, by opting out of the moneyed Rat Race, and has never been happier.

I reckon it's a secret admirer of your spirit of free enterprise, that would like to have your attitude to life, but feels more secure chasing around with The Flock. Good on 'yer, Freedom of choice reigns, supreme.
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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Originally Posted by alfaclover View Post
Any chance she may have been hitting on you?
My thought too. Maybe she sees an opportunity?

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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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Originally Posted by Scudetto View Post
Because Gibbo, the central point, after I'd chewed over her observations, was 'what right, what level of higher ground, does anyone have to tell anyone else what they think is wrong in their life?'

Am I a criminal that needs correction? No

A work-shy slacker? No

A debt-ridden drunken space cadet who ignores his responsibilities? No

Have I ever cried into my beer about my life? No

So why is it Ok for someone to steam in and tell me what I'm doing 'wrong'?

That's what's eating at me mate. Not that she's right. You know when people tell you that you bought bad by buying an Alfa, it's a bit like that. It's not advice that you need, or advice that you asked for.

g


Then I'd be inclined to talk to her about it mate. It's clearly bugging you.



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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

thanks for all of your replies, guys - it is appreciated.

But surely this isn't how people now hit on people? Anyway, that can't have been her agenda as she is spoken for anyway.

g
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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thanks for all of your replies, guys - it is appreciated.

But surely this isn't how people now hit on people? Anyway, that can't have been her agenda as she is spoken for anyway.

g
Yeah, she is hitting on you. So unhappy and repressed that she must resent those she likes....

Liberate her!!!!
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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Then I'd be inclined to talk to her about it mate. It's clearly bugging you.
that's a good idea, as she has threaten to hound me out of the village (i think that was in jest though).

g
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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thanks for all of your replies, guys - it is appreciated.

But surely this isn't how people now hit on people? Anyway, that can't have been her agenda as she is spoken for anyway.

g
I honestly dont think she was hitting on you, but you shouldnt have to listen to her or take her advice! Ladies dont hit on you by dissing you! They flutter there eyes lids

I strongly suggest you just lock her away next year, forget it ever happend mate and have a good time enjoying what you do best!

And have a great time in Spain!
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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And have a great time in Spain!
thank you!

i cannot wait to see my folks again

g
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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Ladies dont hit on you by dissing you! They flutter there eyes lids
It works

Some good advice on here G, hope you find peace out of it all though
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Re: Single people. And the advice they some times get...

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thank you!

i cannot wait to see my folks again

g
Enjoy the time away!!

By the sounds of it you deserve it!

Take it easy!!!
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