Fee! I'm shocked!
Talking of head related problems. Mr Smith phones the doctor about his wife's results while she's out shopping.
The quack says they have the results back but they have two Mrs Smiths both with the same first name and they've mixed them up. One has Alzheimer's and the other has AIDS.
"So how do I know what to do next?" asks Mr Smith.
"Well, if she comes home; don't s**g her!!"