AO Silver Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: I would rather not say
Re: BMW X3 3.0si
This car is cool. Let me explain why.
I recently decided to take some time off work. The weather was nice, the kids were off school, and i was bored. So i took two weeks off. I had a lot planned for that fortnight. Take kids to the zoo, let them paddle in raw sewage and contract a dose of e-coli at the beach, see some old friends, etc. Well on the Wednesday, which just so happened to be one of the hottest days of the year, we decided we would take a trip 80 miles or so to Hunstanton. What a disaster. We didn't go in my car, i didnt want sand and pebbles and puke gathering in the back of it, so we took the wifes Tino.
From the off, which was at some stupidly early hour, we hit traffic. About 15mins after that the kids got bored rigid and started acting up in the back. That in turn woke the baby who had been blissfully asleep until then, who let rip with the loudest scream i, and indeed probably the whole of Cambridgeshire, had ever heard. This proceeded for another 20mins until i went sufficiently deaf for it not to bother me any more.
The wife's car is not a bad thing to move kids and pushchairs and buckets and spades around in everyday situations, but lock up a family of 5 in one for over 3 hours and it becomes a medium sized time bomb just ticking over waiting to explode. Everybody has gone numb from the arse down, the kids are complaining that they haven't got enough room and are starting to fight like Russians in the arctic over every available space, and the baby is still screaming....well, because it can. And it likes it.
In my rearview mirror there is a man with a confused look on his face. I can only assume that is because he is blissfully unaware of what we are going through as the aircon slowly poisons us with the fumes of the car in front. Its not that he's on his own. He's a family man too, i can just about make out the outlines of a couple of motionless heads behind him. The woman next to him is asleep, her face a picture of complete relaxation and contentment, compared to the person sitting next to me who has a face contorted in pain to within an inch of its life. The man stretches and adjusts his seat a little and then fiddles with a control on his dashboard before going back to his composed and steady position. He still looks confused but there is also a slight look of remorse on his face too. That could be because he just witnessed Aliesha hit her sister round the head with her Leapster though.
Looking down a bit i see the BMW badge and i am filled with rage and hatred. Not because he has stopped within a hairs breadth of my rear bumper, not because he is obviously having no problems with the lower half of his body not because they have more than enough room for everyone to have their own space without resorting to all out war. Not because he has all these things and the benefit of having air blasted into the car that isnt slowly climbing to dangerous levels of CO2. It's not even for his ease of persuading other road users to move out of his way on the Hardwick roundabout. It was when we finally reached our destination, nearly 4 hours later, only to realise that the car park is full forcing us to park a mile away from the beach.
None of this upset or bothered my X3 in the least. Everyone got out of that car refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Well, what was left of it anyway. We had parked in front of them, and as my lot bundled out, to equal sighs of relief and complaints of pins-and-needles, the X3 man did, for a few moments, look genuinely concerned for our health. I put on a deliberately brave face and proceeded to act as though my legs still felt as though as were attached to my body while stumbling round the back of the car to fumble in the boot while my back realigned itself. I gave Mr X3 a cheerful nod of reassurance and we went our seperate ways. No doubt, they had a similar relaxing trip home again when the whole of Hunstanton left at 6pm. I should have waited till 7pm.
Never Test The Depth Of Water With Both Feet.