Wedding Costs.

You need to talk to your daughter really, surely she doesn't expect you to foot the bill on a second wedding.

I'd go up to £5K.(the price of a couple of weeks in the Caribbean with a wedding thrown in).

You also need to mention that this is the last one you'll be paying anything towards.

Originally Posted by Graham P

It's easily done at the sort of price we paid if you are sensible and don't let the woman take care of it all....Jimmer

You say that, but I went to one wedding fair with her and I don't think I could go through that again.

The £20k isn't a finalised figure, it'll probably turn out to be a few grand cheaper as we haven't negotiated everything yet.

The venue's £9k, then there's the dresses, the cake, suits, cars, flowers, the band.... zzz

The honeymoon will be a large chunk of it, we've decided to go all out as it'll be our last holiday for a good number of years (what with kids on the plans soon after).

We're going to Vegas for 4 days with all our friends, then Hawaii for a week or so, then to New York for 3 days, then quickly stopping at home before spending a chill-out week in Menorca then jumping back into the real world.

Originally Posted by JimmerUK

The £20k isn't a finalised figure, it'll probably turn out to be a few grand cheaper as we haven't negotiated everything yet. .

do you know women at all???? If anything it will probably be more expensive

I've been married twice - 1971 and 1993 the total cost of both was less than £100 (register office on both occasions). Both were bargains - the first because it ended in divorce so I didn't waste the money - the second because we are still in love so it was the best £60 we ever spent.

I always told my daughters that I don't believe in expensive weddings - being married is far more important than getting married. Despite indoctrination from an early age they both want them. One got married last year and the other is getting married next year. As a compromise I agreed to pay for the dresses (well I had seen them in Aldi for 40 quid so how expensive could they be?) It seems that designer dresses cost a bit more (gulp) but I paid up happily.

Second time around - get out of here - a nice present but that's your lot.

Paul.

Originally Posted by JimmerUK

We're going to Vegas for 4 days with all our friends, then Hawaii for a week or so, then to New York for 3 days, then quickly stopping at home before spending a chill-out week in Menorca then jumping back into the real world.

I'd marry you for that kind of holiday ! I wouldn't want an expensive wedding either !!

I paid for both my weddings with my husbands.

The first one was a bit fancier than the second (Rolls Royce, Church Wedding etc.) but we kept the costs down as much as we could.

The second cost us only £1500 and I made my own dress

My first wedding cost about £200 all in.. Second one about £500
But who knows what my next one will cost..
I paid for them both, and had every thing was just as I wanted it. Mind you I think having a very creative family helped a lot, and added a really personal touch.
I do tend to go overboard on party's though, and my son's 4th and 6th cost my about 3k each.
I'm not even thinking about who much my 30th's costing this month

If you only have 1 daughter ask her what SHE wants, and tell the ex to go jump.

Originally Posted by howell811

I'd marry you for that kind of holiday !

Hahaha!

My folks got married in a registry office, and looking back at the photos it all looks a bit sad.

My Dad remarried a few years back, again in a registry office, and it took all of... 7 minutes.

Paul, I understand you believe the marriage itself to be the most important thing, not the wedding, but I reckon 7 minutes to solidify your relationship for the rest of your lives isn't special enough, not for me.

We've been together for 10 years, probably longer than most marriages nowadays , so we really wanted a big fuss.

Thanks for all your replies, much appreciated. Most seem to think as I do that 12K is madness, that sort of money could be far better used. I have no intention of paying more than half the costs whatever happens.

Will try and 'phone her soon to see what she is thinking. It's what she wants that counts, her first wedding cost me, or mum, nothing so if this is what she wants..........

As usual feel that I'm being held to ransom by mum, she's very good at this and knows that I'm a soft touch, or perhaps just soft, probably both.

Anyone any thoughts about the actual wedding ? I'm dreading it, mum has remarried and she has a big family who no longer like me, being the best thing since sliced bread 30 years ago no longer applies ! Going to feel very awkward about this, I'll probably just do what I have to do then disappear into the sunset whilst no ones looking.

Sorry about posting such a personal thing but it's good to get other peoples views.

Let's finish on a lighter note ! The pic shows her first al fresco wedding, frankly I think it looks great, if only we could have something similar although raging rivers are few and far between in Cyprus !

http://www.alfaowner.com/Forum/attac...d=12150147 67

Don't let your ex spoil you from having a great day with your daughter.. It's HER day, and your ex, and her family should remember that.

Take your g/f with you for support (or hire one that is really young and hot to make the ex feel really old)

Good luck

Originally Posted by 29alfa

Take your g/f with you for support (or hire one that is really young and hot to make the ex feel really old)

How's he meant to pull a bridesmaid then ?!

Originally Posted by Nev

How's he meant to pull a bridesmaid then ?!

Never though of that Nev.. But if you hire one for the day you could always send her off

I'll be getting married next year (first time round for both of us), don't know where to start. We'll be paying for it ourselves... it comes down to deposit for a house, honeymoon or wedding... DAY...!!!

Think it'll be a small family do... so we can buy things for our wee home...

Also like most say here, I believe second time around, you should foot the bill yourself.

Originally Posted by JimmerUK

Paul, I understand you believe the marriage itself to be the most important thing, not the wedding, but I reckon 7 minutes to solidify your relationship for the rest of your lives isn't special enough, not for me.

I understand - we are all different.

But for Liz and I - the time taken was of no relevance. A ceremony for us was just an acknowledgement - we had "solidified" our relationship long before then.

Please don't read this as a criticism - as I say - what works for all of us is right.


Paul.

I totally agree, second time around, she should pay

my wedding cost less than €5000......

absolute madness if ya ask me to be spending £12000 on a single day... ESPECIALLY 2nd time round..
and I'm 22... so no, you're not a miserable old bugger

It amazes me that people spend inordinate amounts of money on weddings which then, sadly, often don't work out.

Is it the very same people who complain about being taken to the cleaners when they divorce. Do these people have cr"p solicitors?
There is no need to be taken to the cleaners in my opinion.

Originally Posted by Nige005

:

Anyone any thoughts about the actual wedding ? I'm dreading it, mum has remarried and she has a big family who no longer like me, being the best thing since sliced bread 30 years ago no longer applies ! Going to feel very awkward about this, I'll probably just do what I have to do then disappear into the sunset whilst no ones looking.

Sorry about posting such a personal thing but it's good to get other peoples views.

Let's finish on a lighter note ! The pic shows her first al fresco wedding, frankly I think it looks great, if only we could have something similar although raging rivers are few and far between in Cyprus !

http://www.alfaowner.com/Forum/attac...d=12150147 67

You have my sympathy! I have a wife and daughter. However my friends still have regular contact with my ex wife and her new family, and more suprisingly an ex girlfriend who I never even lived with.

It makes for stressful times. I was best man at my friends wedding just before mine in Nov 2006 where all my ex's and current wife were present.

We have now taken the easy option and will not attend any more "gatherings".

Life is too short for polite conversation with people you don't like!!!!!

1

Originally Posted by cooper1997

It amazes me that people spend inordinate amounts of money on weddings which then, sadly, often don't work out.

Is it the very same people who complain about being taken to the cleaners when they divorce. Do these people have cr"p solicitors?
There is no need to be taken to the cleaners in my opinion.

Have you been divorced? I have and it's the lawyers that make it so expensive, they deliberately stoked it up between me and the ex, because every letter demands a reply and a copy to me. Then they suggest she should go for a ludicrous settlement so it takes as long as possible - the judge told her lawyers off! An amicable straight-forward divorce is not in the lawyers interests!