Totally lost, gutted, Death of a loved one and Durham Police

[Grahameo]

I had really, really bad news... My Grandmother who brought me up from the age of three as her own was rushed into hospital with major organ failure.... It was a total shock to everyone as she was fit for her 82 years of life and never seamed ail for anything.

She was taken to James Cook Hospital and put on life support, although fully coherant and chatting away as normal to the doctors, family and nurses.
They gave her 48 hours and her last wish was to speak to all the family individually to give that last little bit of encouragement and guidance that she always knew just what was needed.

My Grandparent's have always been a great influence to me, bringing me up, guiding me and supporting me through my military and civilian career choices.
So you can imagine this is a distressing time for me despite my 42 years age and the fact I have lost such a lot of close friends in the Army on service in high risk zones, it has never affected me in such a way like this.

I found out on Friday afternoon when I was at work... My Uncle had rang me and explained that my Grandmother was failing fast and she need me here. Needless to say I left work right away and took the Alfa down the A1/A19 as fast as she would go..... As with all sustained high speeds, it was only a matter of time before I drew the attention of the Police just south of Peterlee.
I was promptly pulled over by a Durham Constabulary traffic car... To my shock and after explaining the situation they were very sympathetic and said
"well we can't have you driving at 140+mph without an escort, that would be dangerous sir, can we?.... Follow us!"...
They gave me an escort all the way to the hospital clearing the way through the traffic for me... I couldn't thank them enough, especially on a day that I simply couldn't care if I lost my licence or not, it didn't matter. Who says the Police don't have feelings?

I got to my Grandmother's bedside in time and after a few tears, she told me, she was proud, pleased and happy that I had found love of a good woman, had a wonderful family of my own and told me not to let anything stand in the way of our dreams....
The life support was turned off at her request an hour later and she past away peacefully 20 minutes later.

Like I said before, death has never affected me before... Not like this anyway... I just simply feel lost and I can see the absolute and total pain on my Grandfather's face... This is a man who has always been a rock for all of us in the past and I simply don't know how to help him!
He served in WWII with the 1st bt. Parachute Regiment and was dropped into Arnhem in 1944 at a mere age of 17... He has seen it all and never ever have I seen anything affect him so much this way, the man is unflinchable usually...
I just want to help him get over this but don't know here to start?

[paintergirl]

So, so sorry for your loss I can't imagine how you feel right now, but totally sympathise.

Durham police were total angels to see you there in time! Bless them

[lupos0_1]

Just be there when he needs you! Nothing you can say or do will help but he knows you are hurting too!

Feel for you!

+1 for the police

[paintergirl]

And time, as everyone will tell you, is the greatest healer. I've lost all but one grandparent and each time it hits you like a tonne weight; I was incredibly close to all my grandparents as well.

Take each day as it comes.

[AlfaDrivingFan]

Sorry to hear that, best wishes to you and your family in this difficult time.

[jillyflower]

Originally Posted by lupos0_1

Just be there when he needs you! Nothing you can say or do will help but he knows you are hurting too!

Feel for you!

+1 for the police

I totally agree with this...............bless you all

[300stu]

hi so sorry to here about your loss, agree with everthing already said .Sometime even the Police can do the right thing .

[GhostyDog]

Im sorry for your loss.

Be there for yourself as well as others, if you bottle your feelings to help your grandfather theough this then long term thats no good for you, a trouble shared... Be a family and support each other and youll all get through it in time.

[dxechick]

What GD said

and well done old bill

[steveisfrowning]

best wishes Graham - just be there for the old fella, that'll be enough.

[Sooty156]

Really sorry to hear about your loss mate

[Grahameo]

Thank you for all your kind comment's, suggestions and support... It is a difficult time as I'm sure those who have lost close loved ones will agree.

Last night my uncle's (who I was brought up with as older brother's) and I decided to take some of my Grandad's favourite Glenmorangie whiskey, cuban cigars with us and made a nice meal... We all sat down and had a damn good trip down memory lane with my Grandad...
We have all served in the same regiments and all swapped stories... What a wealth of stories and escapades we all have I wish I had recorded it all, I could have wrote a book!

It cheered us all up, my Gran would have wanted us not to be miserable but to enjoy some quality time together as a family....
The women of the family did the same at my aunt's house, my wife has said that it started off somber but ended up in a really funny evening.
I have a very thick head at the moment so something worked last night!

My Grandad has took the offer up to move in with my aunt, the house is far too big for him now so we are busy sorting out all the funeral arangements and logistics of moving his keepsakes etc.... Including a 20ft by 12ft shed that is his pride and joy!

[braddersR]

Sounds like you're all going to pull through this difficult time

[MrShusky]

If our children feel 1/100th of what you are feeling for your grand parents, for us when it's our turn to go we will be very proud indeed.

Our thoughts are with you and your families at this very sad time.

[EauRouge]

God Bless you and your's Graham.

[bacon]

Sorry to hear of your loss Graham.

[Bananaman1]

all the best at the worst of times

[Gazzarooni]

I am really sorry for you and your family. You have virtually described my life approximately 5 years ago. I just made sure I was there for my grandpa when he was ready to reach out and my family were there for me.As for the police,I take my hat off to them.
It also sounds that your g/mother had a good life and was loved by all.