This 'commentator' is a parasitic worm hanging off the bleeding, infected penis of a filthy, $h1t3-slavering and diseased blowfly which is hooveringly feeding on a huge, itching, flaking, pustulent sore on the unloved arse of football. Over this weekend he once again confirmed my long-held belief that he not only does not care about football, he actually hates it. He speaks, the lying, toad-faced, bog-eyed get, like he is a man of the people, wrapping himself in a velvet-BBC-taxpayer-funded gown of self-declared unimpeachibility and pontificates arrogantly, talking down to his subjects, slagging off referees, ignoring facts and reality. I don't mind that in the pub, but I do mind it being thrust down my neck when there are excellent commentators available - this is only highlighted by the way they 'swap over' from one commentator to the other during a half.....WTF?
On Saturday Sunderland played Spurs - and the first half was compered absolutely adequately (I forget by whom - and almost isn't that the point?) and then the handover was announced. I was working in the garage and I stood there thinking - "here he comes, what irrelevant MOAN is he going to come out with?". Sure enough.....it was along the lines of "y'know, I just don't understand it........two teams doing well in the league.....and THEY STILL can't fill this stadium". The point was repeated and the delivery dripping with pejorative intent. Why can't the stupid, lazy, feckless Sunderland fans even be arsed to turn up and fill this poxy dump of a Saturday. Sunderlands prices are pretty darn reasonable (from £25 for an adult and £16 for under-16s) but when times are really tough it's one of the things to go, isn't it? Not everyone in Sunderland works at Nissan.
Sunday he moaned constantly. By the time he flowed into 606 he was focussing approximately 80% on what? referees? offsides? video evidence? Alan Green?
What do you think? He was rumbled half-way through when an eloquent, educated and thoughtful gentleman (I know what you're thinking, but no
) took him apart on his perpetual criticism of referees. This caller reprimanded in a cool and informed fashion, advising that Green lacked the necessary perspective to launch vitriol at every opportunity, not having ever had to make a split second decision in front of 80k people and a worldwide audience, at high speed, at pitch level, through a blur of figures and limbs, without the aeriel perspective and a clear backdrop of pure green grass, without an action replay and super slow-mo, and, of course, knowing that if you get it wrong you will be vilified immediately). So, please, Mr Green, would you desist.
The silence from Green was deafening and then the spluttering and bluster began....."Me, stop giving refs a hard time when they get it wrong? NO CHANCE!" and the horrible forced "oh, you're ridiculous" laughter -aahahahahahahahah - and yet the polite caller maintained his humour and calm, consistent line. After that Green was hysterical, seeking solace from every subsequent caller by blustering all over their own issues and queries "I'll let you ask yer own question in a moment, but referees eh?"
He's a pygmy, a leech, a massive tart and a soulless winker of the first water. I hope, one day, he explodes on air.