The thread of not quite getting the right word. - Alfa Romeo Forum
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(Post Link) post #1 of 107 Old 09-01-17 Thread Starter
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The thread of not quite getting the right word.

So, some folks are well known for Spoonerisms, getting words and meanings confused, just not getting quite the right word etc. It's a common enough affliction and as you gain in 'experience points' it does seem to get worse.

A couple of recent examples.

Tesco Checkout

[Keithy, for it is I!] Errr, hang on, the offer in the wine isle said 25% off any "6 or more" bottles of wine. That has only discounted the first 12 bottles (we had a voucher to use ) not the subsequent 4. 16 is more than 6 so the discount should apply to all 16. It does not say "in multiples of 6!"

[Tesco Checkout Operator] I'm sorry about that sir, you are right, it doesn't. Although if you add 2 more of these bottles the 25% discount means that in effect you will be getting them for free*

[Random Lady**] We'll do that then, it's a no-boner!

[Keithy & Tesco Checkout Operator exchange sidelong look, hold for 4 seconds, then snigger]


A Suburban Dining Room ***

[Keithy, risking life, limb and testicular attachment] You know, you should really just take your time and proof read your texts before hitting send.

[Another Random Lady****]
It's not my fault! Bloody protective text!!


Any old favourites out there?













* Yes, I do know I'm not

** Absolutely, definitely not Mrs Pat

*** Obviously not ours

**** You know the drill, nothing to see here, move along
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Are you folding?

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" For free " really irritates me.
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A damp squid.
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We were having drinks with a couple while on holiday some weeks ago.

The lady, a few years younger than me dropped spoonerisms and mixed her metaphors all night long.

I never corrected her, you don't do you? but I got a kick or two for smirking.

And I can't recall a single word she said the day after, still can't.....good night
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cue2 View Post
A damp squid.
They make the batter soggy.
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Bad tempura?
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I'm more interested in the 16 bottles of wine. You must drink like a chimney.
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Originally Posted by cue2 View Post
Bad tempura?
Not usually, others say I am.
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Guy at work was telling me about his insurance quote and was unsure about having 250 access.

I told him I wouldn't pay that for access to anything.

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In the spirit of the thread title - "wine aisle"?

I know, I know.
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Island instead or Ireland?
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Or my absolute favourite: Ingerland.
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Or my absolute favourite: Ingerland.
When I see that it makes me go nucular.
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This thread is completely malapropriate.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tata4Now View Post
This thread is completely malapropriate.
I know, I can't tell the wheat from the chav...
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I sometimes do it deliberately, e.g. a saliva of cake and either a vulture to get money off my shopping or a toucan instead of a coin to release the shopping trolley.
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(Post Link) post #20 of 107 Old 11-01-17 Thread Starter
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Hypodeemic Nurdles. Took me ages to master it. Alas now I can't prevent it, which is unfortunate.
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My New Years revolution is to be more active,

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Me: Fancy a drink?

Friend: Any chance of an Expresso?

Me: No
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"Can I just put you on hold, I'll be with you momentarily"

I don't mind waiting a bit but I think we'll need more than a moment when you're ready.
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If you think that's the death nail of this thread then you've got another thing coming.
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My gran's favourite veggie was sparrowgrass.

My mother asked me if she should buy a dehumaniser to get rid of dampness in her flat.
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