traffic report

A lorry carry a cargo of vick's vapourub has overturned on the M6.

police say there will be no congestion for at least 9 hours

I don't know where you get your reports from Fee...

I heard it was a Hartleys wagon, and there'd be a jam for ages.

Is that near where the hair-dresser's lorry got robbed? Police are combing the area.

Bad road jokes? Fine:



There's a Motorway and a Dual Carriageway in a really rough pub
enjoying a pint of scrumpy to demonstrate just how HARD they are.

The Dual Carriageway is impressing these pretty little A-roads with his
central reservation and the Motorway is showing off about his hard
shoulder and they're getting on really well.

They are just about to take the A-Roads "back to their place" when a
pink piece of tarmac walks in through the door. The Motorway and the
Dual Carriageway turn white with fear and they dive for cover beneath the table.

Well, the A-Roads are not impressed at all as you may imagine.
The pink tarmac downs a triple vodka and walks out of the bar. The
Motorway and Dual Carriageway get out from under the table realising
that they've blown it with the A-Roads.

The first A-road asks the Motorway "Why did you go white and dive
for cover when that pink piece of tarmac walked in -- you're supposed
to be the king of the roads?".

The Motorway replies, "WHY? Becuase that guy's a ****ing Cycle Path!!"