i'm no longer a fan of chrome-finish wheels (had them on my 156). i prefer a brushed metal finish or sprayed metallic silver usually. depends on the colour of the car.
there's always a compromise when fitting bigger wheels, including extra cost (incl of tyres), usually worse ride comfort, and higher risk of buckling the wheel (over pothole or similar).
as for added stress, i don't think this is necessarily an issue, and would depend upon how you set up the suspension, and how long you keep the car for. sure, over a 10 year period, the car may end up 'looser' compared with a standard one, but if you only plan to keep the car for no more than 5 years, i suspect it will be perfectly fine.
not exactly sure what is meant by "will only last about 10-15K" - what will happen thereafter? were they referring to the chance of buckling a wheel?
i think with any big wheel upgrade, you 'need' to upgrade the suspension too. this can go a long way towards compensating for any loss in ride comfort and suspension control. dampers will play the biggest part here. and to improve 'the look', you should lower the car, and reduce the air gap between the top of the tyre and the wheel arch. an FSB (front strut brace) is also a very good idea to help stiffen the front end; because it reduces body-flex, it will also prevent the whole car loosening up over time (ie: the FSB will absorb the stress).
so if you do it, do it properly. change the dampers, springs, FSB, and the wheels/tyres. 19s should be fine for a 159, and i don't think 20s are too big (ie: are also ok). 159/brera were designed with a 1" larger (diameter) overall wheel/tyre package compared with the 147/156/GT. basically, fitting 18s to a 156 is like fitting 19s to a 159 (ie: 40-series profile tyres), and is as big as most people like to go; whilst 19s on a 156 and 20s on a 159 are certainly do-able. btw, i have 19s on my GT, and am very happy with the compromise.
