The Fast Show

Why don't they do repeats of this fantastic series, instead of the rubbish they feed us on?

Ted and Ralph, Swiss Toni, Monkfish, Cheesy peas, Suits you!!

I don't think some of it is PC anymore.

Anyone remember the Brittas Empire? I rekon this isnt shown on repeat because of the Racism etc in some episodes.

In one episode they were recruiting an ethnic people to make the leisure centre more open to cutures and someone suggested asking a black gospel choir. Brittas said something like "thats not a good idea, we dont want to be overrun with them"

Anyway, does anyone remember the Never Ending Fight on the Fast show. It was basically two people decking the hell out of each other but it went on and on thoughout a whole episode....very funny.

Originally Posted by andyalfagtv

Why don't they do repeats of this fantastic series, instead of the rubbish they feed us on?

Ted and Ralph, Swiss Toni, Monkfish, Cheesy peas, Suits you!!

lol I forgot Cheesy Peas.

also Bob Flemming.....@rse!

and the Sha**ing Couple.

YouTube - Fast Show - Indecisive Dave

Indecisive Dave was one of my favourites

Gotta be Swiss Toni and Channel 9 - Bueno Estente, pussycat!

Ya gotta love the Fat Sweaty Coppers, as well...

Always used to like some of the pathos in the fast show, obviously Ralph and Ted had it in spades but here's a great example.

RON MANAGER
PW Mmm. Arr. Yes. Marvellous, isn't it? You know, wasn't it? Cor! First
half to die for, you know. Angles? Through-balls? Popping up out of
nowhere to slot it under the advancing keeper's body? Phew! All skills
learnt in the park? You know, small boys? Jumpers for goalposts?
Mmm? Ha! Secretly rolling the ball in dog's muck and getting your
friend to head it? Hmm? Enduring image, isn't it? Enduring smell.
SD Sadly though, the first half ruined by that ugly, off the ball incident.
MW Oh, that's the game all over these days. I mean, you've got to win at all
costs.
PW Ooh, yes - it's the money men, isn't it? You know, the "Mister Ten
Percenters" running the game? "I've got mine, don't worry about his!"
You know, filthy lucre? Phew!
SD Yes indeed, Ron.
PW You know, I mean, I wonder what Jesus makes of it all.
SD I beg your pardon?
PW Well, you know, he's gutted, isn't he? You know, he's thrown those
money lenders out of the temple, he looks down and sees them take up
residence in the Premiership? Huh! Far cry from small boys in the park,
jumpers for goalposts, three and in, showing there willies to each other,
isn't it?
SD Yes, thank you, Ron. If we could return to football for a moment.
PW Football? Twenty two grown men chasing a ball round a muddy field?
Football? What's it for? Who cares? Phh! You know. Hmph! Trees -
are they the lungs of the planet? Is there life on Mars? Ziggy played
guitar. Is there any future? Is it all over? Hard to say, really. My wife's
left me.
[pause]
SD Leeds United there, playing extremely well - and we go to Elland Road
now.

"So, why do they call you Swiss Toni then?"

"Well, I am built like an Alp, and have ridges like a Toblerone"

YouTube - Rowley Birkin QC - Very Drunk, Terrible Flattulence

YouTube - Fast show sketch - Didn't mean to say that!

YouTube - The Fast Show -Ted and Ralph, drinking game. in full

"This week I have been mostly eating.........."

oooh sorry, I've just come

Swiss Toni- "Choosing a car is like choosing a woman. Firstly have a look at some magazines, to see which type you prefer".

Originally Posted by Monty

Always used to like some of the pathos in the fast show, obviously Ralph and Ted had it in spades but here's a great example.

RON MANAGER
PW Mmm. Arr. Yes. Marvellous, isn't it? You know, wasn't it? Cor! First
half to die for, you know. Angles? Through-balls? Popping up out of
nowhere to slot it under the advancing keeper's body? Phew! All skills
learnt in the park? You know, small boys? Jumpers for goalposts?
Mmm? Ha! Secretly rolling the ball in dog's muck and getting your
friend to head it? Hmm? Enduring image, isn't it? Enduring smell.
SD Sadly though, the first half ruined by that ugly, off the ball incident.
MW Oh, that's the game all over these days. I mean, you've got to win at all
costs.
PW Ooh, yes - it's the money men, isn't it? You know, the "Mister Ten
Percenters" running the game? "I've got mine, don't worry about his!"
You know, filthy lucre? Phew!
SD Yes indeed, Ron.
PW You know, I mean, I wonder what Jesus makes of it all.
SD I beg your pardon?
PW Well, you know, he's gutted, isn't he? You know, he's thrown those
money lenders out of the temple, he looks down and sees them take up
residence in the Premiership? Huh! Far cry from small boys in the park,
jumpers for goalposts, three and in, showing there willies to each other,
isn't it?
SD Yes, thank you, Ron. If we could return to football for a moment.
PW Football? Twenty two grown men chasing a ball round a muddy field?
Football? What's it for? Who cares? Phh! You know. Hmph! Trees -
are they the lungs of the planet? Is there life on Mars? Ziggy played
guitar. Is there any future? Is it all over? Hard to say, really. My wife's
left me.
[pause]
SD Leeds United there, playing extremely well - and we go to Elland Road
now.

bloody brilliant - and frankly (as a collective) better than Fawlty Towers IMHO.

Have to agree Steve, you kind of knew what you were getting with Basil and crowd, but the Fast Show was kind of unpredictable, non PC and totally hilarious.

and lots of little gags apart from the huge ones

cheesy peas (now in strawberry flavour)
hi - I'm Ed Winchester
obnoxious aussie Binns make-up lady
the regular (and pointless) use of Darlo town centre

Ed Winchester was one of my favs!!!

Oh sir, suits you sir...

I was teaching when it was on, me and a colleague used to send kids running to and fro between our classrooms with 'messages' that were really quotes from the fast show! I also had picture of Jesse with the caption 'This week....(space to insert kids name)... is mostly collecting the register'

they did one of the Chanel 9 sketches where Mr Higson played the part of Mickey Disco - really cheesey, bouffant, tight-panted pop star

"disco baby sexy baby HOT!"