I have sex with my car!

[baby278278]

Oh my god! Some people really are gross

I have sex with my car!
Monday 19 May 2008
Like many men, Jordan Witham is obsessed with his car. But while most boy racers would draw the line at a wax and polish, his obsession has gone into overdrive.

The 20 year old is in love with his Volkswagen Beetle – and has been having sex with it for four years.

Despite never having kissed a girl before, virgin Jordan has become an experienced lover, covering his car with kisses and caresses before having penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.

“I don’t fancy people,” says Jordan. “It’s cars that do it for me – I don’t want to marry or have kids.”

Jordan’s mum, Debbie, 53, doesn’t know about her son’s habit but his dad, David, 50, a door installer, does – and amazingly hasn’t tried to put the brakes on his relationship.

Jordan says: “When I told my dad I was sexually attracted to my car, he just said that there are lots of different people out there who are attracted to lots of different things.

“I’m not ready to tell Mum, though. She sees the world in a different way and is always asking me if I’ve found a nice girl.”

Jordan is one of just a handful of extreme car lovers in the world known as mechaphiles, and says his obsession was fuelled as a child.

He says: “I had hundreds of toy cars as a kid and often played in my dad’s Beetle. I used to talk to it, but I didn’t think it was odd as all my mates had imaginary friends.”

After Jordan passed his driving test at 16, he spent his £750 savings on his first car, a 1967 VW Beetle.

Jordan says: “I just knew she was a ‘girl’ car and I named her Ingo. She hadn’t worked in years, but as soon as I saw her, I had to have her.”

It was only while restoring Ingo that Jordan, who has never been attracted to women, realised his feelings were sexual.

“I could feel myself falling in love while I worked on Ingo,” he says. “I once became so aroused, I started rubbing her bodywork and masturbating. It didn’t feel strange, just really exciting.

“After a few minutes, I felt a desire to connect with her further, so I had penetrative sex with the exhaust pipe.”
Jordan began making love to his car a couple of times a week, while his parents were out. He recently moved out of their home to make it easier to carry on his relationship.

“I don’t always have sex with the car,” he explains. “Sometimes I stroke and kiss her bodywork, or rub myself up against her. If I’ve just been driving her, I have to wait for the exhaust pipe to cool down before I have sex. And I always use a condom because of all the dirt and dust inside.”

Jordan, who also masturbates while reading car magazines, has spent over £2,500 refurbishing Ingo. Most of Jordan’s earnings from his job stacking shelves at a supermarket are spent on her.

Now he has spent a further £200 on a “boy” car, a Trans Am he calls Todd, and is experimenting with a “gay” relationship.

Jordan says: “He’s very masculine. When I first bought him, I felt like I was cheating on Ingo, but now we all work well together.

“I have sex with Ingo more than Todd because Todd is kept in the driveway, not in the garage,” he explains. “I have to sneak outside in the middle of the night to have sex with him.”

Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet.

Jordan says: “I enjoy my life. If I end up an old man, living on my own with just my cars, I’ll be happy.”

By Lisa Woollard

See Jordan in My Car Is My Lover – Strangelove, 10pm, 28 May on Five.

I had this emailed to me from someone at work - its taken from a girly magazine called Closer.

[Fraser]

Can't believe he's allowed his photo to be published

[OperationAlfa]

That has to be rubbish.

[paintergirl]

OMG

Freaky or what?

Glad he's taking precautions though - can't be having Baby Dubs

[Alfa Vincent]

Yep I don't believe that at all!

[paintergirl]

Originally Posted by Alfa Vincent

Yep I don't believe that at all!

His friends say he's a big bore!

[baby278278]

Well there is a program about it, i suggest we all watch it and you men take tips

[Nev]

Must be a wind up.


Googled:
Sex with car - Closer Online

[paintergirl]

I bet he's exhausted afterwards

[OperationAlfa]

ok.. he has a TV program.. sky plus set.

[baby278278]

My mate is a mechanic for VW, hes a bit of a loner.....I wonder if he has the same problem!

He also has 4 pipes fitted to his camper............explains it all!

[chrisd_b]

Originally Posted by paintergirl

I bet he's exhausted afterwards

Oh Dear -

Don't have a coat smiley sorry

[baby278278]

Originally Posted by chrisd_b

Oh Dear -

Don't have a coat smiley sorry

But i do

[Snapper_Five]

I think he's pulling your pipe

[baby278278]

Originally Posted by Snapper_Five

I think he's pulling your pipe

I like to think its real and that he is a complete freak

[Rayq81]

Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet.


FFS has the world gone mad

[baby278278]

Originally Posted by rayq81

Unsurprisingly, Jordan from Missouri, USA, describes himself as a bit of a loner – though he has now made friends with another mechaphile over the internet.


FFS has the world gone mad

Yes Ray it has!

[GranTurismo]

Its a bit old for me that one... i prefer the younger models personally.

[EddieGTA]

Originally Posted by baby278278

My mate is a mechanic for VW, hes a bit of a loner.....I wonder if he has the same problem!

He also has 4 pipes fitted to his camper............explains it all!

Good for an orgy then!

[dpat]

whatever you like yourself

[73GTVJim]

There are some strange people out there, and some of them are really quite sick.

That boy needs help, but I don't feel like lending him a hand.

[roeburndale]

Originally Posted by 73GTVJim

There are some strange people out there, and some of them are really quite sick.

That boy needs help, but I don't feel like lending him a hand.

You seem to pop up in adult themed threads at an alarming rate jim...

[73GTVJim]

Originally Posted by roeburndale

You seem to pop up in adult themed threads at an alarming rate jim...

...he says.

[alfa-female]

i am never saying I love my Alfa out loud again.....

[Knikki]

It is a bit of an old story. The BBC reproted a couple of years ago about some bloke arrested for having sex with a Mini Metro

Same thing bit of lube on the exhaust, but he got it wrong first time as he had just driven the car to a "secluded place" and the pipe was a "bit warm"